“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
The next day I awoke sore and indescribably angry with myself. Peeling back blood soaked layers I scrutinised the damage done, trying hard to convince myself that the scars and mutilations were worth it for the momentary spark of life and happiness that ensued. With a sigh I replaced the coverings and set about preparing myself for the day, running a brush haphazardly through my hair and carefully selecting a shirt and jumper baggy enough to hide the layers.
Arriving at school I forced a smile and slid into my usual seat in the school library, fighting to act as though I was as excited as the rest about a party a friend Val was organising for the following night. I smiled and smiled until my cheeks ached, discussed outfits and ice cream, films and fun until I was blue in the face. Eventually I was released from the conversation by the form bell and hurried off, finally letting my face fall into familiar frown lines.
I was sure that this party would do nothing to improve my mood. Nothing helped besides self destruction. Subtly I reached for my left arm and gave the cuts a hard squeeze, a small reminder of my only island in the storm.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter
It may not be pleasant ; but it's always possible - Brian Molko ♥
I was filled with incoherence .Theories of conspiracy .The whole world wants my disappearance, I'll go fighting nail and teeth .You've never seen such perseverance .Gonna make you scared of me,'Cause haemoglobin is the key - Placebo♥
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
There's more than one island; you just have to look.
The day of the party dawned bright and blue, the improvement in the weather giving in my gloomy soul a small boost. I indulged in a larger than usual breakfast and savoured every mouthful, following soft white sandwiches with a comforting mug of steaming tea.
I spent the day relaxing and unwinding, moving only to prepare food and to investigate an outfit for the event that night. Eventually 6 o’clock ticked round and grabbing my camera and my trademark green trilby as my contribution to the multi colour theme of the party, I went to collect Jake, ready for the walk over to Val’s house.
Upon arrival we were greeted with smiles and laughter by Shirley, Val and Amelia and soon burst out laughing ourselves as we viewed the small cactus plants that Val had bought and decorated to present to us all as ‘friendship awards’. In Jake’s overexcitement he managed to attack himself with his cactus and afterwards left the plant at a safe distance from any of his limbs. I kept mine close, reading the message over and over: ‘Most spontaneous.’ The simple little message tugged my lips into a small smile every time I saw it.
The evening was beginning to look up. Maybe, I thought as I watched my friends fighting over slices of pizza and joking about getting drunk on Bailey’s ice cream, maybe I could be happy without self destruction after all.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
