Yes some rants are going into the pro side of things
BUT It's supposed to be our space, how WE feel,
RYL really shouldn't be a place where we have to think about what were typing but sadly in the last year we have to do this to "protect" people
R/V People know to stay clear if they feel they're likely to get "triggered" We do not need to protect people. It doesn't matter whether its * calories or *** calories...
But of course mods don't back dwn once they've made something... Even if this is a total step too far...
I am now not going to use this account as my main one from now on.
If you want my new account PM me. xxx
Laura I disagree with the last bit. My rant thread was re-edited by them on one instance where I described how I felt about something and the word I used re-instated.
I don't think in the long run I am bothered about the */x thing. I will get used to writing one, and for further clarification, I accepted the no numbers thing, and never wrote digits or NEEDED to at any point, I can put them in my private journal if I so desire [and have only used numbers in them ONCE], so I hardly think its fair to assume I NEEDED to use numbers or was saying I wished to.
I guess I felt the cumulative effect of the new rules being edited for 2 different things, one of which I really feel isn't glamorising considering the R&V has an enter at your own risk warning, no more labels at the assumption everything will be triggering etc.
Shauna explained what I think I tried to say earlier. Really well. There are parts of RYL for people in recovery and nothing remotely pro is aloud, then are are and should be parts where you have a chance to learn to protect yourself more and can write what your feeling graphically.
I think its good to have a bit of a range for people in all stages of recovery. I suppose I just thought, more restrictions... so where will this end up? Because like a lot of people, clearly, they don't feel able to use R&V any more.
Personally, I can deal with the x's thing, but with the "glamorising" I don't even know where I stand. I don't know if my rants are considered "glamorising", I try not to.
I avoid other people's rants if I feel unsafe or down as I know it will just trigger me, or close it as soon as I start feeling triggered. I feel it should be the reader's responsibility, not the ranter's.
Yes some rants are going into the pro side of things
BUT It's supposed to be our space, how WE feel,
RYL really shouldn't be a place where we have to think about what were typing but sadly in the last year we have to do this to "protect" people
R/V People know to stay clear if they feel they're likely to get "triggered" We do not need to protect people. It doesn't matter whether its * calories or *** calories...
But of course mods don't back dwn once they've made something... Even if this is a total step too far...
I don't see how this is a step too far, tbh? It's clarifying rules that are already in place. And from experience, I have seen situations where the mods have reconsidered rules or whatevs that are in place, if it has proven to be unhelpful.
I highly doubt that this was done just for kicks. There's clearly been some sort of issue having arisen, which the mods are trying to do something pro-actively to change. In my experience as a mod, the actions we took we pretty much always took either as a result of popular/public opinion, or issues that had arisen.
And personally, I think it's pretty selfish to think that one should be able to do what one likes on this site, regardless of rules and of the effect on other people. The fact is, RYL is attempting to be a safe site. If you want to post whatever you like, there are other places for that. RYL isn't supposed to be a free-for-all (not even on the R&V board).
And I don't really know what has been done in the last year that has drastically changed R&V. I mean, there've been gradual changes to the board but I don't think it's moved drastically one way or another.
RYL isn't perfect - but it isn't trying to be. Ultimately, on a site where SI is the norm there is going to be an element of normalising SI, and I think it is unhealthy. If the mods are trying to do good things to make a potentially dangerous website less dangerous, I think that's a good thing.
Nobody is saying that you can't post anywhere on the internet (or even real life) about anything. But (at the risk of being boring and repeating myself) RYL is not, and shouldn't be, your only form of support.
But of course mods don't back dwn once they've made something... Even if this is a total step too far...
This is blantantly untrue. You only have to see the 'what are you wearing today' thread that got reinstated.
I wish people wouldnt make this widly untrue statements because other people actually listen to it and take it as fact :|
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
The...ED forum rules are there because the members want them there.
Quote:
As I have said before, and doubtlessly will have to say again, again, and again. RYL is not real life. RYL is a safe place. Our priority is keeping members safe. The rules are there to keep members safe. Therefore, rules must be adhered to.
Quote:
You can please everyone some of the time, some people all of the time, but nenver everyone all of the time
(Y)
"I would be almighty in my own world of art, even if I had to paint my pictures with my wet tongue on the dusty floor of my cell." -Picasso
"No, painting is not done to decorate apartments. It is an instrument of war." - Picasso
'I have scars becuase I have a past; but they, like my past, do not define my future'
Nobody is saying that you can't post anywhere on the internet (or even real life) about anything. But (at the risk of being boring and repeating myself) RYL is not, and shouldn't be, your only form of support.
100% agree. RYL exists as an aid to professional support.
And, as ever, can people please remember that the moderating team (and indeed all of the staff teams) here on RYL joined as members for the exact same reasons you did. We dont get paid, we do this alongside our "real life" lives because we want to. I'm not moaning, I love helping out on RYL but I think people forget we're volunteers half of the time. We're just trying to make RYL the best it can be, and everything we do is with your best interests in mind. We dont do anything just for the hell of it, everything is discussed and carefully considered.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
You cant blame other people for coming into your thread and being triggered, because they knew the R&V forum can get triggering. If that were the case, RYL would have no rules whatsoever, because it's a self injury site and is therefore triggering full stop. This is a recovery site, we need rules, people need to be protected from triggers (though not all, I agree) or else this site is not serving its purpose.
How can you say that this site is in itself 'triggering' (being a self-harm site and all) but then people also need to be protected from these triggers? How does that even work? Being triggering and being pro are two different things.
I have never understood the "safe" nature of RYL to mean "free of material that may upset you", but as a place where people are made welcome and not judged because of their actions.
I don't know what is going to upset someone when they read my rant, and so it is impossible for me to get out my feelings whilst censoring anything that could be deemed triggering or glamourising. I have seen many, many posts throughout this site that I feel personally glamourise a behaviour, but others might not perceive it that way. I have also seen loads of posts glamourising illegal and potentially dangerous activies, yet that seems to be okay.
100% agree. RYL exists as an aid to professional support.
And, as ever, can people please remember that the moderating team (and indeed all of the staff teams) here on RYL joined as members for the exact same reasons you did. We dont get paid, we do this alongside our "real life" lives because we want to. I'm not moaning, I love helping out on RYL but I think people forget we're volunteers half of the time. We're just trying to make RYL the best it can be, and everything we do is with your best interests in mind. We dont do anything just for the hell of it, everything is discussed and carefully considered.
I'm sorry if it seems like I was b*tching and moaning, I just don't want to have to stop myself midway through a rant and alter it all. It just feels like I'm supressing my own feelings But I'm just going to carry on as I am unless someone mentions something to me about my rants.
I understand that you guys might feel like we're all having a go at you, but we aren't.
Claire: I think the whole safe vs triggering thing has always been a bit badly worded. I see it as they're trying to make the place as safe as possible, but still realise that some things will be triggering to some people. We cannot be 100% bubble wrapped. You can't know every little thing that triggers everyone, so people will still be triggered. However, they can try to remove the big, obvious triggers, and those are the kinds of things people have been PMing the mods about.
Life is about love, last minutes and lost evenings,
About fire in our bellies and furtive little feelings,
And the aching amplitudes that set our needles all a-flickering,
And help us with remembering that the only thing that's left to do is live.
It's one of those things, Claire, where it is hard - obviously - but from my experience, things that are outrightly triggering and glamourising are pretty obvious. Obviously there are grey areas - and in that case, it comes down to community response and taking an executive decision. And, if you post something in a rant that is pretty obvious that you posted it without intending to be pro, or if it is a grey area, it probably won't be held against you. But there are areas that are pretty obviously triggering, and where people either haven't thought about what they're posting or are posting it to make a point. Obviously there are always grey areas. But you get some members, and some posts, that are so obviously geared in one direction it's concerning.
With the situations you've mentioned, Claire, do you ever report them? The mods rely on members to highlight where things break the rules. It's normally this, the seeing a trend in people reporting certain things, that leads to rules being made. It's far more of a bottom-up model than I think people realise. But - in saying that - there have been situations in which people have reported things that are just so obviously a step too far, and the mods haven't done anything about that. Granted, it was a few years ago that I was a mod but I think that there was definitely a centre ground. Half the community wanted more words and terms to be banned, the other half thought that it was already too strict. People want different things out of RYL and it is hard to balance them all. I'm not saying, obvs, that the mods are always right - but I do think it is hard when you're being pulled in both ways simultaneously.
I do agree with the confusion re: 'safety' of RYL (although I think that is in part due to a lack of ideology. It's quite hard to identify what RYL's 'aims' are, and I think because it's 'community led', there's no clear aim or definition. It's not always a bad thing, but it does mean that there is confusion re: what terms mean or what we're wanting RYL to be).
I'm sorry if it seems like I was b*tching and moaning, I just don't want to have to stop myself midway through a rant and alter it all. It just feels like I'm supressing my own feelings But I'm just going to carry on as I am unless someone mentions something to me about my rants.
Claire: I think the whole safe vs triggering thing has always been a bit badly worded. I see it as they're trying to make the place as safe as possible, but still realise that some things will be triggering to some people. We cannot be 100% bubble wrapped. You can't know every little thing that triggers everyone, so people will still be triggered. However, they can try to remove the big, obvious triggers, and those are the kinds of things people have been PMing the mods about.
That's what I feel as well. I don't stop and think "Oh, will this trigger someone? I'd better delete it just in case." Not only would it stop my mental flow, it makes it so that some things might just be too taboo to post here.
A self-harm site that also deals with eating disorders, suicide, abuse, etc cannot in any way make itself "safe". I'm sorry but it can't. How can anyone discuss any of these topics in a completely non-triggering way to everyone? No, I'm not saying there shouldn't be rules, but that we should clarify what is "safe". It's such a nebulous word. Everyone knows what this site is about and if you are in a mental place where you cannot deal with something then you don't read R&V. I never read Serious because it brings up too many painful feelings. I take responsibility for that. I'm not going to stop anyone discussing suicide because I feel upset by it.
Maybe it is just me being dense, but I just don't get it.
Jo, yep, like I've said I'm having difficulty with the grey areas. The obvious posts can be clear, and to be frank I've seen more and more 'pro' posts throughout the site as a whole which I tend not to report (unless there are numbers or other clear rule-breaks) and try to challenge it within a thread. On rants I tend not to report it because I'm not totally sure they are breaking any rule.
I want to know if it is possible for someone to rant about an eating disorder and their feelings without appearing to glamourise it? Especially if that person is not ready to recover from it?
Last edited by The One Who : 02-01-2011 at 03:46 PM.
But what is glamorising? What would I write that would be glamorising? (genuinely not certain :P).
Like. I often say, 'oh I've lost weight, oh good, good, get lower( or whatever) and that's the voice in my head I"m trying to get out. But could that be glamorising? Because I"m writing it as a good thing?
I wish we could give you the examples of the stuff we've removed.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Maybe be triggering SI, lolz
Think of someone saying ' I cut, I watched lovingly as the beautiful blood dripped slowly out of me, at the same time thinking about the fantastic high i'm going to get later from the xxx tons of drugs i have stashed in my drawer. I love destruction, it is so beautiful. The pain from the cut makes me so happy, it is brilliant' then make it 1000 times more flowery/romantic etc.
or soemthing equally rediculous.
"I would be almighty in my own world of art, even if I had to paint my pictures with my wet tongue on the dusty floor of my cell." -Picasso
"No, painting is not done to decorate apartments. It is an instrument of war." - Picasso
'I have scars becuase I have a past; but they, like my past, do not define my future'
I wish we could give you the examples of the stuff we've removed.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Maybe be triggering SI, lolz
Think of someone saying ' I cut, I watched lovingly as the beautiful blood dripped slowly out of me, at the same time thinking about the fantastic high i'm going to get later from the xxx tons of drugs i have stashed in my drawer. I love destruction, it is so beautiful. The pain from the cut makes me so happy, it is brilliant' then make it 1000 times more flowery/romantic etc.
But what is glamorising? What would I write that would be glamorising? (genuinely not certain :P).
Like. I often say, 'oh I've lost weight, oh good, good, get lower( or whatever) and that's the voice in my head I"m trying to get out. But could that be glamorising? Because I"m writing it as a good thing?
Don't worry, I don't know either.
The only significant thing I noticed about that example is that it is using flowerly language to describe what the majority of rants contain. For example, I enjoy me destructive behaviours at the time because of the effect they have on me. I wouldn't want anyone else to think that they were a good coping mechanism or a good path to go down.
You could always like..write it on a piece of paper or in a Word document or something..then you don't have to censor anything. If we took the censors off now, there'd be a lot more people complaining that they're triggered by it than those who complain it's not 'open' enough or whatever.
I'm gonna tap him like a maple tree. I'm gonna search him for some syrups. I'm gonna be having sex with him.
It sounds to me like some members feel like they're being asked to re-read their rants before they post it to consider other peoples feelings. I get that that probably isn't what you're going to want to do because then, like, Annaberry said, it's almost like supressing you're feelings. I get that. I understand completely and agree that you shouldn't have to suppress how you're feeling for the sake of other people when it would be their choice to read your rant thread in the first place.
A couple of people have said that they've been her since Ruin and although I haven't been here that long! (4 years with different usernames) I can see how the R&V thread has changed.
As Jodie said, what is glamourising? Where is the line between being descriptive about your experiences / behaviours and then just being over the top? I think Purple Rain had it down to a tee with her description of what could be deemed as 'glamourising' and it's sad to say that I've seen that sort of material over a number of threads in the R&V forum..
I'm not sure what the end of this thread is going to accumulate to or what the out come is going to be but there clearly is a divide between opinions here..
![[LittleMonster]'s Avatar](image.php?s=ace5a3b71fb127a5e0a552f1334934f0&u=13847&dateline=1376481098)
![[Purple_Rain]'s Avatar](image.php?s=ace5a3b71fb127a5e0a552f1334934f0&u=153&dateline=1251793099)
But I'm just going to carry on as I am unless someone mentions something to me about my rants. 
