"i refuse to conform to society's standards, i refuse to be normal. i prefer to be myself. so take me as i am or leave me where you found me."
MY RYL FAMILY: Blondiebear is my sister; nuttergirl is my little sister; makeachoice is my niece; prs100 is my niece; rachel487 is my sister;emovampryss is my wiccan sister; phroggie is my wiccan sister;crazychaoticmess and salutaredelamare are my angels. they always help to save me from myself.
yeah i'm doing my best to not let it win. But I also don't want to put myself in a situation i can't handle.I already made that mistake way to many times.
i have been diagnosed with what i call alphabet soup. the "professionals" say i have bipolar, bpd, ptsd, genaralized anxiety disorder, and d.i.d. truthfully, i think i am just their guinea pig because they dont actually know what is wrong with me. even though i dont think there is anything wrong, just a little out of the ordinary.
I can really relate to that. My diagnosis seems to be: BPD, Depression, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Alcoholism, Bulimia, OCD and some form of 'mood disorder' that they won't specify (CPN thinks its Bipolar).
Its all or nothing
And nothings all I ever get
Every time I turn it on
I burn it up and burn it out
I never get this thing about people not being referred for support when they're unstable.. surely the aim of treatment is to help develop stability.
Or, it is in my book!
NHS systems suck, they all inculde lots an lots of waiting.
I just found this quote about BPD:
Their selves are described as “dead” (Schwarz-Salant 1989), or “empty” (Singer 1977a), as “unstable” or “split” among “part-selves” (Flax 1986), as containing a “defect in the organizing structure of the self” (Ross 1976); alternatively, such patients are said to manifest a “blurring of ego boundaries” (that is, confusion between one's own thoughts and feelings and those of others) (Boyer 1977, 403).
I think i relate to the whole blurring of egos thing. I can see that. Kinda surprising though.
I dont know. I suppose its kinda believable but just kinda unsuspected.
Ween, perhaps if you are having trouble pinning down your beliefs maybe your affected by the same thing, that perhaps your beliefs are reactive to those around you at the time.
Are you keeping a mood and thought diary outside of the sessions? Is that helping at all?
NHS systems suck, they all inculde lots an lots of waiting.
I just found this quote about BPD:
Their selves are described as “dead” (Schwarz-Salant 1989), or “empty” (Singer 1977a), as “unstable” or “split” among “part-selves” (Flax 1986), as containing a “defect in the organizing structure of the self” (Ross 1976); alternatively, such patients are said to manifest a “blurring of ego boundaries” (that is, confusion between one's own thoughts and feelings and those of others) (Boyer 1977, 403).
I think i relate to the whole blurring of egos thing. I can see that. Kinda surprising though.
I'm glad i'm crazy. i thought i was possessed by a spirit or something....I have BPD and ive also been struggling with identity disturbance.Its like there's another person in my head.I'm not gay but it's a she.and she has a name and talks to me sometimes.But i'm scared to tell anyone about it really.I only told the doctor that diagnosed me with BPD and he acted like he didnt want me to tell anyone so i didn't.
What is good? All that heightens the feeling of power in man, the will to power, power itself. What is bad? All that is born of weakness. What is happiness? The feeling that power is growing, that resistance is overcome.
Friedrich Nietzsche, The Antichrist, section 2 (1844-1900) German philosopher
Ween write them all down. you may find patterns in them.
Demon, that could be a number of different things, i would suggest that you speak to someone about it as getting help might make a real differences. There not going to think you are crazy.
I tried talking to someone about it yesterday but i still thought it was a spirit or a demon so i must have sounded totally insane they never replied.This has been going on for about 6 years now.I thought that when she was mad she could give me nightmares.So i was always scared of her.I wish the doc would have told me more about it so i wouldn't have been thinking i was possessed all these years.Thanks bitter angel
What is good? All that heightens the feeling of power in man, the will to power, power itself. What is bad? All that is born of weakness. What is happiness? The feeling that power is growing, that resistance is overcome.
Friedrich Nietzsche, The Antichrist, section 2 (1844-1900) German philosopher
I tried talking to someone about it yesterday but i still thought it was a spirit or a demon so i must have sounded totally insane they never replied.This has been going on for about 6 years now.I thought that when she was mad she could give me nightmares.So i was always scared of her.I wish the doc would have told me more about it so i wouldn't have been thinking i was possessed all these years.Thanks bitter angel
Is this bpd?? sounds like it need more assesment to me, second opinion perhaps??
"I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same too so we are not that different you and I.
You'll be surprised to know how far you can go from the point where you thought it was the end.
it could be BPD. often it can feel like you're possessed, and sometimes these demons represent parts of ourselves that we're afraid of or can't face. sometimes they are the parts of other people who've frightened us.
I might try to bring this up with my doctor.I don't really want to though.I just had 1 15 minute session with him so far so prob not.I don't know what's going to happen i guess....
What is good? All that heightens the feeling of power in man, the will to power, power itself. What is bad? All that is born of weakness. What is happiness? The feeling that power is growing, that resistance is overcome.
Friedrich Nietzsche, The Antichrist, section 2 (1844-1900) German philosopher
I was wondering if anyone had heard of or been to main house in birmingham?
Its a therputic communitie for those with personality disorder.
i have bpd i am actually having a terrible time and have told my cpn i will try other forms of treetment and main house is a possibility.
sort of feel that this is my last chance as i cant carry on the way i am.
Any other suggestions of treetment please post
Whats it like?Did it help?
I have had no info on it not even sure i go yet.
Do you have to wait for months for funding and a place?
Sorry for all the questions
Got no idea bout any of this stuff
