Eckhart saw Hell too. He said: The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won't let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they're not punishing you, he said. They're freeing your soul. So, if you're frightened of dying and... and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.
probably should have told you about my OD on painkillers but oh well...appointment is over and you didnt ask :p
I'm not text book smart but I'm street smart....well sesame street smart anyway :p
I <3 you Lozza- my beautiful twin and care bear! Keep holding on. 'Whorejay'- u are my gorgeous partner in crime, who I will never give up. They can't seperate us! loooove you. I <3 Frizzly forever!!! ur my nite light R.I.P my beautiful angel Kat, you will always be in my heart. 27/03/91-31/08/09 xxx Sweetdreams baby girl xxx
Location: In a glass vial in the pocket of a beautiful mind.
I am currently:
I am not okay. Because of you, I am not okay.
But because of her, I will be.
rhap·so·dy - an ecstatic expression of feeling or enthusiasm. ♫
"Sacrifice is the most you can love someone." ♥
“Love was at best an excuse for stupidity, at worst a destructive, dangerous emotion that drove men to acts of annihilation which defied logic. It was a twisted, insidious sentiment used to justify everything from spoiling a child to destroying entire civilizations.”
Eckhart saw Hell too. He said: The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won't let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they're not punishing you, he said. They're freeing your soul. So, if you're frightened of dying and... and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.
"Your getting your head smashed in because you hang around with a lanky cunt!" Because i hang around with somone YOU want a fight with IM getting FUCKED? Because everything about that sentence screams normal dosent it? Plus you have three kids. You 16! You should be looking after them not making death threats! And by the way i am not DEAD otherwise i wouldnt be sitting here typing this rant out about you! SO HA I WON!
Im a fifteen year old girl, im hardly gunna want to drop my pant infront of my dad in broad daylight am i. You didnt even pull the curtain. Then you fucking couldnt be bothered with me. Fucking waste of time. "You can't do sport for three months" Fuck off you stupid old bint.
Srsly, i wonder where i would be without you three, i honestly don't know. I think between the three of you you have changed my life in so many positive ways. I can honestly never thanks you enough. Kyle, you stopped me hanging around at the gravy and just made me happy and mentally, Sam you were always there, through everything and i could always count on you to make me happy, and Tom, i cannot imagine myself without you, honestly, you are the best friend in the entire world. I love you guys xxxxx
If you 'knew' what you say you do, maybe you'd see that you've helped me so much. I'm eating everyday now, I'm not cutting two, three times a day. I'm sleeping better, I'm alot happier now than I was then. And it's YOU that's made me happy.
I'm sorry that I failed. And I'm sorry you think that because he said it I listened to him instead. I tried, I really did. And no I wasn't relieved because of what he said, but because he didn't treat me as a fucking statistic but like a person. I've lost count of the 'proffesionals' that just wrote me off because other people with the same issues just didn't manage it, but he's not like that, and yes I'm relieved about it.
So I'm sorry if it seems like I didn't listen to you at all, because I really did. And I'm sorry I've let you down. But I can't believe you're pissed at me for this. I've come a hell of a long when since meeting you, and although things aren't perfect yet I never dreamt I'd even make it this far.
And really I could have had the same conversation with you a while back could I not? About how you just got worse since we met, that you were happier before we were together. And I've kept that to myself because it wasn't your fault. In all fairness I was hurt, and I could've quite easily thrown it back in your face, but I didn't did I? But this is the second time you've done it to me. First off when I went and had stitches, and now this. I'd never say this to you for fear of hurting you, but I think the fact you tried to fucking kill yourself proves you were obviously happier before we were together. So no, you don't get to throw it back me, I'm trying my fucking hardest.
Try taking a step back for one second.
♪♫ I'm Learning To Be Brave In My Beautiful Mistakes ♫♪
Stevie,
Don't leave me, babe, please. Don't do this to yourself, I need you around.
Katie,
Please, be patient with me, darling. I really think I'm falling for you though.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
Shit. Sitting next to you this morning really fucking scared me. You're all bones now. Your thighs are less than half the size of mine. Your bones protrude from your arms. Honestly, you look like a skeleton. I feel shitty because I don't feel like I can talk to you about it because we aren't really friends anymore. But you need help. I hope you're getting it. You deserve the best. It just scares me so much. I've never seen someone that bad in person before.
I don't need you to tell me that I'm average, normal, pathetically simpl.
I know that, I kow what a worthlss, pointless fuck I am, dont start projecting your own emotionally elitist bullshit onto me. I've had enough of that.
For once i my life I'm happy, fuckinghapy.
I'm triedof the stupid self-consciousness, ofneeding to cut, partially tofeelworthy, atially to hurt, partially to ltit out,to get it out ofme. T punish myself for whta I've done, what I did to her.
That hurt, not even connor telling meI'dforgotten myself hurt
'I expected better', fuck you fuck this, do you really want me to fuck myself up far woorse than I did ast time.
Last time...franky..I'm really fucking lucky for having cutso lghtly, all myscars will fade soonenough, over thenxt fewyears an decades.
Dont fucking give me ammunition t caus somelasting dammadge.
I don't need it.
This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight
And in the spring I shed my skin
And it blows away with the changing wind
The waters turn from blue to red
As towards the sky I offer it
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
R.I.P my beautiful angel Kat, you will always be in my heart. 27/03/91-31/08/09 xxx Sweetdreams baby girl xxx
