I didnt know her at all but i think someone someone typed she was from teesside which i were i am. Surely she is still loverly you dont stop being loverly when your gone. For some reason i feel extremely angry at what i dont know but i am confused and bewildered . I really hope she is in a better place now .
I'm another old schooler although this is my new account, I never really spoke with Amy but a few times and she was very supportive and I saw her always reaching to support others over and above herself which gave me the knowledge she was a beautiful heart. I'm sad to hear this, I hope however she is finally at peace and I'm deeply sorry for the pain this will inflict on her loved ones and those who knew her well. For those of you on ryl I am very sorry and offer a listening ear and open pm box if you wish, be gentle, be kind to yourselves and remember the good memories and know you are not alone x
“There is no sun without shadow, and it is essential to know the night.”
In my thoughts she is in a happier place now x x dont mean that to sound wrong in anyway . Yes its upsetting she couldnt find happiness and feel settled here but i am just hoping she is as happy as cuddly chicken now. Its strange how you dont know people but if there from were your born you just feel a massive thing closeness for them , not to say just because people are miles away from me i still dont care for them deeply i really do x its strange. But i think what i will type next will need to be on a different thread.
is the funeral taking place where she lived or back in teesside?
It's far too up in the air to know at the moment. We know she wanted to be buried in Brighton, however at the end of the day, whether this wish shall be granted or not will ultimately up to her parents. My honest opinion is it will be up north. There is going to be an open inquest to her death, and her body won't be released until next week at the earliest, so we won't know for a while. But we're in frequent contact with both her Mum and her Dad's side of the family, so we're doing what we can.
Thank you all for your kind words, it's so warming to see all the love everyone had for her; if only she could have known this herself. Obviously to anyone that knew her at all, we had no shadow of a doubt this day would come. But it's still a shock, and we're all dealing with it in our own way. If any of you wish to PM me, feel free to, although I'm not around much, I'll try to stick around for a while. Take care of all yourselves, remember the good times xx
Wake me up before I change again
Remind me the story that I won't get insane
Tell me why it's always the same
Explain me the reason why I'm so much in pain.
I just hope shes smiling like a proper teessider x x wish i had of known you ami but from people on here i feel i did x my heart feels heavy x hardly know what to type x this site is a brilliant place but also feels hard but good as well i cannot express my thoughts clearly .
Is it really necessary for how she died to be on a public forum?
Her mother and I really didn't see eye to eye, and for that reason plus others I won't go into, I'll be paying my respects my own way in private.
I just miss her so much. There is no comfort to be taken from any death, but for what it's worth, she tried to get better harder than any other person I've ever seen or heard of. Her torment was so severe and so constant, this ultimately was most certainly what she wanted. She will forever be in my heart.
On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
Oh Ami, I dont know what to say but I remember all the conversations we had and its so sad.
I always think its very sad to hear of a death, especially on a site like this where death/wanting to die etc seems like such an everyday topic and yet when it happens its a total shock to everyone.
Sometimes people just cant get away from their demons, not matter how hard they fight....and boy did Ami fight for it. Its never going to be right to say that someone is better off not being here anymore, however there are some times when it seems that death is the more peaceful option for someone who is constantly under the weight of their demons.
Words dont seem enough to express how I feel, but I hope she knows that people loved her so very much and that was at least some comfort to her.
I didnt know Ami enough in real life to attend her funeral or anything like that, but I will pay my respects in my own way too.
I really do hope you're free Ami, I can't think of many people who deserve to be at peace as much as you do.
xx
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
I too will be paying my respects in my own way, and I can only agree with you Liv; no one deserves to finally be at peace more than Ami. Some people are inexplicably dealt terrible cards in life, but she won't ever be forgotten.
Dan, if there's anything you need, give me a shout. If you'd like me to design or make something for her, for you, when you're ready just ask, you know where I am.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
The truly sad thing in all of this was we were never ever able to convince Ami how well loved she actually was, AND as i said above she just wasnt able to accept that through HER efforts she helped so many people (ME INCLUDED) to get through OUR ILLNESSES She just couldnt understand that she had that gift, and be no doubt it was a gift, a gift that not many possess! Ami was so highly intelligent (but again she wouldnt believe this) she was highly talented in her art work (but again she wouldnt or maybey i should say because of her illnesses she Couldnt accept this) I have seen some of Ami's amazing artwork and i think it did help her a bit for distraction! Through the untimely passing of AMi we have lot a great artist a great friend, a wonderful human being AND someone who could have done so much in the science world, she was a really good uni student obtaining really good marks! We are all a lot poorer without Ami!
Hun do we know how it happened? I just hope it was quick and painfree for her I would hate to think of her struggling and being in pain.
Yes, we know how it happened. And no, I'm absolutely not going to post how it happened on a public forum. Just know regardless of how it happened, there would never have been a doubt in her mind that it was the right thing to do for her. I'll never forget her screaming her lungs out at me one time trying to get her to hospital after she poisoned herself. All she ever wanted was to die. I've never seen so much pain on a human's face in my life, it was practically imprinted on my eyelids for months after... And it makes me question whether I was cruel to force her into prolonging her life for so long, me and other friends down south took her to hospital so many times, tried so hard to help her. I just hope that she was able to appreciate every happy memory from then on. And we had some ****ing good times. It's hard to express how I'm feeling when people who weren't so close to her seem to be so much more emotional. It's making me feel like a ****ing fraud.
Wake me up before I change again
Remind me the story that I won't get insane
Tell me why it's always the same
Explain me the reason why I'm so much in pain.
Rockaroni, I don't think that makes you a fraud at all. You were close, you saw her struggle and her pain. That combined with grief would have an impact that maybe you're not ready to get 'emotional' yet (if that what needs to happen). Everyone reacts to death in their own unique ways, there is no right or wrong. I hope you're as okay as you can be, I'm so sorry for your loss.
What you wrote made me quite tearful, I'm sorry she was in so much pain and distress. It's just so unfair how life treats good people. I'm glad she's at peace now, she certainly deserves it.
(I really hope what I've said wasn't out of line).
Let us go then you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherized upon a table
- T.S. Elliot
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