"As many as 98% to 99% of individuals who develop dissociative disorders have recognized personal histories of recurring, overpowering, and often life-threatening disturbances at a sensitive developmental stage of childhood (usually before age 9). "
but then also I found this on a psych journal website:
<FONT face=Arial>"Only children have the flexibility to fracture off from the “core” personality and escape the traumatic and painful memory. The common belief among most professionals is the personality splintered or fractured before the age of five."
Kat... on theory around dissociation... its only evidence to date and the best they can do is go on what they've seen already (anecdotal evidence) and what what fits in with categories. any psych worth their salt would not say they know gospel on dissociation and that what they say the limits they know are, are fact and unchangeable. that would make them a laughing stock in the eyes of most behavioural scientists. to really KNOW and state what they say as fact they'd have to know how the brain functions. they don't and they therefore work with ideas of how the brain functions (they call them models)... some of the most experienced neuroscientists who study complex trauma and dissociation would back this up (bessel van der kolk, alan schore, ruth lanius, ellert neijnhuis)
so... the most important thing here i'd say is that your experiences should be respected and that you get the right support and understanding. labels and categorisation are secondary and apart from sorting out treatment and medication pathways, the whole exercise is academic and a taxonomist's headache
keep pushing doors open and get what you want and need
btw, just as a heads up, just come back from seeing the film Watchmen. really good but something massively triggering (abuse) happens which may be really unsettling for some folks
Hey bleeding black.
I decided i'd go sober this week..it's tuesday, well now wednesday, i'm not sober >.<
I'm not sure why i've been drinking so much, i dislike being sober?
What do you mean by 'distress tolerance or mindfulness'? I've never heard on them lol.
I think the reason i drink is to forget about the stressfulness and overwhelming feelings..
hmm just not sure to be honest, in a constant state of indifference at the moment >.<
We just wanted to apologise. To you Kat and everyone.
We didn't mean to contribute to you feeling invalidated, we know how much it hurts to be not believed. And we've now done it to a fellow multiple. We're sorry. We believe you, whether it means anything or not.
But yeah, wanted to just say sorry
Kat,
I'll stop apologizing, but know that I am still sorry, for bringing up the old fears if nothing else.
We highly respect you and don't (and haven't) for a second doubted you and your experience of DID.
Uh, we'll PM you the rest.
Do you know why everyone is so quiet? We find often we can trace it to something, but sometimes that doesn't until the communication is back up.
CrazyChaoticMess
Distress tolerance and mindfullness are coping techniques used to manage things like stress and flashbacks. I'll see if i can find some decent information on them, the stuff i have is only hard copy.
About the sobriety issue, I guess i can really relate. So I'm not sure how much help i can be, apart from perhaps making you feel a little less alone.
I sometimes drink for the same reasons, though i don't admit it to anyone in 3D land. For me/us drinking is useful in a whole lot of ways, since it effects all of us differently.
Some of us feel no change at all, unless we have a deathly dosage,
One of us gets extremely violent toward himself,
Another just gets sick and feels no 'positive' effects.
Some get talkative, some get numb, others happy and jokey.
At the moment, for me (ashton) drinking is an escape from the negative ****. It numbs me and sometimes makes me feel enjoyment.
What at the moment is overwhelming and stressful for you?
Chris,
Sorry, we seem to have put our foot in our mouth.
How are you guys at the moment?
Am really looking forward to seeing watchmen, but will now be aware. Thanks for the heads up.
Struggling again with the holidays. Some days are fine, others shithouse.
We still haven't been able to broach it with our T.
Guess we'll see how we go.
[FONT='Segoe UI','sans-serif']******@hotmail.co.uk says:[/font]
[FONT='Arial','sans-serif']haha. that's weird.[/font]
[FONT='Arial','sans-serif']why did you go get yourself abused?[/font]
[FONT='Arial','sans-serif']That was a stupid thing to do.[/font]
[FONT='Arial','sans-serif']i hate you. i dont even know you. and i hate you. [/font]
I have four little ones inside screaming, crying and tearing at the insides of our wrists. SICK.
Last edited by bleeding black : 19-03-2009 at 02:09 AM.
Reason: edited
Someone inside wanted to scream at them, scream the things that were done to them...
But...
"dont talk dont talk dont talk dont talk"
We can't talk. We cna't say. We CANT TELL!
They'll kill us, hurt us, again.
Make us hurt....
Scared, not angry anymore.
Scared and hurting.
dont need
dont want
dont wish
hurt or be hurt
dont tell
dont care
dont trust
You're not a sissy boy. You - all of you - are incredibly strong and brave, and you don't deserve insensitive imbeciles talking to you like that, because what that person said was wrong. You've been through things they can't even imagine, and their own ignorance is fueling their stupidity.
Facet,
yh thank you.
we dont want to be a sissy boy.
This person w as hurt too,
where do you draw the line though?
when do you say 'tooooooo much' and when do you let it go?
The person who said that to you was hurt? Then that makes it even worse of them to say something like that. Maybe they are angry at themselves and are taking it out on you? Which is inappropriate and does not excuse them.
Personally, those remarks they made would be "too much", at least to me. But it's up to you to draw a line you feel comfortable with.
CrazyChapoticMess,
two days sober, and i've started drinking again. 6ish shots now.
And i know I'm letting thbe system down, I'm A ****ED up frontman
i should be sacked.
But you know what? It feels better.
It feels much better than getting the leak through emotions of everyone ewho is hurting. It feels better than gettign the somatic flashbacks.
Hey, i might even be together enough to get some intimiacy from my girlfrriend.... I love her, and all this **** its taking me away from her.
I'm sorry
I'm havubg ahard time.
i wish i could do better
lostboys... you have never said anything wrong as far as i'm concerned
i've been in bits recently (like that's a change!!)
folks kicking off inside. someone said to me once "when someone has a go at you, its not about you, its that they're showing their pain". makes sense to me and has been helpful. its enabled me to love those that have been shitty to me (apart from the legion of abusers, who receive my unending, unwavering loathing). when someone show's their pain to me and we know eachother and especially if they're vulnerable, i see that they trust me enough to show their feelings/pain and i value that trust and try to let the shi* bounce off as much as possible or absorb it as best i can
Facet... the way you want to protect lostboys and care so much shows how loving you are. i wish at least as much for you. gentle-natured one
*Hugs everyone*
I'm sorry everyone's goin through suck a hard, time i wish i could help, or at least have something to say, but i don't, i'm finding it hard to stay sober at the moment, this week hasn't been to bad though and after this weekend i'm going cold turkey, hopefully it doesn't **** with the system to much..
Sorry i haven't been able to offer support or help anyone lately. I hope your all ok..
