^There is no such things as a "fake cutter". Your pain is real. I've been out of school for a week, and it feels great. Just hang in there, do your best, and then you won't have to stand in front of the class or take a test for a few months.
I finally told my parents about my possible anemia -- how I'm dizzy and tired all the time, etc. I didn't tell them that I think the reason is my self injury (they don't know), but my dad wants to get a doctor's appointment as soon as possible, and I'm really feeling anxious about it.
Do what you love to do, and you'll never work another day in your life.
It'll be okay. This sounds a bit sly, but if you don't want your dad to go in, tell him it's to do with periods or something (I assume you're female :]), I don't think he'd follow you in after that really. I've been to the Drs about similar things, it's their job to look after you and treat you, not interrogate you and things.
---
I'm having a lot of trouble concentrating, i'm going on quite a few trips at school in the next few weeks. I'm going to Auschwitz/Birkenau and I completely forgot to go to the meeting about it last week. I'm forgetting everything and huge chunks of my days are just disappearing...
Piper - does anyone know you're struggling with this? it would be a good idea if your doctor and tutor knew about it, so they can help you. the only thing i can think of is writing eveything down in one place, but that won't help with losing bits of your day.
oh hey tamobhuuta, posting without any struggle of your own! get you all good and happy XD
i feel fat at the moment XD not that i have any ED, and im not really skinny or really fat. im probably just under average. its just that some of my old jeans dont fit anymore, and i eat too much and exercise too little. its hard to change that, and its just a bleh im such a piggy feeling
So if you wanna burn yourself remember that I love you
And if you wanna cut yourself remember that I love you
And if you wanna kill yourself remember that I love you
Call me up before you're dead
We can make some plans instead
Send me an IM, I'll be your friend Kimya Dawson - Loose Lips - Juno Soundtrack
Awwww, tamobhuuta. I hate it when things are going well and then suddenly your mood plummets. Perhaps you can have a night just relaxing and treating yourself tonight and help yourself get back to revision tomorrow. Also, getting things back to how they were just seems a tall order. Maybe you could focus upon the little things in life right now and sooner or later, they'll have built into a whole big thing and you won't even realised it was happening ;)
I feel a bit lousy and really very fat. I wish I hadn't eaten so much today and I kind of want to hurt myself but I don't at the very same time. Suicidal feelings are hard to keep fighting.
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Shine - Feeling fat sucks, doesn't it?
I'm sure you're not actually fat though, you may just feel a bit bloated, but it'll pass, don't worry (: whenever I feel bloated Ayka wants to purge but I stop her, and it passes.
I know what you mean about the suicidal feelings, they suck too ): the thing with self harm and suicide urges is that you have to acknowledge that they're there, because if you try and block them out then they come back stronger and harder to pass.
--------------------------------
I'm still feeling rubbish... My Mum had a huge go at me last night, said I wasn't helping myself and that she didn't know how to help me, wondered what the point of my therapy was, didn't know how to cope with me and said that sometimes she feels like she wants to go to sleep and never wake up because of me.
She's apologised loads, but it still really hurts and now I don't trust her at all and can't look her in the eye.
And I just keep wondering why I can't get a boyfriend... I've been single for about 2 years, and it's really getting to me... Am I just that incapable?
At least she apologized. :) I'm sure you'll be able to forgive her, maybe in a week, or two weeks.
I don't have much experience with relationships (I've never had one), but I'm sure there are boys who like you, but they are probably too shy to tell you. ;)
--
I'm so nervous. I've got to do a presentation for French today. In French. And my French sucks really badly. Dx
A hand above the water / An angel reaching for the sky
Is it raining in heaven - Do you want us to cry?
IntoxicatedRainbow -- I'm excellent at French, I wish I could help you out :). Good luck with the presentation!
---
Just having some mild urges. Went to buy Father's Day cards and then wandered around the store, looking for sharps. I'll be okay, I'm just having trouble finding reasons to stop altogether. It seems harmless, compared to my other unhealthy habits. But whatever.
My name is Matt, and I am a boy. Feel free to PM me :)
I have learned that the world is not a safe place. Not at all. But there are so many people who love me and want to keep me safe. And that is enough.
Distract yourself, don't give in to the urges.
I know finding reasons can be so difficult, but just think of all the positive reasons to stop. Hoped that made sense.
I went to see a counsellor for the first time, I felt the session went ok well better than what I expected, but one of things that bothered me was that she used hand gestures to gesture self harm, like she kept using her hand to indicate cutting with her arm. I found it really inappropriate and insensitive as it made me feel nauseous every time she did, am I wrong to feel this way?
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
IsSheWeird - It's not surprising you felt insensitive to this motion, everyone who self harms feels insensitive to different aspects of the way others talk about self harm. For example I don't like it when people call it "cutting" because it makes it sound so harsh and though the people who are doing it don't have emotions.
----------------
I was diagnosed with BPD today, the psychiatrist printed off some things on Wikipedia of it and asked me to see if I fit the criteria. We both thought I did.
But then he went on to say that he wouldn't doubt that I could become a full-time psychiatric patient, but then said that I didn't need anymore therapy so I'm now therapyless.
To be honest I didn't feel ready to go, but I respected his decision because he was on the ball. I'm just going to see how things go...
