Contains sexual abuse - really struggling

[Frail Existence]

*hugs you n snuggles you close in my arms*
can always talk to me love and i am only ever a pm and or n email away. forever n always. i. here for you

[needle girl]

startin talk about it is brave :)

*snuggles*
please tell your doc or someone who can help <3

[on edge]

thank you libz i'll try and remember that and maybe i'll send you an email.
*snuggles into your arms close*

Anna im not sure its brave but i know it needs to be done for me to heal and for court next month. im finding it extremely hard though and im having to do it slowly a bit at a time.
im seeing my doctor today so i will talk to her again.

just really struggling at the moment with it all, if only i could have a break away from my head. but thats not going to happen so i'll have too keep fighting somehow.

[needle girl]

slowly is good, less overwhelming that way. talkin bout somethin when scared too is brave :) dont necessarily feel so though.

can you plan something nice to do each day, to relax and enjoy yourself? may or may not make your head be quiet for a bit; something positive each day could help, maybe help lift mood some too.

howd seeing the doctor go?

[on edge]

had another really bad night with awful nightmares, they are so vivid and real its like its happening all over again.
im hoping that with talking about it they will start to lessen and eventually stop, if they dont i dont know what i'll do. im at my lowest point now cant take it not getting better.

Anna the doctor is going to look into some sort of therapy for me, so hopefully that will help some, as for now other than stronger sedatives theres not much she can do.
*curls up tight*

[Heaven Knows]

*hugs Jo*
I hope the therapy helps and that talking about them do start to help too.
Thinking of you darling.
x Katie x

[on edge]

thank you Katie, i hope therapy will help too but im told thers a waiting list so it might be a while yet.

i feel really annoyed and disappointed with myself today as lastnight i was supposed to talk a little more about the attack to get some more of it out of my head, but i had a banging migraine so it stopped me. i feel like ive let myself and Kathy down, shes helping me. the voices are telling me i need to be punished, maybe i do, i dont know im so confused just now the voices are screaming at me.
*brings knees to chest and rocks*

[Heaven Knows]

*hugs you and rocks gently with you*
It sucks when there's a waiting list for things; I'm on a couple myself. Waiting is horrible.

It's really good that you're talking and that Kathy is helping you. Don't be so hard on yourself honey - if you had a migraine it might have made it worse if you went through things again. You need to look after yourself physically as well as working on the voices and memories. You don't need to be punished lovely. You're doing so well. Don't push yourself too hard too soon.

x Katie x

[on edge]

*hugs Katie back*
thank you for your kind words Katie i really needed them and just to let you know i didnt punish myself even though the voices got very intense, i fought against them.

today im going to try and talk a bit more about what happened to me, im really scared though as its got to a bit that is really hard for me to deal with, but i know i have to do this to try and stop my nightmares and to be ready for court.

i had yet another bad night with nightmares got about 2hours sleep i feel so exhausted i cant take much more of this i really cant. *curls up with eeyore*

[on edge]

im really not coping at all right now, everything just to much
im sorry im low on words today
*curls up*

[Heaven Knows]

*cuddles Jo*
It's okay to not have many words darling. We all run out of them sometimes. Well done for not giving into the voices and punishing yourself darling <3 I'm glad you fought them.

I hope talking is starting to help a little bit honey. I know how hard it is, really I do, but it'll help in the long run. Hang in there darling, you're doing brilliantly.

x Katie x

[on edge]

thank you Katie your words mean a lot *cuddles into*

still very low on words but really struggling to cope and feel so alone and low
im sorry i cant find the words today

[Frail Existence]

no need ever be sorry love. promise.
i love you sooooo much. thought i would let ya know.
*snuggles you close in my arms*
happy birthday other day by the way. sorry i wasnt round the day of. Hope it was ok.

[on edge]

thank you libz and i love you sooo much too
birthday was hard and im glad its over with now but Kathy made it ok in the end.

[Frail Existence]

im glad kathy was there and helped. She is good at helping.
*cuddles you gently*
I hope today isnt much of struggle or too hard for you.
Can pm or email me if need orr want ever.