Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
hollz im about if u wanna pm me! I cant sleep at all x
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
It certainly is one of those days, I aint having no luck so far. Firstly, I get a letter from the doctor saying there is an issue with my thyroid but they have missed a bit out, so there limited info there - meaning I will need to go in and ask, and well I just wanna go to the bloody gym! No mention of that there.
Next! How annoying is it when you run a bloody bath and its cold, why is there no hot water, its like 1.30 and nobody will have been in the bath today.
I have my cpn at 3, need to see the gp, need to go to the chemist and hand in my guarantor stuff.
I am still sitting in my pjs after the night from hell, and now its stupid but I didn't wanna have a shower, but after the last 12 hours, I can't leave the house without having a wash :S#
This is why I get annoyed they don't let you keep a few tablets for emergencies, like all normal people. I nearly got up about 3am and walked to the hospital to plead for some medicine, but I didn't as I know they weren't forthcoming the last time this happened.
Sorry, random moaning mode - just ignore me.
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
I saw my SW this morning and she has gone through my work capability form with me that I need to fill in for the ESA peeps and has told me the type of things I need to include. In addition, she has arranged to meet me next Wed so that she can take me to the Wellbeing Centre - I just looked at the latest newsletter and they have all kinds of groups and activities so hopefully I will be able to join one of them to give me something to fill my time with.
I went to see the disability employment advisor who was really nice. She has referred me to a local provider who will apparently contact me in the next couple of weeks to set up a meeting. The provider will find me a suitable unpaid work placement which will be really flexible re hours, being able to get in etc. The placement will last for around 6 weeks. Then, if it goes ok and I am still wanting to work and am well enough, they will help me find part-time paid work but it will be supported so that there will be someone checking on how things are going.
So, I am not going to put pressure on myself to find work, I am going to follow their programme which will hopefully work better than me being thrown in at the deep end and making things worse again.
Sorry, long post but having had a difficult couple of weeks, it feels good to have something positive again.
Cheryl, what comments?
Last edited by ThinkingofRecovery : 01-02-2010 at 10:00 PM.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Thats good Carrie. I just spent the last 2 hours with my cpn and I do feel a bit better for it, but she has given me a lot to do and work on.
I also fainted in the chemist. I was sitting there for about 15 mins waiting on my script and had the shakes kinda bad and felt really sick, and dizzy and I just got up and collapsed. I don't know whats wrong with me, and I've not fainted in a long while.
My CPN is concerned I'm not really safe atm, to phone her again in the morning.
I need to go and make the dinner, but I just wanna lie down in all honesty.
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
Once you take the serequel youl feel much better, you might sleep for a really long time though, but the side effects will go away.
That sounds really good carrie, i wish the job center could have been that helpful, i went to my adviser meeting because im going on something called the new deal plan, but im not trying too hard to find a job, not in a bad way, i have been applying and that, but ive got alot to get on with.
On the plus side im FINALLY getting my midi keyboard, i cancelled and orded off ebay, because i could have been waiting for another 6 weeks and i really cant because theres so much i can do with it rather than being stuck with guitar.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
carrie ~ its great that such positive things are happening! hope the placement goes well! Hollz ~ sorry to hear you fainted, hope you are okxx Mari ~ yay! glad you are getting your keyboard!
I hope evreyone else is great!!
i havent relaly been around, had a bad few days but hopefully I can start again nowxx
what are you all doing tonight?
Differences...are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open. GOF
Albus Dumbledore
Hollz, hopefully you will start to feel a little better when you can take your meds again.
Mari, is there not a disability advisor you could see? My SW told me about it and I just called up and asked so maybe your Jobcentre has one. That sounds like a better option re your keyboard.
Sam, sorry to hear things have been so difficult.
Cheryl, you have to try and forget or at least not dwell on what they said hun.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Carrie, this time tomorrow it'll be over. I can imagine that it's not an easy thing to do though, at all. I hope it goes well and things are fixed after last week being so difficult.
I've been really quiet in the thread over the past few months. I'm sorry. Have been in hospital since the end of December but I'm being discharged on Friday, all being well. I've never been so out of society, because I've always had loads of time off the ward in previous admissions, but I've hardly had any this time. On my first overnight leave tonight though, a bit nervous!
I've just fainted again and been sick everywhere, really not good, my heads swimmin
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
Wel i just bought a flute from ebay. The only thing that concerns me is the guy is sending it second class recorded - that not my problem, but just with doing ebay selling myself i know that you need to send items worth more then £39 next day recorded.
Even all the stuff im selling is getting sent out first class recorded, cause your always going to get one dishonest person.
Reminds me of when i read about the idoit that sent a laptop in a jiffy bag first class - come on how stupid do u have to be!!!
Last edited by Bleeding Angel : 01-02-2010 at 08:48 PM.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
Thanks Laura. I'm not sure how it can be any better though tomorrow. I hope your leave goes well. Do you feel ready to be discharged? Are you safe enough?
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Im going to bed, I feel like absolute ****, fainting twice in a day, I feel so ashamed, Im hot and I am cold, I swear it feels like I am going through the menopause. My face is bursting at the moment, its red and im burning up a bit, but then im sitting here on my bed shivering. Whats that all about :S
Big day tomoz, my pal Dave is taking me to his, watching some footy dvds, few supposed drinks, dinner and then off to the semi final, hopefully good times, put it this way tomoz nyt I will either be ecstatic or on a downer, thats football for you :S
Hope everyone else is doing okay, I need to go and see the doctor in the morning about a few things, apparent thyroid problem being one of them, I just hope this quetiapine sends me on a good sleep, took it nearly an hour ago and atm I dont feel much better for it.
Night everyone, stay safe xxx
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
You know, ive been really triggerd the last few days. Someone appeard on my msn after 2/3 years of no contact, and i had to ask why. after some talking - although seeming like nothing had ever happend and we never stoped talking i asked something and was that an appology? I dont know what to do for the best, block and move on or reopen.
Lisa says:
look, you were going thru a shitty time. ok, maybe it went too far, but we all tried to be there for you as much as we could, and i'm sorry i "abandonded" you (for want of a better word)... i sholudn't have done that, no matter what **** i was going thru myself. we weren't very good friends to you.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
It definatly looked like she was trying to say sorry Mari, maybe chat to her for a while and see how it goes? If it triggers you then is it worth re opening? Were you good friends?
Differences...are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open. GOF
Albus Dumbledore
