A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
I'm still really triggered. The reason why I don't cut at night anymore is because I always smoke a joint before I go to bed so I'm too high and it puts me in a better place.
Getting dressed this morning I just kept wanting to do it, I kept looking at where I keep my tool and I really wanted to do it but I just want to be normal, I don't want self-harm to be an issue anymore I just want to be normal.
I'm studying for a BTEC right now, so there's no exams but I have so much coursework.
I just feel completely useless, like I'm weighing everybody down, like I'm just a burden. I just don't know how to deal with myself anymore.
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
I know the feeling... I don't have the guts to try again, I don't want to try for a fourth time but for a while I feel like I've been living on the line... If you see what I mean
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
^ yes exactly, just existing not really living. Thing is I want to live, but existing is a safer option because living means I'm more at risk from disappointment and being hurt and I don't want to be hurt or disappointed anymore.
This post isn't really for me, but for another member. BGonya isn't doing so great at the moment, and I think he could use some support. He posted on the SI forum saying he's going through some really tough times.
I just wasn't sure I should make a thread for this, since that is normally reserved for those who aren't able to ask for support on their own.
Shadowedsoul: *hugs* you can make it through this... I'm sure of it. Keep fighting <3
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
I feel like I'm dying, like I can't breathe. My marriage is in the pits. Trying to keep up with my school and my kids. I od'd last night just a little but it didn't work. I feel so alone. I can't breathe. I don't know how to make it through the days.
