It is sort of like that analogy, yes. Only in my case I was in 'work uncertainty limbo' and that took most of my emotional energy. Sort of having a self improvement sabbatical, lol!
startingagain, it might appear like emotional blackmail. But it is also a reaching out when one feels desperately lonely and feels that no one cares. It can feel terribly exposing to post about one's vulnerable, innermost feelings, that one can revert to various defensive reflexes when they feel rejected. I know sometimes I'm more effective at reframing that Borderline reaction and communicating in a more friendly way. It can be hard when all kinds of difficult feelings are present.
or ur really dumb or an incredible bitch! unfortunately i spent my time with u sometimes but i wont anymore. btw people with this type of mods here OF COURSE neither chat nor forum will work properly.
I literally don't understand this post, other than the first sentence.
Quote:
Originally Posted by squirrelspit
It was more of a subtle attempt, as i have told you approximately a million times before about the rules:
and yes you are right.. the usability of a forum is based on the 15 or so moderators, not the thousands of members.
Yes. Because the mods control everything. There's no such thing as self-policing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SORE
lol u left? ur only here caz mods are impartial otherwise u done many **** to have u banned. english is not my first language lol and no u never pm me (and if u have anything t say to me dont say behind my back yeah charlie). and left what u say means nothing to me. we are hijacking a thread so people say wtv u want.
I speak and read english very well, and I'm still confused about what you're saying. What I think you're saying is that she's only here because the mods are impartial, but I think you're also saying she's broken the rules too many times. If one is true, the other cannot be.
I don't understand!
Quote:
Originally Posted by squirrelspit
I think there has been quite a big turn around over the last few months of regular posters and those that are now the 'popular' members.. its always difficult to get back into the swing of things.
I guess its like being the most popular kid in your class and then being held back a year and not knowing anyone.
There will always be the members that have been here for years and years and have contributed more than a lot of the new folk will ever know, i think youre one of them Katie.
Katie, you're a very valued member of this website. For sure.
i think as well.. this is a forum with thousands of members.. hundreds of which post regularly.. it can be sort of a bit like.. he who shouts loudest gets the most attention.
which is a shame because a lot of people are shy by nature.. especially somewhere like this.
but.. the more involved everyone gets in the more general side of things.. or threads like this.. or.. anywhere on the site.. it can only improve the quality of support they will get because people will know how to respond to that person and what might cheer them up etc.
Not taking yourself too seriously goes a long way i think.
or ur really dumb or an incredible bitch! unfortunately i spent my time with u sometimes but i wont anymore. btw people with this type of mods here OF COURSE neither chat nor forum will work properly.
How dare you. Charlie is an immensely valued member of RYL who works so ****ing hard to keep everything running. And to be honest I'd be grateful that given the fact she's already warned you about your language that she only hinted that you need to rephrase, and didn't give you points, which she would have been within her rights to give.
Quote:
Originally Posted by squirrelspit
i would rather receive no replies than generic as fucck *hugs* and stuff.
If im posting for advice, i would rather get some advice.. even if its 'charlie man up and stop being such an emo'.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeaCulpa
Agreed. Getting 'hugs' and 'have a cuddle' replies (unless I've made a 'give me sympathy please' thread) make me feel worse... because i feel like i'm so ****ed up even fellow crazy folk can't help me.
Out of interest do you two mind the sort of 'I'm not in a place to give advice but just wanted you to know I care' response? I don't want to keep doing that if it makes things worse rather than better?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keyboard Warrior
Would you like me to pick up your toys & put them back in your pram for you?
How DARE you go around insulting the mods that spend their time with YOUR type of people, voluntarily, so YOU can enjoy a supportive website such as this. With YOUR type of people, neither chat nor forum will work properly.
I love you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeaCulpa
Everyone has opinions darling. Doesn't mean they are right, polite or even smart.
JodiE have I ever told you just how amazing you are?
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
Eccentrics, I can see you've tried to play a part in the community and that is great. I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling you get the response to threads you need, but maybe instead of deleting them you should try as Katy said to let members know you need help - either linking it in the threads you hang out in, or bumping it with a reply asking for suggestions. I do hope you're able to continue to ask for support and I'm sure people will keep an eye out for you too :)
To the point, a lot of the time I'm worried about starting up a thread or posting on one (even this has got me a bit on the apprehensive side) just because I'm worried people will judge me on what I type/say.
I agree with what few people are saying though, if you find you do need help and nobody is replying to your thread a wee pm to someone you do know won't hurt anybody.
And SORE, if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all. I'm sure someone i.e. a family member, a teacher has somewhere down your existence said that to you. I was genuinely wondering who "caz" was too.
Out of interest do you two mind the sort of 'I'm not in a place to give advice but just wanted you to know I care' response? I don't want to keep doing that if it makes things worse rather than better??
i do not mind this at all from anyone that i actually thought genuinely gave half a crap.
Out of interest do you two mind the sort of 'I'm not in a place to give advice but just wanted you to know I care' response? I don't want to keep doing that if it makes things worse rather than better?
It's fine when you do ti because I know you... and its like having a friend 'there' who says, 'i'm here you need'... and its comforting because they *know* what you'r going through and have been there for the long haul and have kept supporting you. When its some random person saying it, I get annoyed because I feel like i'm beyond help.
Quote:
JodiE have I ever told you just how amazing you are?
i do not mind this at all from anyone that i actually thought genuinely gave half a crap.
:)
I hope I'm one of those?
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeaCulpa
It's fine when you do ti because I know you... and its like having a friend 'there' who says, 'i'm here you need'... and its comforting because they *know* what you'r going through and have been there for the long haul and have kept supporting you.
Goodo, just because I realised I do that a lot with people like you, Zed, and so and so forth when I can't reply 'properly.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
And, re the brief, caring replies. I appreciate it too. It's like, I work through the tough stuff in therapy. I'm really good at analysing my own feelings and thoughts most of the time. Mostly what I need when I post on a public forum for support is to feel less alone with what I'm going through, and to know that people are there who care and understand. To know people are out there who see me and hear me and don't judge me and hate me and such like.
Out of interest do you two mind the sort of 'I'm not in a place to give advice but just wanted you to know I care' response? I don't want to keep doing that if it makes things worse rather than better??
Quote:
Originally Posted by squirrelspit
i do not mind this at all from anyone that i actually thought genuinely gave half a crap.
its like having a friend 'there' who says, 'i'm here you need'... and its comforting because they *know* what you'r going through and have been there for the long haul and have kept supporting you. When its some random person saying it, I get annoyed because I feel like i'm beyond help.
I find it a particular problem on the serious board as there seems to be a group within there whose problems appear to be classified as serious, woe is me, I am going to kill myself and get many replies whereas those who don't frequent the board and only do so in a time of need tend to get fewer replies which irks me. Sorry, that was the longest sentence ever.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
To the point, a lot of the time I'm worried about starting up a thread or posting on one (even this has got me a bit on the apprehensive side) just because I'm worried people will judge me on what I type/say.
I agree with what few people are saying though, if you find you do need help and nobody is replying to your thread a wee pm to someone you do know won't hurt anybody.
And SORE, if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all. I'm sure someone i.e. a family member, a teacher has somewhere down your existence said that to you. I was genuinely wondering who "caz" was too.
lol i said what i thought... now people are the one being nasty.. which is must on this site..
Eccentrics, I can see you've tried to play a part in the community and that is great. I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling you get the response to threads you need, but maybe instead of deleting them you should try as Katy said to let members know you need help - either linking it in the threads you hang out in, or bumping it with a reply asking for suggestions. I do hope you're able to continue to ask for support and I'm sure people will keep an eye out for you too :)
Thankyou :) I just always feel like people will get annoyed with me and think I'm whiny and attention seeking if I bump a thread.
(By the way, sorry that I'm not replying to every single comment here, I'm getting confused about who is writing in response to who.)
To the point, a lot of the time I'm worried about starting up a thread or posting on one (even this has got me a bit on the apprehensive side) just because I'm worried people will judge me on what I type/say.
I agree with what few people are saying though, if you find you do need help and nobody is replying to your thread a wee pm to someone you do know won't hurt anybody.
The thing is: I don't really know anybody on here, because I'm a generally shy person and I find it hard and nerve-racking to start conversation with people I don't know (Due to social phobia). I talk to one or two people on here, neither of which I do often, and I'll feel like a pest if I ask for help from them.
Because I find it hard to talk to people, not many know me. Because of this, I have the problem here: that I don't get many replies. I understand it's not going to change, though. In fact, I can't even remember what I was thinking / hoping for when I started this thread.
I'm really sorry everyone, I know this thread has caused a lot of trouble.
