Jack she already realises that this wasn't the best plan. I realise this wasn't the best plan. But berating someone about that who is already beating themselves up isn't in my opinion constructive. I think what happened was lesson enough, for both myself and JodiE. And as previously said time and time again, regardless of the situation, No Means No. No consent=Rape, Rape=one of the most terrible and both emotionally and physically violating things one human being can do to another. Regretting him coming up to the room is not going to change the fact that in the here and now JodiE is trying to work through a traumatic event.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
Jodie it is okay to not know what to say and you don't need to feel like you need to talk constantly about how you are feeling unless that is what you want but it is a good idea to keep busy and focus on something to give your mind a chance to heal.
It doesn't matter what you did leading up to it at the end of the day no means no and if someone does not accept that or cannot control themselves that is not your fault and you shouldn't have had to go through that.
^ He wasn't a friend :( I didn't know him before that night.
I know I was feeling... low... after my boyfriend left me. And it was nice to have someone interested in me. But I said I didn't want sex. I wasn't bothered about the other stuff but I said *no* to sex, before we even went upstairs, and when we were there, and when he did it, and after, and again and again. But did being okay with the other stuff mean that I had no right to say no to the sex? I sort of feel like doing one thing... maybe I did just deserve it because I did the first thing.
Jack she already realises that this wasn't the best plan. I realise this wasn't the best plan. But berating someone about that who is already beating themselves up isn't in my opinion constructive. I think what happened was lesson enough, for both myself and JodiE. And as previously said time and time again, regardless of the situation, No Means No. No consent=Rape, Rape=one of the most terrible and both emotionally and physically violating things one human being can do to another. Regretting him coming up to the room is not going to change the fact that in the here and now JodiE is trying to work through a traumatic event.
Wha..? I didn't berate anyone. Jodi posted "Why me..Why? What did do? What is it about me? ". Since she said her friends didn't get in any troubles it sounded as if she thought something was wrong with her. So I answered her question and I saw the situation as more due to naivete and vulnerability than any deep psychic reason. I didn't say no doesn't mean no and I didn't excuse rape. I know rape is terrible and because of that I know to be aware of people and situations. Fair to say If I was there nothing would have happened because I would have been on the look-out - especially since I know what kind of state Ms MeaCulpa has been in the last weeks.
I promise you this was not your fault. It doesn't matter if you had been doing stuff before hand or not, you said no to sex. It wouldn't even matter if you had said yes to sex and then changed your mind, the minute you say no, nobody has a right to touch you.
I can only imagine how awful you're feeling right now, please try to stay as safe as you possibly can. I think it would be a good idea for you to go to the Samaritans and talk about what happened to you. Please remember you can get through this, you do not need to OD and you do not need to cut, or hurt yourself in any way.
JodMum, I cannot wait to see you again(thank you SO much again for what you did for me), you are goddamn wonderful and I wish I could hunt this *no word for someone like that* down.
But I can't.
So, for now, I want you to try and keep grounding yourself, to try and keep yourself safe, and to try and keep on talking to people, talk to me, talk to my Wifey, talk to Katy, talk to all your friends who you trust and are close to.
You've got tonight, then tomorrow, and then one more night until you go away, can you think of anything that will help you get through the next two nights sweety?
There is nothing wrong with you, it's him. NOT you. It's never anyones fault for any kind of abuse, please try to remind yourself of that, because it's 100% true.
Be gentle with yourself, do things that help soothe you, maybe a bubble bath, put some candles on that smell nice, watch fav movies/tv shows, cuddling something you feel is safe to you ie; something soft, teddy bear, a nice and warm blanket, a pillow, or you could hold a hot water bottle?
I really really hope you stay as safe as possible, if you feel unable to keep yourself safe, please go to A&E.
BBM/Text/PM/Message on FB, etc, whenever, day, night - from both me & my Wifey.
Love you so much JodMum.
<3 xxxx
Last edited by Tears and Rain : 18-04-2011 at 10:51 AM.
Reason: Removing reference to deleted post.x
I went to the samaritans today... the walk in place. The lady was really nice, but not very helpful. I don't think she knew what to say to me. She and her supervisor said I could stay the weekend as I was in crisis and not safe. I can't stay someplace unfamiliar for too long or I get paranoid.
I feel strange. Like my head and body are not connected. And everything is bright and loud. And nothing is real or in time. And I"m not there. And Iv'e gone really rational. I have perfectly justifiable reasons for wanting to die.
I have A&E to go to. And I feel I should be there because I keep looking at my pills. And I know rationally it's the right thing to do. I don't know what part of the sentence that refers to though - if it's right to go to hospital, or right to die. I'm scared of hurting people, but I don't want to live anymore.
They will promise. Unless they are complete and utter douches, which is more unlikely than you'd think. Remember last time you were pleasantly surprised by hospital? Probably will be same situation.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
