Can we make this less about whether or not young people are mature? And more about the pros and cons of a Veterans Chat?
^ saying that, while I'm not usually in Vets Corner, not all the people there are 30+.. and I think a 30+ chatroom would have few to no people frequenting it on a regular basis, whereas the somewhat more general term "veterans chat" might work.
(There is also the fact which amuses me a bit - if it were for over 30s, we'd have to bring in new chat mods... or the current ones wouldn't be allowed in it )
The thing is, I'm still not sure about how to make it work. From a practical point of view. Adding a new room and just hoping it'll be used? Setting up set chat times for vets? *throws some thoughts out there*
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I personally think that they may benefit from a room for more older membersbut not have a strict age limit. Why do I say this? Because I'm 21, yeh, a lot younger than 30 but I don't often go into chat as I find it uncomfortable talking amongst all of the younger members, a lot of whom feel they are mature but it is only when they are older when they realise they are not. I have a lot of friends who are in their 30s who I'm at least as mature as. I live in a rented flat, I have loans, I pay bills (some of which aren't even related to me but that's a diffewrent story altogether) and I have had to cope with a lot of things that a lot of people in their 30s haven't had so it isn't all about age.
I personally know I'm a LOT more mature than most people my age (I have been told by people who are 40+ numerous times and it really confuses them as I look like I'm about 14 but talk like I'm about 35!) and you know what, I can find it hard to cope with at college when people I'm with are ranging mainly from being my age to being 26 and guess who's the most immature one out of us and the one with the least 'life-experience', the 26yr old.
So what I'm trying to say is that yeah it is a good idea but maybe not have such a set limit on it & if you have a set limit of 30 then it would be very quiet as there aren't many members on this site above that age, I personally go in vets and can only think of a few and I don't know whether all of them use chat or not.
minichels, honey I don't think it's that she thinks you younger members don't contribute *pets*. I'm guessing there is a singular problem that she simply can't bring herself to talk to around younger people. She has said that she didn't mean it that you guys were immature or anything. Just that she has her own reasons for this that she doesn't wish to air.
No one is suggesting that younger members don't bring anything to this site. That would be a fairly obsolete statement, since the majority of members are younger.
I don't really have anything more to add as i've posted what I thought in a previous post. just wanted to reassure mini chels that she does contribute. *pets*
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
im sorry the age limit was a stupid idea but i still think we should give it a go ive read your replies and im sorry its caused an outrage you youngsters are mature your kind and considerate to us and you do deserve respect and i do love you all even us older members .
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There has often been big discussions about "sex jokes" in chat, and how it may offend / upset younger members - more often than not you will find someone having a banter about boobs (whoop - ahum) or some other sexual talk, despite the fact it isn't "meant" for chat, it still happens every night, because lets face it - the majority who do use chat are old enough to have a banter about it, so banning it completely would be near impossible.
So i think in that respect possibly an older room would be more beneficial, as you will often find older members having a banter about this in general rooms, and will often get there hands slapped for it, atleast in an older room it would probably be more expected and less shocking to the younger members who aren't comfortable with that sort of conversation.
Similar to Veterans Corner, really, because i don't know about anyone else but i'd find sex talk more suited/appropriate for that area of the forums than anywhere else - i come to expect it, because..er..we're all dirty minded? Rofl.
Just something to throw in there.
Don't pounce on me for saying that =P
Linda the word supposedly means to assume the truth but without full evidence. So when used in this context im saying im assuming there are alot of intelligent people on here. I dont have empiracle evidence to support the fact its full of intelligent people, so i used the next best thing. Its a turn of phrase. Its not a damming statement.
^^ not really. There are different rules in different chat rooms anyway, such as one is for serious talk, general talk is frowned upon, the other extreme is one is for general, serious talk is frown upon. So why can there not be a vets room where mild sex talk (nothing pornographic) is allowed, being mindful that younger members can and probably will frequent from time to time. Sex is a big part of adult relationships, and sometimes people may need to talk about it. Good or bad.
There has often been big discussions about "sex jokes" in chat, and how it may offend / upset younger members - more often than not you will find someone having a banter about boobs (whoop - ahum) or some other sexual talk, despite the fact it isn't "meant" for chat, it still happens every night, because lets face it - the majority who do use chat are old enough to have a banter about it, so banning it completely would be near impossible.
Right, I just want to say all my following post is not just regarding the quote, it's just my ideas that came to mind because of this.
Erm it's not just younger members that can get offended by such conversation. Yes, it is more accepted in vets as we are mostly of an age where it is basically part of everyday life but I don't think that means it is ok to discuss it continually. I personally HATE banter about boobs for reasons I'm not prepared to go through with anyone and I also think it does come across as being very immature. So what if you have 'boobs' etc, 50% of the population do, they're not really special and it is something pretty immature to have constant convo's about. When you get a conversation that goes on for ages and ages discussing boobs it gets very wearing.
Yeah, I banter about them at times with my mates but we know what is appropriate and usually it lasts no longer than a few mins and is usually stuff like "hmmm I know who that photo is, can't forget those boobs" which then moves onto other related things (and yes, my friendship group does include the odd lad and lesbians but we are all mature enough to know when to stop). Boobs should not become the main focus of a convo and I don't see why a board which would solely lead to talk of that nature would benefit anyone.
One, however, where 'older' people feel more comfortable to talk however maybe and yeh, there will be some banter, some innuendo's and stuff but if there were to be a new room it should be one where this is in moderation and where if one person is uncomfortable with it then the topic changes.
I'm not trying to be a kill joy I'm just saying that I don't see the point in it if it is just going to be a room that ends up orientated around sex and nothing else.
I venture into Vets a lot and feel that at the moment the balance there is about right, though sometimes, like a few weeks ago, the sex talk does get a bit much. I see one of my mates at home and she's known me all the way through my teenage years but is quite a bit older than me. She is one of my best friends and when we talk it is a mixture of both banter/ innuendo along with other often more serious things or just general convo and that is what is necessary, a mixture that people can be relaxed with. I would hate to see a new room added that would just become thought of as the 'sex-talk' room as in my mind that is totally unnecessary and is one of the main things I dislike about chat at the moment, the total immature continuous talk about boobs that seems never ending at times (though I don't know what it is like at the moment, it may have changed since the rule change) so that is one thing which I would not like to happen.
Whilst I think another room for 'older' members/ vets may be useful I don't want it to become the place where all you talk about is sex. I don't feel that would benefit anyone.
^^ Kim, I completely agree with you. I too get weary of the "boobies!!!" comments. I can have banter about that sort of thing but it gets tired after a while, and I get enough of the sex jokes and innuendo outside of RYL.
I wasn't going to mention it because I don't really believe in censorship or anything like that and also because I felt like I was the only one who thought like that.
Sometimes being an older member and talking to a younger member, no matter how mature they are, can be completely intimidating. They might be mature, but most the time they havnt been through the stuff an older member has been through. You know they cant say they have been battling depression for 10 years or they cant say that they are suffering from long term complications of SI. There is just so much that younger members dont know and maturity has nothing to do with it.
I was intimidated to hell when i first joined the site. To be in my 20's and asking for advice off a teenager is downright embarrassing and i dont mind admitting that. Im supposed to be the adult, im supposed to be the one who knows what to do, yet here i am falling apart asking a 'kid' on how i should handle my life. And this might include things such as marriage or court cases. You just cant know until you get older what it is like.
I think you are wrong for being so mean to the OP as it was only an idea. and i hate the way RYL has turned where everything in F&CQs turns into a fight.
But back to the subject in question. I dont think a 30+ room would work. However, a vets corner room might be worth a trial run to see if its used. I know that I would use it, but im not sure who else would.
Can we please keep this discussion on track as I would like to see the results of it as opposed to it having to be locked or anything.
Firstly, i don't think i did mention anything about the room just being used for sexual talk.
So i had no idea where you got that impression from.
The point is sexual innuendo's are always popping up in chat regardless of conversation or topics, it's life. That's not to say it's all people ever talk about in Chat, i've frequented Chat many times in the past and had some full on debateable conversations which have not only been enjoyable but have been a complete distraction to my mood at the time.
So really, giving the impression that it's all others speak about in Chat is slightly niave, because it isn't.
What i am saying is that it happens, people will get offended regardless of age, but if an older room were to be made/a trial period had, atleast in a more adult room sexual talk will be more expected than what it would be in a mostly general room.
I don't even go on the Veterans Board because most of the time it is relating to sex. I often contribute to the odd post on benefits/bills/housing, but other than that i steer clear because most of the time it seems to be more of a "personal jokes" board which i get completely confused in.
I rarely go into chat these days, possibly twice a week to catch up with people and have a bit of company, and each time someone will come up with the odd sexual innuendo which will make me spit my drink out and laugh, it's never gotten past the uncomfortable stage - or atleast for me.
So all in all, me bringing up/stating the obvious was really just to throw the opinion out there, that a more adult room would probably benefit more from something like that than things being spoken about in general where it would probably be less expected of people.
Actually, I think it is complete and utter bollocks to suppose that older people have more experience. Know plenty of younger teenagers who have a LOT of knowledge of benefits, housing issues, jobs, abortions and all sorts of things. Equally I know people in their 30s who have zero experience of these things (myself included). Besides, just because one has not personally experienced something does not mean that does not have valid and useful knowledge and advice.
Completely agree with everything Irene said.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PengyNoir
I really dont understand this place at all. Supposedly full of intelligent people and yet it is seemingly becoming more and more impossible to have any sort of discussion without someone getting arsey!
Just because someone disagrees with you, doesn't make them 'arsey'.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Euphoria Blossom
That's kinda almost saying you can *technically* break rules in one chat room but not the other :/
If I'm on the right track.
Probably not.
*hides*
A set of rules for one set of people and a different set for another, based purely on age. And there are people trying to argue this isn't ageist?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morrigan
Thing is, how often do we see people on the veterans' boards talking about things like loans and bills? It's pretty rare, but even so, plenty of the younger members do have personal knowledge of financial struggles and trying to run their lives. Hell, if anything they talk about it more than the older people.
Exactly, vets doesn't seem all too different to general, really. There's more of a community vibe though.
I can't help but find this whole thing pretty offensive, I'm shocked that certain people are getting away with being so discriminatory. And annoyed that apparently I'm being arsey. Give over. You're saying that I'm an immature and inexperienced based purely on my age. You have no idea what anyone on this site has been through, life experience has **** all to do with age, I've been thorugh a lot that a lot of my older friends haven't, as a result people are usually a bit surprised when they find out I'm only 19. No, I've not been through the menopause but how many people here actually have, anyway?
This thread is just going around in circles, and more people seem to be coming in and getting offended and taking it all personally. It is completely off track from the original intention, and I think it's best if it is locked. If you disagree, please PM me.
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