dear 13 year old me
take your sisters and go to your nans, tell her everything. Tell her what he does. She'll go to the authorities or something, she'll know who to tell to make it stop and you'll be protected. Don't talk to your maths teacher, she cant be trusted it will just make things worse.
Stop being so shy make loads of friends dont be afraid of talking to guys.
wear contact lenses do your hair. Feel confident about who you are. Dont listen who give you grief for doing well in school!
talk to mum. Encourage mum and dad to do stuff together. Stop fighting with your brother. It drives mum crazy.
Things aren;t gonna be easy in the future. Do not trust *A* hes gonna wreck everthing dont let him.
Dont give up during your highers things workout ok. Think about what you really want to do at uni not just what you think you should.
Dont bother staying on for a sixth year there's no point.
Get help when it starts do not leave it! It will get worse
you're gonna have a great summer 07 make the most of it but remember it wont change who you are!
Oh and watch the alcohol - you're gonna like it and it doesnt like you back. Just be careful you could lose people over it.
learn to love yourself or you'll end up despising who you are
take care never never give up
13 year old Kirsty
This may well be the year your life turns from **** to complete ****.
See, 18 year old you blocks this out and can't remember exactly
You tell HIM about your father and mother, make it sound worse than you realize it probably was. They don't come round. They find out anyway. They hate you and are disappointed in you. If you don't harm yourself already you start soon
This December you run. But you get scared, so you go back. To more disappointment.
You are made fun of and bullied. Learn to deal, if happens all your life.
You don't try to kill yourself yet. But you will soon enough.
And maybe you should try harder. Then I wouldn't be where I am now
You make mistakes with guys. You feel guilty. But its okay, when you are 18 you meet someone, he is called Andrew, he is the only good thing left in your life now, and that isn't really an exaggeration. You love him though and move in with him. Just fight with people less, okay??
Drink less, be more self-assured, less quite and look after your body. And don't go to that Aikido course at Darlington, it seems you will carry that injury forever now.
And when you go to uni at 17, drink less, sleep more and eat better. At 18 you are almost obese, becoming a statistic.
In fairness though, I probably wouldn't be the 18 year old I am now, if it wasn't for you
Just... try and be happy I guess.
Nobody knows, nobody cares that I die on the inside
Nobody sees the lie that is me, as I smile on the outside
you're really going to miss primary school when your older.
you're really not going to remember much of secondary school when you're older. possibly becuase you were always preoccupied and never learnt how to be a kid properly. ofcourse you don't know this yet, or why this was.
im going to save you some trouble.
when you start to remember stuff from your childhood, for gods sake tell someone. it only gets harder, believe me. don't supress it, it makes it worse.
you need to lose weight. im telling you for your own good. join some sports teams, don't be put off becuase the rest of the people are popular and blonde and what not. you're just as good, in fact you're better. you just don't know it.
be yourself. don't be ashamed of it. don't hide. becuase if you do when you're older [i speak reason and truth] you won't know yourself.
be a kid. do crazy things. i know you want to control you school life. be the good kid, and perfectionist. and i know you never truly got to be a kid [you don't know why yet becuase you haven't started remembering yet but when you do you'll understand] BE A KID! becuase when you're 19 and acting like a 13 yr old no-one will appreciate it.
there are a few teachers you will remember becuase they believe in you more than you believe in yourself. tell them how great they are and how much you've appreciated their help. when you're 17 and doing drama, talk to Tommy. he is the shoulder you need when you cry, don't be proud and say nothing wrong and that you can figure it out. becuase you can't.
when J tells you he loves you. believe him. don't push him away. or any other friends and other people you know away [i know you do, you can't hide from me damn it] they care about you. and j is good for you. give him a chance, you mightn't be so f-ed up when your older otherwise.
oh and you know you start to like the taste of pain. don't. try to stop scratching. don't reach for sharp objects. just don't. no pills either. they don't numb the pain. and don't keep a diary, becuase mum stumbles upon it and prys. and pretends she hasn't and lets you carry on living your life with out attempting to find about the abuse. or making you feel better and less insane.
you got it.
also, accept you're a slight odd ball now, don't bother trying to fit in. those who don't accept you as you are don't desearve to know you.
*something affectionate*
your 19 yr old self.
Last edited by privileged-outcast : 25-01-2008 at 11:01 PM.
Reason: spelling
stop hiding who you really are, be who you are with your friends. laugh, joke, be a bit crazy. stop being so shy, or when you decide you want to be yourself, you'll never break away from being 'the mute'
stop hurting yourself when you get upset, it might only be every so often now, but if you dont stop now, youll be doing it all the time in 5 years time.
stop refusing school, youll regret it when you know you have to leave. youll miss out on friends, and social events, and thats something youll never be able to get back.
dont waste so many tears on dad, hes always going to be a crap parent, but hes not a bad person. take it as it comes, but never rely on him, stop doing that right now.
dont be too hard on yourself, you really arent as bad as you think. work on the anger with the counsellor mum got you, trust and use them, if you dont work with them now, youll still be in counselling 5 years down the line.
stop relying on people who dont love you, look closer to home, you have a mum and friends who wont leave you. dont put all your trust in one person, cos shes just going to mess with your head.
love
18 year old Sian
"If only everyone could know and live with their inner craziness…people would be fairer and happier." Paulo Coelho
Your life is going to suck!! But sometimes its going to be fun as well. Hold on to your memorys. One day you'll realise there all you have some people because sometimes people die when there not meant to, when there far too young. Never regret anything because although everything may seem **** it can get better.
How ever the puking thing. Don't bother because in years to come, even when you feel happy, you won't be able to stop. It'll be your downfall!
From 20 year old me.
(PS...we may have physically grown up but really we'll always be 13!!!)
13 year old el.
Please don't try the suicide thing again.
It won't work, just as it didn't this time.
You don't know how to make it work.
And it will lead to an SI problem in a few years.
Don't make friends with Grace.
She will damage you more than you may think.
Ignore Ashleigh. Get out of that friendship while you can.
Don't stop working when you get to GCSEs.
And don't pick music because she wanted you too.
Do geography. You'll pass that.
Pay attention to your friends at college.
They are suffering and you could help them if you pay attention.
Don't start restricting your food intake, and please don't binge.
Please be nice to your mum. DON'T DO THE RACE FOR LIFE. It will really mess things up if you do.
Oh, and tell Jay to eff off. Before Christmas Eve. Please?
Don't get drunk and blurt out your secrets.
Change your life for the better.
From 19 year old el. I hate you by the way. And you're only going to get worse if you ignore what I just said.
Dear 13-year old self:
You might think that you're as mature as everyone else because you're smarter than they are. The truth is that you're emotionally immature.
Please try to stop being so dependent on people, it will only hurt more later. Get something out of your relationships. Learn to trust and get yourself help before you silence yourself.
Learn something about yourself. Take risks. Don't quit pre-comp, you will regret it for years.
Learn how to eat. Before you know it it will be a formiddable task and no one will know how to teach you.
I know he's going to yell at you more over the next few years and you won't be able to escape it. It's not your fault. He has not dealt with his grief and even 5 years from now he will not have. It's not your fault. You are not what he wants to think you are.
Love yourself. Take care of yourself. You are strong & intelligent & you can get through this if you try.
xx me.
Dear 13 year old Sarah
don't go out with her just stay friends it will be easier that way, talk to other people more don't be scared of them, stop cutting yourself. Do something other than music pay attention to things you like play more badminton but don't make yourself do too much. don't mess about with your eating. You aren't useless pay attention at school and try and do some more work it will make it easier larter on.
lots of love 17 year old Sarah.
Dear Megan, at 13,
I know your life is difficult right now, but they will stop. Until you finally get away from them, no, it's not going to go away. They'll always be laughing at you because of it. You're getting mad, dealing with it in other ways. It will start to come out more next year, they will see how angry they make you. The tables will turn and they will be afraid of you. However, don't make that your persona, it shouldn't define who you are. Don't let it. Be you. Those thoughts of cutting yourself? Leave them alone, don't do it. You shake them off all the time and well done, really well done, you'll realise in a few years how serious that can get and I can tell you you'll be glad you did shake them off.
None of this is your fault. There is nothing wrong with you. Stop listening to them and believing them, they know it upsets you and that's why they do it, they think you're an easy target, and that's all there is to it. They're pathetic, and you'll see, and smile, in a few years when your life goes somwhere and theirs doesn't.
Don't take it out on your friends. They don't deserve it, stop yourself now because you'll turn into what you hate very soon, and it will take you a long time to rectify that. Two of the friends you have now will still be your best friends in five years, so don't mess that up?
That diet? Go for it, but stick to what you're thinking now. Cutting down food more than that will get dangerous, and it will get dangerous very quickly. If you find yourself there, people are looking out for you, listen to them when they tell you you don't need to get any thinner. With this, you have a chance to prevent something ahead of you that will be with you for years and possibly the rest of your life. Take that chance. If you don't, well, you hate hospitals don't you? You'll end up there. You don't just stay one night either, so watch yourself, okay?
Stop worrying that you're not interested in boys yet everyone else seems to be. You will be, and you'll meet someone you'll hold special to you for years to come. But, do realise there's a line, wake up and realise that point where he's messing you around, if you don't, it'll go on far too long and believe me it will do damage. It will be hard to accept, and don't let it push you over the edge, but things get better with time, I promise, don't lose your hope. The experience will teach you an important lesson. That guard you've always got up? Don't let it down, you live to regret that, over and over. Learn your bloody lesson, because if you don't all you get is more of what you're afraid of.
One last thing, enjoy being a kid, because at 13 you are, and life gets a lot more difficult.
Love Megan, at 18.
Jesus, I have a lot to say to myself. Oops.
In one of those moods at the moment ha.
13 year old me,
You're not in love with her stop thinking that NOW!
Start playing that guitar.
Don't take that picture of you with the smirnoff.
Don't listen to what people say.
Stop cutting seriously I'd be better of now if you did.
Cherish these years. You are happy now, but in the next few years you will go through hell. Hold onto the friends you have, do not stay friends with the people who hurt you..they will hurt you a lot more in the future.
It's okay, she will stop drinking..but please remember what it has done to her, because if you don't, in 5 years you will be going down the same path.
Learn to open up. No matter what they say, you don't need to hold everything in. They won't judge you. Let people help when you need it in the future. Don't be scared. Be happy with who you are.
In 5 years you will be a completely different person, and become everything you hated.
Do something now.
im sorry for what im going to put you through.
i wish i could change my past, your future...
but its too late now.
but i promise you that things will get better.
you'll meet someone amazing.
you do have a future however dark things are going to get.
i promise.
love my 17 year old self
ps. please eat that nutrigrain bar. you will save yourself soooooo much grief. your beautiful. please believe that. and tell granny how much you love her. she wont be there forever.
xx
[center]" I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside."
You're pretty. Your hair is fine. You're not horrendously obese. You know what you want and just go for it. Mother and Father are just going to hold you back, don't put trust in them. Father's going to get ill and make sure you can cope.
Please don't cut yourself. Please don't obsess over a few celebrities.
love from 17-year-old Sasuke
xx
i'd only come here seeking peace i'd only come here seeking me it seems i came to leave
Admit you have an ED, let them help you.
Stop thinking about everything that happened, none of it was your fault, okay?
Be prepared for more violence and pain, stay strong and you'll get through it.
Stop being nasty to everyone, stop doing sick, twisted things, its not gonna make anything better.
Learn to like yourself a bit, it might make it easier in the future.
I would say stop cutting and burning yourself, but I've never regretted it.
You won't be okay, but you still need to try.
Make them proud.
