My care co-ordinator came round and I had written a load of stuff for her, she is concerned and says when we see my psych on Wednesday we must talk about lots of things, including dissociation.
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
well my care co-ordinator is in the appointment too and she is going to bring the stuff I wrote down for her with her, so everything will be discussed, I am sure.
how are you?
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
*hugs Oliver* I hope it's going to help in the long run to discuss things with your psychiatrist!
*hugs Crazy Cat Lady* I like the new name, it's more positive than BlackSwan! Liddy is right, you are living with things every day and just because one day of the year has this certain number it doesn't change things. I used to feel really bad at an anniversary, until I remembered that it is just a number! And it's a different day of the week anyway, so it's all different except for the number. Maybe you could try to do something nice and distracting and not look at a calendar (it's what I did this year, not seeing the date on that day has helped me not to think about the date and the anniversary).
I've had school today and it was relaxing as one of our teachers is ill and another one could come earlier and now we got home an hour sooner than usually!
Our therapist is on vacation for 3 weeks now, so I'm a bit worried that I might not cope well without him. But I'm trying not to think too much about it because I don't want it to be a selfulfulling prophecy (is it called that way??)
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
Hi guys Oliver I really hope that your psychologist comes up with something helpful. Sorry guys my head is a mess. I'm fat I can't stand the violation. It's really loud too.
I really don't know what to do. Yesterday one of my alters was outside in the evening and she wrote in our book that she had stomach pain (she doesn't know what it means), but I do.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : might trigger
I get stomach pain when I get triggered because of sexual stuff. It's a piece of memory and probably means that there was sexual abuse in the past of which I don't have any memories.
I'm worried that she will not cope if she figures it out. And she already asked me what it means in the book and now I don't know what to tell her. I would tell her the truth/ask our therapist to tell her the truth. But I don't want to tell her now, because he's on vacation for 3 weeks!
And I'm worried she will figure it out herself because she already wrote that she gets this when she is reading certain things (she's just not sure what).
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
Im pissed off, went to therapy today, drove myself, was almost there and the road was closed 5 minutes away from the therapy centre, there were no diversions and I got completely lost and arrived 25 minutes late and only got half an hour of therapy. I really needed to talk, to rant but there was no time.
Hope everyone is muddling along ok
*leaves my chickens free range eggs in a basket for people to take if they want to*
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Hi sorry I don't know what to say Laura but I'm thinking of you sorry Liddy that sounds so frustrating here if you need to talk. I feel so broken I've had flashbacks pretty must constantly all day I just feel hurt sad and lost. I managed to suppress everything so I could eat and now the feelings of violation are stronger. Sorry I'm waffling .
*trys Liddys eggs and compares with own 'happy chicken' eggs*
It's super frustrating when you get less therapy becaus of someone elses fault! Could you try to write down everything you want to rant about and bring it with you the next time?
*hugs Unglyduckling* (sorry, I still can't remember you name!)
I wrote to my alter in the book and told her that sometimes when a bad memory is triggered it can make you feel something in the body. And I wrote that it is possible that someone else in our system is triggered but R. is feeling the stomach pain.
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
I'm sorry that happened Liddy, like Laura suggested maybe write down things you want to talk about next session. thanks for the eggs :)
I am sorry things have been so tough today uglyducklin, can you do something this evening to ground yourself or something you like, something nice for you.
Laura well done for writing in the book to your alter and telling her, hopefully that will help your others to understand things.
I'm just sat here crying, feels like my mum doesn't care, rang her and she was more interested in her TV show than talking to me. really worried about seeing, my psychiatrist tomorrow, kind of want some answers though about diagnosis, seeing as I have 4/5 new ones suggested to me in the last few months.
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
*hugs Oliver* I used to hang up when dad was eating and chewing in the phone when he called me. I understand how disappointing it is when parents are interested in other things more than in you.
The Psych isn't going to hurt you and I think it's a good opportunity for you to get answers to you questions. I don't think you have 4 or 5 new diagnoses, but that there are 4 or 5 possibilities and in the end you have just 1 or 2.
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
Happy chickens eggs are actually barn eggs - I watched a documentary on their advert showing chickens roaming freely and then the reality, chickens in dark barns. I have 5 chickens, Polly, Matilda, Emily, Sophie and Isabel. Its not unusual to come downstairs to find Isabel in the kitchen eating cat food as she always escapes her large run. The others behave and stay in. They're all different breeds so we have tiny Matilda up to mahoosive Polly! I'm waffling sorry.
*comforts Oliver* I care if that counts for anything. And remember that tomorrows meeting is REALLY important as it will give you answers that you are looking for so do go and ask the questions you need to.
Thats great that you wrote to your alter Laura.
Uglyducklin you need to find some distractions or go to bed early perhaps, anything to take your mind off your flashbacks. It must have been a distressing and tiring day.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Thank you Laura and Liddy. Laura that is what I meant 4/5 possibilities, know i won't have 4/5 diagnosis, sorry I worded it wrong.
Thank you Liddy that means a lot.
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
