I'm struggling with dissociation a lot at the moment, specifically losing time. Does anyone have ways of coping with that in particular?
I also feel a bit fed up because I'm not safe enough to discuss abuse in therapy yet, yet I have to cope with the memories and flashbacks every day. I don't know how I can cope without self-harm even though I'm trying to get it out of my life for good. Arg.
I can empathise with that. I've been losing time a lot recently too.
I find checking my watch/phone for the time frequently helps to reorient me.
I also find practicing mindfulness beneficial in preventing time loss.
I get that it's hard. We're just beginning to touch the surface and it's hard having to deal with the fallout with seemingly no support. Can you use ryl for support ? I know that's not much at times but it could be useful.
Or can you talk to your therapist about how you need more support? It may be that they just haven't thought properly.
Thank you J. I will try to keep an eye on the time and try more mindfulness techniques. It's just hard (as I'm sure you know), as being mindful kind of also means being more aware of memories/flashbacks and all the associated emotions. I feel quite angry actually because therapy puts the emphasis on ME to change and that's not fair. It just shouldn't have happened in the first place. My therapist is great and really validating, but it can be hard being told that I have to stop self-harming and that I can move forwards when my daily experience feels so far removed from that.
I will think about using RYL to share things. I'm not very good at opening up but this thread feels safe.
I'm so sorry to see so many people have suffered in so many ways. I struggle with the memory of almost 8 years of bullying in school which now leaves me struggling with s.h.
I hope everyone can find something to bring them some happiness or peace of mind and remember whatever happened to you is not your fault.
⚡️ Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light ⚡️
J, I'm sorry you're struggling so much at the moment. i'm glad your therapist is validating but i can unerstand how difficult it can be when you feel youre battling many things at once. has she been helpful in giving you ways to stop self harming while working n the past? With dissociaton wearing a watch is really helpful and i also try to keep a note telling me who i am and that ive dissociated etc if im confused. focusing on different senses is really helpful as well to stay focused. sorry im not really mcuh help.
anony mousey, im sorry youre finding it hard it sounds like a really difficult experience i hope you find this a safe place to talk.
lillie, it wasn't your fault at all lovely.
im really struggling at the moment the memories are too much and the dissociation is too often and i dont know how i feel about the past anymore sometimes ive been angry which scares me. i wish it wsnt so hard.
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said "I just don't care"?
Hannah (your profile says thats your name) sorry you are struggling so much. Do you know any grounding activities or things that can help you with the dissociation? I find strong flavoured food and strong smells to be the most useful. I think its okay to be angry about being hurt.
Thanks Lillie, yes strong flavoured food and smells really help me too and focusing on my senses, it's just difficult when I am dissociated to be able to bring myself round. Thank you so much.
How is everyone doing? I hope youre all okay xx
Would it be okay if I just posted something here? It feels safe and it's been a horrible day. I'm sorry to be so needy and post so often.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : non triggering but long and pointless
Today has been really really long and Ive dissociated so much it's so scary i don't remember the majority of the day and I don't remember having therapy, i've only just come around. But I discovered a note from my therapist and a cuddly toy she gave me, which I guess was really sweet of her. I've also found a prescription I didn't plan on getting. I'm feeling incredibly confused and my memory is really limited. I'm not sure how to help myself I'm trying to stay in the present but it's all a bit fuzzy.
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said "I just don't care"?
Do you know any warning signs? Triggers? Maybe after each one for a while you could write down what was going on before. See if theres a pattern. And sorry your day was hard. Be gente with yourself this evening.
I'm really struggling. Feel overwhelmed with dissociation and voicea.
Not having a good day. I had a nightmare and now I have a seething rage towards my ex for all he's done to ruin my life. I'm scared 24/7. Even in my sleep I can't escape him. He's an evil, sick monster that beat, drugged and raped me nearly every day. That so-called "mate" of mine is still blaming me, being a racist and saying that it's my fault that my ex abused me.
dbus, this 'mate' of yours doesn't sound a great person to be around. Do you ave a professional type person yo care explore your feeling with?
I'm still waiting on a referral to the psychological services ATM. This "mate" is evil. There isn't anyone really that I can talk to. I hate being gay, it's because I'm gay that it happened.
Sending you love and support J, I hope you're okay, thinking of you x
Lillie, I'm sorry you were struggling, are you feeling anymore settled today?
Thank you for the advice, sometimes I know my triggers which is really helpful so I can try toground myself. But yesterday I was dissociating on and off all day and it was difficult and confusing. My therapist wrote me a note to explain what happened which I'm really grateful for.
dbus, I'm sorry you are sruggling so much, it definitely wasn't your fault at all. I'm glad you have been referred, it's very unfortunate that these things seem to take a while. Do you think it's worth having this friend in your life if he seems to be making things worse? Take care of yourself.
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said "I just don't care"?
Not having a good day. I had a nightmare and now I have a seething rage towards my ex for all he's done to ruin my life. I'm scared 24/7. Even in my sleep I can't escape him. He's an evil, sick monster that beat, drugged and raped me nearly every day. That so-called "mate" of mine is still blaming me, being a racist and saying that it's my fault that my ex abused me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dbus-daemon
I just wish I could get rid of him but I don't know how to. Sometimes it feels like the entire world is against me.
It's not your fault. I want you to repeat that to yourself over and over. It's not your fault. You are the victim. Your ex abused you because they were bad, not because you were.
I know the feeling of the entire world being against you. but remember you have the support of us and you're being reffered which is great.
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I'm having some issues. I wrote an email to my therapist with some of the things I shared in this thread, and more detail about different experiences. I sent it, and she text me and was really supportive.
But I'm scared she's going to say it's my fault. Because I was too precocious or something. Or that because I liked one of the men who abused me I wanted it and It was my fault he raped me.
I don't know what to do. I can't unsend it. I see her Monday...
