Life, please... no more

[Kahlia1981]

Kat: Thanks hun. *hugs*

So damn stressed at the moment.

Have a lit review/essay due on Jan 7th - the same day my results come out for last Study period (SP).

I am really nervous about my results coming out. My subjects result should come back as at least a Distinction (D). With my previous results of a 10% D & a 20% High Distinction (HD) I was sitting on a 6.5 for the subject heading into the exam. Unless I screwed up the exam, which I feel confident I didn't, I should maintain the result of a D but I may have been able to lift it to a HD if I did well enough on the exam. The only way I could have dropped it is if I completely screwed up the exam ... but I'm still stressing!! It may just be because the exam was 50% of the total mark, and I had to get at least 40% in the exam to pass the subject. I wish I knew now!!

I have been working solidly on the literature review for the last two days. I have summarised seven journal articles && the relevant areas of the textbook but am having issues with putting it into discussion points && therefore an essay. I'm hoping that I will be able to get the inspiration I need to get this literature review essay to come together. At present I am really struggling, although I have some twenty-odd pages of notes.

I have not neglected my other subject either as I have a group assignment and some work for my next deliverable for my first assignment that I am still working on at the same time. I also am doing data collection for the management subject for another assignment as well. Uni work is apparantly never finished at the moment.

My back isn't too crash hot either. I keep sleeping on my back which is making it worse, but at least my legs aren't having shooting pains I guess. I have to obtain a CT scan for my GP, the booking of which is proving to be a difficulty at the moment. I keep telephoning the place but have been met with difficulty getting through to them the last two days. I will keep trying however as it is necessary to rule out some physical abnormalities.

Our weather has been quite nasty of late. Here in north queensland we have had the first cyclone of the season already - a present for christmas. We are having thunderstorms quite regularly and with a violent intensity. We had one last night that caused us to lose power. We don't know when they are going to hit, and when they cause us to lose power, hoiw long for. But, they are pretty severe at the moment. They also cause some unbearable heat and humidity, and long periods of rain.

Sometimes it just all gets too much. *sigh*

[crazykat]

Good luck for your results, I know how nerve racking it can be waiting around for results. The weather doesn't sound great there, I hope it eases.

[Kahlia1981]

Thanks Kat.

Do you ever have one of those days when you just want to run away from it all?

*sigh*

I had my CT scan today. Thankfully I didn't have to wait too long in the waiting room at either the beginning or the end. AND the gown they gave me to put on was too big for me. It wasn't one of their white "hospital" gowns either. It was this blue and white checked dress-like thing and it looked kind of nice. If it had of been closed at the back I think it would have made a nice dress for me ...

Anyway, it only took me 5 mg of xanax to deal with having the CT scan. I went in head first ... which was the worst part I guess, and when she stopped the machine at the end I had to consciously stop myself from immediately sitting up. That would have been particularly bad as I was still in the middle of the "doughnut" at that point and could have knocked myself out - or damaged the machine.

But it's over and the doctor will definitely have the results by the time I see him about it. Now I just have to stop myself from pulling out the films and attempting to compare them with images available on the Internet. *sigh*

Just so damned stressed right now and I don't know how to deal with it. But I guess I will get through it because I have gotten through it before.

[crazykat]

Yeah I do. Good luck with the CT results. Thinking of you xxx

[Pomegranate]

I am way behind so not totally sure what is going on, apologies. But I too hope your CT results are ok and I wanted to wish you a happy 2011 Kahlia :)

*leaves some hugs*

[Kahlia1981]

Thanks to you both Kat && Emma. *big hugs*

I'm not sure if this will make sense right now.

As a quick update:

I got my results from last study period at uni - a HD
Still working hard on my two subjects for this study period
I get the results from my CT scan on Tuesday
I'm in the grip of a depression that is ... not pleasant
I went clothes shopping on Tuesday just gone and started replacing my now too-big wardrobe

Also, during the worst of my depression I had set a date to go with my suicide plan. That date has now been and gone. On the date I got myself ready to go ahead and found myself unable to do it for one reason. Just one simple reason. In some ways it scares me to the bone because that reason can be removed and it is the only thing that is acting as a protective barrier. Since then I have been trying to work out what to do. Yesterday I opened up someone IRL for the first time about it. I haven't even told my housemate. I really don't want to hurt or upset him. I also don't want to end up in the hospital - partly because I'm terrified of the place, and partly because I am right in the middle of the study period and it will completely destroy any hope I have of finishing it. I have my GP appointment on Tuesday and a psychiatrist appointment on the 19th. The friend I told yesterday and I discussed talking with them about it and decided just acknowledging the depression and suicidal urges with the GP but not the almost attempt, but telling the full story to the psychiatrist. I just really don't want anyone to overreact.

*sigh* I wish my moods were as under control as my psychosis

[Kahlia1981]

Am trying to keep myself in control and on track.

I managed to write seven paragraphs for my Lit Review assignment today. I still have another five or so paragraphs to write, but at least the words are flowing fairly easily. I should be able to get it written tomorrow so it can be proofread on Tuesday and (hopefully) submitted on Wednesday ahead of the extended deadling of Friday. In addition I have another assignment with two deliverables for the same subject with deadlines that are getting considerably closer that I need to get moving on.

Also I instigated my group panel activity for my other subject and it looks as if the other members are starting to come to the party and that task is beginning to take place which is a great relief. The task involves an online meeting which needs to be recorded and transcribed. Hopefully we can all get together and get the appropriate technology working the way we wish it to. My second deliverable for a different assignment for that subject is also underway, but is not causing too much stress at this point in time.

As is obvious uni work never seems to stop.

My GP appointment is coming closer and I will have to face opening up to him about the suicidal thoughts and my plans. I'm really not looking forward to it - in fact I'm downright terrified. I don't want to go to the hospital and it scares me that he might send me there, especially in the middle of the uni study period. However, I don't want to risk ending my life over something that can be prevented either, and I know how tenuous my grip is on this life. The barrier that prevented me from taking my life is something that can be removed quite easily .... and that scares me too.

I will have to go through this whole process again when I see my psychiatrist on the 19th of January. Hopefully he will take some action in order to help me gain some form of control against my aggressive mood swings. I don't know if there is anything other than psychological help that can work against the suicidal ideation, but the mood swings will require some chemical assistance. I just hope that there is something out there that can do the trick - maybe even just playing with what I am already on to adjust the dose and make it more effective. At least I have a psychiatrist that I trust.

Right now I just wish that I could curl up in the foetal position and let the world pass me by ...

[Kahlia1981]

Well the LitReview is on track. It's completely written with one word to spare on the word count (+10%). Tomorrow it gets proofread and hopefully will be able to be submitted on Wednesday. That will get another assignment out of my hair.

I'm starting to get a bit nervous about the GP appointment tomorrow. Partly because of my back and the results from the CT scan and partly because of the depression and my suicidal urges. I don't think there will be anything obvious on the CT scan and in a way that concerns me. If there was something obvious there might be something that could be done to ease or remove the shooting pains I get in my legs when my back gets aggravated at night or at various times during the day. As it is I don't think they will be able to do anything. It makes simple activities much harder right now. As for the depression and suicidality ... well I don't think he can or will do anything and bringing it up will make me feel worse as well. Especially with no where to turn. But, I guess I have no choice.

I feel like a whiny teenager right now talking about my insignificant problems. So I almost killed myself. I didn't, so why should it matter? I'm obviously able to take care of myself and not in any danger - that's the view that our crisis team would take anyway. Just because I know that there is only one thing that stopped me, and that thing can easily be removed and then I would quite easily have gone ahead. So many times in the last few days I have thought about just leaving - just walking off and leaving my whole life behind me. But why? Nothing is going to improve if I do. I am my problem. I can't fix me. I am a broken doll, diseased from the inside out. The darkness I carry with me has to remain hidden inside right now because nobody understands it or can deal with it - but that doesn't mean that I can deal with it.

I keep wondering if it really is worth it. *sigh* Sometimes it would be nice to wake up and find out my entire life has just been a bad dream. To wake up and find that it is the morning before Jem committed suicide -to find him still alive and to take my life again from that point. But that's a chance I'll never have. The choices are made, the paths taken and the nightmare never ends.

[Kahlia1981]

I got the results of my CT scan today .... I have some protruding and bulging discs in my lower back and some early signs of serious problems. My brother summed it up as "it sucks to be you". It's likely going to require surgery down the track which will need to be done by a neurosurgeon because my spinal canal is narrowing and my spinal cord is getting "squeezed" by both the cord and the degredation of my spine. Yay. // sarcasm intended

On one hand at least there is a reason for my pain. On the other hand it's only going to get worse and there isn't much they can do. The best thing my brother could say (he's an ICU nurse who ended up having to explain it to me in terms I could really understand) is that at the level the degradation and protrusions have/are occurring I most likely will still be able to walk.

Now I feel *so* much better ....

I told the GP about the depression and suicidal thoughts. He just wants me to bring it up with my psychiatrist when I see him on the 19th. I didn't tell him about how close I came to attempting suicide ... I don't think it would have changed anything anyway. He just started talking about the possibility of the pain having an effect as well as environmental factors and so on. *sigh*

Now I'm just dropping back into the depression and I don't know whether I can be bothered to even pretend that I want to do anything about it. I think I would rather just disappear. I just want it all to end.

[Kahlia1981]

Things are starting to hit home today.... I'm starting to think about how my spinal issues are going to affect the rest of my life. I started to think about what effect pregnancy would have on my back. If losing weight would make it easier on my back what would the added weight of pregnancy do? From that I decided that it would be better for me (if possible) to have any children I want to have earlier rather than later in life. Of course that is better for both my health and the health of the child anyway, and it also relies on me having both a partner and a reliable, caring and understanding medical team to take care of both my medical and psych needs.

I'm also struggling on another front but that is because of a doctors decision. I mentioned to my GP that I'm struggling to get rid of another cough and he prescribed me some cold and flu medicine to take for three days. I don't know why because I don't have a sore throat, runny nose or congestion or anything, just a nasty cough. The bad part is that I can't take any xanax or mogadon while I'm on it, or for 12 hours after I take the last tablet. That means that right now I can't sleep, and I can't take anything to help me. So I'm sitting here wide awake with my downcast and depressing thoughts and struggling to work out what to do.

Oh well. I guess it will all work itself out and the light in the tunnel that has been shut off for so long will come back on.

[Kahlia1981]

The floods that have basically decimated 3/4 of my state (Queensland) are just devastating right now. It is really hitting home to me because I have family in Rockhampton, Toowoomba, the Gold Coast and the Sunshine Coast. Luckily not all those areas were affected but I also have friends in Brisbane so it's pretty much a mixed bag. Thankfully all my family and friends are okay being placed in areas where they were on higher grounds. Some of them were only a short walk away from flooded areas however and took some amazing photographs of the flooding.

For us northerners, we may have been spared the worst parts by being kept free from flood waters but we have neither been left alone by mother nature, nor been unaffected by the flood flow-on effects. We have been having rain storms and thunderstorms that come out of the blue several times a day - often enough to wake me at night. It is quite common for the sun to be shining one minute and it to be bucketing rain the next with absolutely no warning. The thunderstorms can be enough to leave suburbs without power for a few hours.

As for the flow-on effects of the floods, they relate to the scarcity of food and medical supplies. Earlier this week the supermarkets were facing a situation of low supply and high demand of bread, milk, toilet paper and batteries. The shelves in the supermarket were almost empty. The fruit and vegetable section looked like it had been ravished. All that was left was a few pieces that were rotting. Even tins of champignons were selling like hotcakes!!

Already the flooding has cost Queensland billions of dollars. The clean up is going to cost billions more. Hopefully the councils in the affected areas will either provide some form of credit for the water used to clean out the flood damaged properties as water is so expensive and this definitely was an act of god that could not be predicted or avoided.

However there is one thing that always sets Australians (and Queenslanders especially) apart in times of adversity and that is the ability to make the best of it and find some way to make themselves smile. One example of this can be seen in the photo below of a statue of Wally Lewis (a sporting "great") kitted out for the floods.

[Kahlia1981]

My back has shown an example of the nightmare pain I can expect to experience for the rest of my life today. The pain has been (and still is) excruciating. I can't get comfortable no matter what I do. Every time I move it sends shooting pains both down my legs and throughout my body. I had to walk down to the pharmacy at the nearest shopping centre this morning which gave me a test of just how bad things are going to get. Considering that things are only going to get worse I guess that I'm going to just have to live for the good days.



In terms of uni study I managed to complete another deliverable leaving me with only another five to complete and my two final exams for the study period. In some ways it feels like it is never ending, on the other hand at least I am making some progress. By the end of this week I will have completed another deliverable having then completed four with four to go. A nice half-way point.

Today I also managed to complete my reading of the textbook for one of my subjects which will make the two deliverables for one subject easier, as it helps to narrow my focus for those items. It also makes me more confident on my choice of topics and provides me with much needed information in preparation for the exam.

I still have so much to do and am just getting so tired - in fact I crashed out for an hour or so this afternoon because of the pain. I don't know how I am going to cope if the pain keeps increasing. I really need to replace my mattress and I can't afford the cost. Without replacing it however there is no chance of improvement for my back as I can't get any relief for my back during the night.

Right now everything just seems to be hitting at once. I just want it all to stop.

On top of that I have to face my psychiatrist on Wednesday and tell him about the almost suicide attempt. I don't think he will do anything, but it still makes me nervous. *sigh*

I just wish this was all over.

[crazykat]

*Hugs* Sorry things are so hard for you right now, I hope things pick up for you soon. Take care
Kat xxx

[Kahlia1981]

Kat: *hugs* Thanks so much. Your support means a lot to me. How are you getting on down there with the flood situation?

My back has granted me a little bit of relief today. A little less pain. It's allowed me to do just that little bit more. I'm still taking things relatively easy as it lets me know when I move in a way it doesn't like - or for that matter sit/stand/lie down in a way it doesn't like.

My mother came around today to see how I was dealing with the back situation. She didn't stay all that long - around about half an hour. We mostly talked about her to be honest. She has been looking after my brothers youngest for the last couple of weeks and really struggling as the child has serious behavioural issues. Thankfully she only has her for one more week before she goes to school for her prep year. My mum hasn't been able to leave her unsupervised for a minute because she gets into things she isn't supposed to - to the extent of climbing up into cupboards in rooms with shut doors and so on, and pretends not to understand that doing things like opening grandpa's mail and strewing it around the house is wrong.

I started working on my uni work as well today both preparing myself for the meeting I have to be part of on Tuesday night and my next two written assignments for my management subject. In some ways it feels like the assignment work never ends, but in others it feels like the exams are getting here far too fast!

I've been trying to contact the disability coordinator at Swinburne for a week now with 4 attempts made at contact. I even tried ringing the OUA-Swinburne Enquiries line and no-one bothered to get back to me! I've tried emailing but my emails get returned and I even checked the email address with the one supplied on the website and it is correct. I tried replying to the one she sent me and using the alternate one in her email and continuously get the same results. I went to ring her on Friday but the website says she is there Tuesday and Wednesday and the email says she is there Tuesday and Thursday!!! I know it will be safe to ring on Tuesday and both the website and the email agree on the phone number (so hopefully that hasn't changed as well) but I urgently need to make this change so I'm really beginning to stress! It should have been completed last week and if they tell me it's too late I will take it up with OUA because it would have been if they hadn't f****d me around by not returning my calls and having the wrong email!! I would bad-mouth them with OUA so fast if they try anything like that, and I will tell them so because I tried to make contact and the contact on Friday went through OUA first so will be documented there.

Sorry, just needed to blow off some steam. Just a little bit stressed about that at the moment.

I have my psychiatrist appointment on Wednesday and I'm really not looking forward to it. I have to talk to him about the mood issues and about the almost suicide attempt. I have to tell him that the depression is, right now, just below the surface. I'm constantly aware of it and can slip into it so easily and am always fighting to remain just above it. If I let go, even just for a second, I will be back into it again. And if I lose the protective barrier, which would be so easy to do, and the circumstances arise, I would be able to kill myself so easily. *sigh* Why do I not want to tell him that?

Oh well, whatever will be will be.

[crazykat]

There is no flooding where I am, however where my dad is there is flooding there. Thankfully not as bad as Queensland and for the moment his house is alright as he is on higher ground but just doing things such as getting groceries is hard due to the flooding in surrounding towns and his own town. I am glad your back hasn't been as painful today. Must be hard on your mum, but I am glad she came to see if you were okay even if she focused on herself. Good luck with the uni work, I think you are doing so well with it despite everything. I hope the uni gets back to you soon. Good luck with your pysch appointment. Hold on there
Kat xxx

[SoMuchMore]

I just caught up on your last few updates. Im sorry about your medical issues, I know that must be really hard to deal with. Also, I think its a good idea to talk to your psych about things, even if you don't want to, it will hopefully be helpful in the long run. Good luck with uni stuff!

*hugs tight*

[Kahlia1981]

*hugs Kat && Laura*

We went down to the supermarket today and for the first time in ages (since the floods hit) they had fresh produce! There was actually quite a supply of fresh fruit and veg and they looked okay. The prices were through the roof, but what can you expect considering the amount of crops that were damaged and how long the trucks were stuck near Rockhampton etc.

I'm getting nervous about an assessment piece I have to do. I have to be part of an online meeting tomorrow night. I'm not quite sure why I'm so nervous about it. I think it may just be because I don't "know" the other three people so I don't know whether they will have put in the effort required beforehand and come prepared. I know that I can't do anything if they haven't, but it still stresses me - and as my housemate likes to tell me I'm a stress-a-holic.

I also decided that in order to complete one of my assessments for my management subject I need to at least get to the draft stage of the assessment that is due the week after. The first assessment is a poster and the second is a report. The poster is supposed to show the line we are taking for the report, but for me I won't be comfortable doing that unless I have at least a draft of the discussion section of the report written. That cuts my report draft time down to about two weeks, but I think I should still have the time. I don't have to have it fully submittable by then afterall.

I'm not feeling too crash hot emotionally right now. I'm hoping that that begins to settle. I tried to go to sleep earlier and had to get up because of the emotional stuff starting to take over my head. *sigh* Sometimes I just have to ask the question "does this ever end?"

Would really love to get some sleep right now .......

[Kahlia1981]

Last night was crap. When I managed to go to sleep I ended up waking twice with severe panic attacks. Both times I seriously thought I was going to die and was struggling to breathe. The first time it was also raining and someone's fire alarm was going off. I could barely get off the bed to close the windows and then I couldn't move. I was shaking and limping the breaths in. I needed to feel someone near me and tried to wake my housemate, but I couldn't get him to wake up enough. In the end I settled back to sleep until I woke up with the second panic attack.

I'm hoping that the attacks were just because of my nerves over tonights meeting that I have to do for an assessment. If that is all it was then after it is over tonight I should be able to sleep and should feel tonnes calmer when it's over. I may not be able to get through it without a Xanax but still, at least it will be done. I've done all the preparatory work I can, and I have been trying *not* to stress myself overly much today - in fact I even went to the shopping centre with my sister and youngest niece and bought my housemate the first season of Blackadder (remastered) on DVD - and done some exercise and so forth in order to keep myself from thinking about it. Mind you, it was a bit of a shock when I found out that our Chairman is in LA and had only just arrived there a few hours ago ... hopefully he gets the time zone issues right.

Last night when I couldn't sleep I decided to print out all the journal articles I will need for my report for the management subject. I also cleaned up my desk quite a bit because I knew that my sister would be coming over today. I've been trying to keep on top of things so that I know where all my study materials are and have easy access to everything that I need, and don't have excess materials on my desk. This will be especially useful during the meeting as I am acting as secretary and will be typing the minutes during as well as participating so require all documentation in front of me *and* a fully visible screen. Therefore, desk space is a premium.

My sister used to work as a physio so talked to me today about my back and some exercises I can do to help it out. There are some exercises I can do that may cause the discs that have protruded into the spinal canal to slip back into their normal places. They will still bulge (like the one below them) but they will no longer spill into the canal itself. If those exercises are able to work I will be able to stave off the spinal surgery for quite some time - or at least reduce the seriousness of it when it comes. Unfortunately it may not work. Other exercises help to give control to muscles and so forth to protect areas around the spine and help them to take up the role so that the muscles directly around the spine can relax a little. She also wants me to do nerve glides to allow the nerves to start "moving" again because of the nerve trouble I have been having. It's kind of like an advanced exercise regime with baby exercises.

Oh well. The back wants what it wants I guess ...

[crazykat]

Good luck with your assessments and I hope the meeting goes okay for you. I hope the exercises help you too.

[Kahlia1981]

Kat: Thanks sweet. *hugs*

I had a really crap night last night. I had the urge/feeling/whatever of just wanting to walk away. It became almost unbearable. The thing with this feeling/urge is that I know that if I walk I will never be coming back. I will leave with nothing. I will walk out and lock up behind me, leave the keys in the letter box and just start walking until I get to the highway (in whichever direction) and just start walking along it. Sooner or later I will just walk infront of a car or a truck or something and that will be it.

The feeling/urge got so strong I was almost compelled to act on it and couldn't really work out what to do. In part I wanted to act on it, and yet at the same time I didn't. I rang a friend - the one person IRL who knows about my almost suicide attempt. It was close to midnight and I was a bit apprehensive about ringing her for fear of waking her up - which I did - but when I explained the situation she was fine to just talk to me and "talk me down". After some xanax and diazepam and a few cigarettes while we were talking about everything I managed to calm down and be able to cope enough to get through to make it through the night.

In the end I fell asleep at about 01:30 or so and slept fairly well until 07:00. I see my psychiatrist this morning, so it will just be one more thing that I have to talk to him about it. I think that my mood issues and things like that are going to have to be addressed and he is going to have to take some action today. I think he would much prefer to take a "wait and see" approach, but I don't think we really have that option. My down moods are becoming dangerous. The one thing that worries me - other than that he will want to hospitalise me which I cannot allow - is that he will want to put me back on lithium. I cannot allow that either. For me the lithium just plain does not work. I would much rather he lifted my topiramate or added a different med altogether but I know that he will want to use the lithium. *sigh*

On another topic for a moment (uni). I've had an exam scheduled for 08:15 am. Since all the exams are supposed to be scheduled for business hours and I am reliant on public transport I've written an enquiry to OUA as the facilitator. I realise that my time zone is making it more difficult because I am one hour behind the majority of students - making their exam within business hours and therefore within guidelines - but I will not be able to get to the local venue until immediately before the exam is due to start which will make me rushed (and possibly late for the start of the exam by the time I make it to the actual room). In addition, the early start will disadvantage me in relation to my disability - early morning with regards to my medication issues and so forth and the stress of having to rely on the public transport system. When you add to that the issues I have been having trying to make alterations to my Alternative Assessment Arrangements so that I can have access to a computer for the exam .... - the Disability Liaison Officer at Swinburne for OUA courses has been on leave supposedly until yesterday and the four emails I sent her a week ago all bounced and she did not return my call to her voicemail even though she was due to be in the office yesterday. I even rang her again yesterday and her voice mail was still on the out-of-office reply!! I hadn't even been able to contact the OUA-Swinburne Enquiries line even though I had left messages and had rung OUA Enquiries yesterday who then found out they were unable to reach Swinburne as well!! I eventually got a call back from OUA-Swinburne Enquiries who gave me the number of a DLO from their other campuses, however she is on leave until January 24th - which is of no use to me whatsoever as exam alterations need to be finalised asap. I've made the decision that if I have to I will handwrite this exam as it only involves 12 short answer questions, however I will make it clear to OUA in my Swinburne feedback the difficulties I have had.

The meeting last night actually went quite well. We initially tried to use the audio capabilities of the software but had to stop because one member had significant feedback/reverb issues. Everytime they spoke it was terrible so we ended up conducting the entire meeting via textbox which means we didn't get as much out of the meeting as we could have - which may hurt as mark wise unless they take that into account - because typing is slower than talking. Hopefully the markers will recognise the difficulty there, and not penalise us for what we could not control. Oh well, it is done and the assessment has (for me at least) been submitted. 4 down, 4 to go!

Now I only have one more group meeting to be a part of, and since everyone was at least fairly well prepared for this one - even though one of the participants was in LA - the second meeting should not be too bad. There will be a lot to get through and it will have to be kept more to the clock without the time lags, but hopefully we can get the audio issues sorted in the meantime.

Physical health wise, my back is feeling a bit better today. I'm quite glad about that. It's moving a bit more freely and allowing me a bit more movement. It still lets me know if I move in a way that it doesn't like, but it isn't hurting or aching all the time and I can almost forget about it at times. It's actually quite nice. Hopefully if I don't overdo it today it will keep improving and I'll begin to get "continuous improvement" back to a standard where I can start doing some proper physical exercise as my exercise routine has definitely suffered as a result of the back issues.

That reminds me, I have to order my textbook for next Study Period on my next Centrelink (social security) pay. I'm going to enrol for SP1 2011 on the 1st of February as the cut off for online enrolments is approximately the 13th of February. I am going to order the textbook from BookDepository instead of UniBooks because I will make a saving of $40 on the book itself and don't have to pay delivery. As the first week of the study period isn't until the first week of March and the delivery time is usually approximately 14 business days that should give the book plenty of time to arrive.

Ah, so much to do, so little time....