The following content has been hidden - Reason : disturbing rant
yes i F***ing cut myself it it felt soooooo good extremly deep and messy
and YES IM F***ING PROUD OF IT
deal with it B****
and yes thats why i was at the doctor
getting stitches ans yes i lied the anti-biotics was for the infection that i caused, deal with it you hoe
I F***ING HATE YOU!!!!
pleasseee can you hurry up and put your makeup on.
im ready.
pls hurry up?
i love you, i know you don't want to do this today but perrrleaseeee hurry up im waiting for you.
i'll make today nice for you.
i love you
Althought we are friends and I would be so sad if we never talked, your presence, and knowing that you'll always be better than me in everything you do hurts so much. I can't hate you for it or be jealous of you, because friends don't act that way. Maybe I'm just being stupid and selfish. I would never ever tell you face to face that you make me feel meaningless without even doing anything special.
I'm not saying that it's your fault that I haven't been able to stop, you don't even know about this. I know you'd help me stop, and I want to tell you and all my other friends the truth, but I'm just not strong enough.
If you spent half as much time ACTUALLY working rather than pretending to work or trying to find other things to do to put off working then you might actaully get somewhere!!!
Last edited by ihopeyoudonthateme : 02-03-2008 at 04:27 PM.
Reason: didnt finish
Sometimes you're amazing. But sometimes how selfish you are drives me to distraction. Couldn't you have just emtied the washing machine. I know it was only my stuff, but I washed all yours yesterday. Couldn't you have just fed the fish? Couldn't you have just made yourself a sandwitch? Why do I have to do it? Then, to top it all off, I come home (after spending all day cooking for my family) and your running a bath and I ask you, simply to plese not be in there all night because I need to wash my hair for work in the morning (you know I'm always cutting it fine, leaving the house so ridiculously early, and that I get up at stupid o'clock so I can bring you your breakfast.) and you pull this face like I'm being really unreasonable? You could've been really amazing and said, here you are sweetheart - you have the bath I can see how stressed and tired you are. But no. I get looked at like I've asked you to sacrifice your first born. This is after I've made your lunch for work tomorrow, organised what I'm making for dinner tomorrow. I cook every night. I clean every weelend. I paid for the meal in Manchester. I paid for the cinema on Saturday. I paid for 90% of the shopping. And you wonder why I get pissd off when all you do is sit on your arse playing playstation and watching footie? Why don't you do something nice for me just once? And if I say anything all I ever get is - "I don't ask you too" well, you shouldn't have to and niether should I. Pull your ****ing socks up.
Play the game out
Amor Vincit Omnia
Dad 10/11/2008 Always our sunshine, I'm still playing for the town hall clock
- it's so boring. like too boring. and there's nothing i can do about it. ugh. it really bugs me. no one ever does anything really exciting, come on, like throw a party or something??? cos like it's two life style choices at the moment...and i don't wanna go to the other one. uuugh. - it looks really interesting...i might do it. it's tempting me sooo much. because i really want that look...hmmm.
When you smile it sticks in my head for ages. I long to be able to stare at you, but you always catch me and throw me that cheeky grin you have.
When you cuddled me in bed I longed to tell you how I really felt. I could swear you feel the same way. But then again, you have a boyfriend.
'I am single now, you know' you said. What does it mean? Why did you say it?
And when KCI and Jojo (Crazy) came on my iPod, why did you say it was ironic, I asked you why it was ironic and you said you couldn't stop thinking of me.
I want to know how you really feel. I long for the mind games to stop. I'd love for us to be together, but it's taboo. And it's different, I'm sure with us still being in school it isn't such a good idea. News travels fast on the jungle bongos; I think I'm falling in love with you, you're invading my mind.
'You've hijacked my mind and soul, I'm falling in circles. Can't catch my fall so, I need you to be close 'cause, where you go I'll follow. So give it back.'
I, don't think you unworthy.
I need a moment, to deliberate.
your so called 'help' just makes things so much worse. Why dont you actually listen to me for a ****ing change. I'm not your little intellectual, you ignoring my problems doesnt make them go away. You and your stupid thoughts makes things so much worse. let me get on with my own life, stop trying to control it
I try for you.
I lie for you.
I lay awake at night worrying about you.
I make little surprises for you so you feel wanted & loved.
Why can't you just care about me?
I know you love him.
I'm sorry for stealing him away from you.
I'm sorry for getting in between you.
& most of all i'm sorry for being here.
don't ever call her worthless again.
she's not fvcking worthless.
she's doing so much for every fvcking one right now so DON'T start slagging her off, your not setting a great example yourself.
She's so fvcking upset right now, she doesn't know what to do, thanks R.
thanks so fvcking much.
i hate you
Aunt= Sorry...but doesn't everyone experiment?
Myself= I wish I never asked for help
Him= I've always loved you, and there will always be a place for you in my heart
Hynotherapist Her=You have helped me so much and I love you for it
C therapist= Imiss you...come back
Teacher=Please come back to school. I miss you, you were the only one that listened
Cats= I love you, you were my best friend, I'm sad that you had to go but you were in pain, and it was only fair and I wish people could put me down and out of my misery...If only I could be with you again but then I would have to sacrifice everything else. I miss you.
My old self: never come back. I hate you for f***ing leaving me in the first place, now look at all the scars I carry, it is such a heavy weight but you will never see the internal scars. I don't want to hate you, but because of you leaving I am broken. I'm torn, broken, messed up. If only you stayed, I would've taken care of you.
but you seem better without me
You call this better?! look at me? I'm a wreck
You like being that way
Yes only because its the only thing I know at the moment.
Okay sorry about that, its me being myself...
The following content has been hidden - Reason : My Family :-)
Big Sisters: dereksarah I-Feel-Infinite *..life in pain..* Lil' Sister: ♥ DreamCatchMe-- Sisters: Sam7413, alyssa.star, inndigo Daddy: Strat Cousin: RandomIdiot Mummy:rainey Girlfriend + Star: Rawrk Niece: Fading Heart GodMother:life'scrap older brother: streetspirit my pet cat: beautiful&dying ♥
<3JohnnyDepp<3
The history of the world, my love --
Is those below serving those up above!
How gratifying for once to know
That those above will serve those down below!
i think that i need to be on my own from now on.
i can't live to make other people happy.
[center]" I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside."
Talk about shocking.
I love you but yet....
I don't.....
but I do.......
but.....I don't know....
Damn it.
Just when I thought I had it all figured out.
i'm ok now i dont need to go.
believe me.
it's alryt.
S, i cried today, i couldnt help it, laura cuddled me, i want to see u tonight but i understand. pls be ok, i do care. alot.
i wil come and see u next week. with L.
H, sorry i think i might do it tonight, stressed out.
"Watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
This seems stupid,.... but I miss you already :(
I wish I could wrap my arms around you, hold you and just be there for you whenever you need me and at the times where you say you don't but you wish I was.
