im getting help, but i dont even know if i want to be ok yet.
"They say time heals all wounds. I don't agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessons, but it is never gone." - Rose Kennedy
I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. You tried so hard and still nothing changed for the better which is why I have to let you think it has. If you knew you had just wasted your time you would resent me even more.
On friday it was so strange, we were like how we used to be but I know things have changed so much :/ I miss us.
You can never know what's going to happen.
See I cannot feel this, not matter how you try and in the real world, there's no goodbyes.
I love you more than I have ever loved anyone before but you hurt me so so much and I no I should walk away and that you will never love me or care about me half as much as i do about you but i cant live witout you
I am so, so miserable without you. I would sell my soul to fly you right back, or just hug you. :( I can practically still feel your presence. There's no one else who makes me feel so... I can't describe it. But I need it.
Aside from you and a choice handful...I've decided the best thing about friends is its easy to make new ones.
Last edited by Embles : 23-03-2009 at 05:28 PM.
Reason: Pointless post
We’ve got obsessions
I want to erase every nasty thought that bugs me every day of every week
We’ve got obsessions
You never tell me what it is that makes you strong and what it is that makes you weak.
nobody burns quite as bright. well goddamn, maybe you're right. there's always battles all for you to fight, and you might, you might, you just might. but there is something i got to say: there is a price you're going to pay. try as hard as you can to stay, but you're just fading, and fading, and fading, and fading away.
go turn the lights down low, the cracks begin to show. we love you anyhow, but you're not so pretty now. soon you will be gone, we will all be torn. we love you anyhow, but you're not so pretty now.
I'm finally in a fairly good place in my head.
Things make more sense.
Sometimes stuff happens and I snap, but therapy is helping me deal with that. & hey, if after years of rape and abuse the worst I do is send a few sarky emails & only upset people who deserve it, well, I'm okay with that.
Not saying I enjoy it. Because I don't. But with self awareness comes acceptance and yeah. I'm not sorry. I'm not anything about any of it. I have bigger and better things coming to me in my life and that's what matters now.
When I finally get to start the DBT maybe I can go back to thinking about what I did. But not now. Life is too good to risk fucking it all up again and if that makes me selfish I honestly don't care - because I know that it's about time I got some happiness in my life.
Why? Why are you doing this to me? You know this is what the others did to me. PLEASE talk to me. Let me know we're okay. Or if not then talk to me, & tell me what's wrong. Show me some respect & let me in..... break my heart gently.... face to face. I deserve that at least. Your avoidance & ignoring of me is just making me come up with my own theories, which are probably just perpetuating the problem. Please help me out. Don't just take away my sunshine like that, without a word. CONTACT ME!!
i dont understand you. im angry. im jealous. i upset. im counfused. i hate you. this is your fault. not mine. why have we been here before. like exactly this exact same place. just the other way around. i dont get you. im cut off. i hate you.
so why do i love you?
