my daignosis just struggling with it
got told i have recurrent depression as well as neurological development delay caused by childhood trauma
but did i really suffer trauma?
also they reckon i will need inpatient care at some point during my life as the depression will never completely go
just feel sucky
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
Jo, we both know you most definiely experienced trauma as a kid.
You may or may not need inpatient care at some point; try to take it one day at a time hun.
You're strong Jo, or you wouldn't still be here. <3
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
I know you don't feel strong, but to have come through everything you have been through and still be a loving, kind person means you are. You could have easily allowed the abuse you have been through to make you bitter, hostile, etc or abuse others yourself. You haven't done that. That shows strength.
No one said you are never going to be better. They just said your depression is recurrant and you may at some point need inpatient care- at the end of which, if it ever occurrs, you would most likely be much better.
*hugs*
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
thats what it feels like they saying tho
i am evil through and through
im sorry
so much going on in my head with this and mum and dad have put their worries on me and 2 lovely people in hospital who are such good friends
i shouldnt be bothered im nothing im not suffering really so why am im being pathetic
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
Not evil hun. Not at all. You've had evil things done to you and are struggling because of that. Theyre just giving you a diagnoses and a possible situation that may occur. Bleh sorry your mum and dad put their worries on you, thats not your place as the child. Youre not being pathetic. Hang in there.
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
i cant deal with what parents told me
i told therapist about it
said it was making things harder
made her worry about me
im so bad
shouldnt make people feel worried
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
youre not bad
its your therapists job to help you, she cares, i dont like people worrying about me either btu if the person is worrying that means they care and thats good
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
mum just came and offloaded more on me
she scares me when she does that
have to be careful to do or say right thing
keeps going on about how my dad is attention seeking and how she never gets to have sympathy and she has an illness etc
know its selfish but she never thinks about me being ill
even after od attempts she just expected me to get on with life
sorry
im selfish
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
they dont see me as ill
if i say im tired its wrong
im not allowed to be
get told im not the only one
its not like im saying im the only one but its like im not allowed
or if i say i dont feel great again its the same
so i keep smiling
keep the mask up
but it hurts
hurts so much trying to be ok
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
*snuggles* i know it hurts
not many words, keep posting if its helpin you hun
your parents are self-centered and buncha other things i could say too
try not to let what they think of you be what you think of you
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
I'm sorry you're having to deal with so much, with the diagnoses and then your Mom dumping more stuff on you. Can you do something nice for yourself today? Maybe go out for a bit to have a break for a little while?
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
