Liddy, it can take longer than 8 appointments to start to trust someone. (Took me more than a year to completely trust my therapist, but there was a good basis from the beginning.) My therapist once told me that in order to trust someone we sometimes need to risk something in order to give the other a chance to prove that they are worthy of your trust. It totally make sense to me, it's like telling someone a secret without knowing if they'll keep it. If they keep it, then you can trust them with it. If they don't then naturally we don't trust them.
What do you have to lose by telling her at least a little bit about what is going on for you? What's the gain? That's what I used to ask myself, and usually the positives outweighed the negatives (simply because therapists aren't allowed to talk about stuff with someone else, except you signed a paper saying that you allow it)
I'm still doing good! It's so good to feel ok for a few days. There are a few small things like not being able to ride my bike and therefore having to walk everywhere. Otherwise I would be triggered too much. I guess I'm good at avoiding triggering situations as much as I need to.
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
I'm sorry liddy not getting on with therapists is hard and disconcerting I'm a bit low on words but I really agree with the others. Glad you are feeling a bit better Laura and I hope you are ok Oliver . I feel so confused right now. I struggle showing my emotions to the point where no matter how distressed I am nine times out of ten I still look just mildly anxious. I broke down and cried tonight something I do a lot but rarely in the prescience of others I can be walking the dog alone and really crying then I see a professional and I've suppressed it all again so they think it isn't bad as I'm over it now. I'm scared I'm an emotional retard. I also had a flashback at dinner over a texture. I wish it would stop. I'm sorry to ramble x
I am sorry you are struggling so much uglyducklin, can you do something you like for a bit, which will take your mind off things, maybe watch your favourite film or something, something distracting.
I am incredibly anxious at the moment, for three different reasons. Plus very suspicious of pretty much everything.
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
thanks for the support and advice everyone. what bugs me about my therapist is that she writes things down when talking to me. She has never asked my permission to write in the session, she has never explained what she is writing, she has never said whether or not she keeps it confidential and it really bugs me and angers me but until now i've never thought to ask her, to question her etc. Thanks guys thats what I'm gonna do. And I know she tells my social worker things and at the moment thats fine as i know and trust her and she knows more than the therapist but the new one starts in 2 weeks and I'm not ready for my personal stuff to be told to her.
oliver, hope you're day went/is going well
*hugs for everyone*
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Thanks Oliver. Do you know what is making you so anxious? It's a horrible feeling isn't it. Liddy that sounds like a great idea and it's really awful she hasn't explained what she is writing. Big hugs and I hope everyone stays safe today x
Liddy, I think talking with her about this is a really good idea! I know my therapist sometimes writes things down during a session, but he told me that it is for himself because he can't always remember all the details of all his patients.
Oliver, sorry you are feeling anxious. Is there anything you can do to make you feel more safe?
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
It has taken me 14 years to find a Psychologist I finally feel comfortable with and trust. It takes time (hopefully not as long as that for you though!)
I had a great one for 7 years but the end of seeing her was messy. But not her fault. Thing is I have so much sh*t to get through, 7 years wasn't long enough.
*takes a hug - thanks*
*scurries into a corner to hide*
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
I worry I'll be in therapy for years but I know things can't change over night. I need to accept that and stop trying think things will make me feel better quickly.
I really trust my Psych and she just gets me. I see her privately so guess I don't have to worry about her leaving! It's taken 11 years to find someone who I feel comfortable with. X
Hugs I worry about this too. I'm scared I'm being self obsessed but it's so frightening and all consuming. Hate myself for this. I feel I'm expected to be ok with it already but I've only had nine sessions. Sorry to go on about this now but does anyone else struggle with showing emotions ? Sorry leaves hugs x
Liddy, I'm in therapy for 2 and a half years now and I didn't even start to really talk about things yet. I feel like I haven't accomplished anything, but truth is I have. In germany people get 45 sessions payed by their health insurace - that's just not enough for me! My hours were all used up once already, a few weeks ago my therapist asked the insurance for more sessions for me. Even though the 2 years people usually have to wait until getting sessions weren't nearly over (it was just 8 months).
On monday I have a session with my mom and my therapist because I'm going to tell her that I'm multiple. I'm really scared, but it is neccessary to tell her.
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
Thanks Kerry that's helped. Thinking of you Laura I'm sure your mum will be supportive and she can learn how best to help you. I think I will discuss it with my eating disorders nurse as I trust her more.
Laura good luck with telling your mum and seeing your therapist with her.
I don't go into detail about abuse and bullying in therapy, only told group therapy (which I have now quit) the other month before I quit about the two times I was almost killed in school by the bullies and that was the first time, after it had happened 10 years ago, that I had said it out loud to other people.
It can take a really long time to talk about stuff like abuse and things.
I feel like so far no therapy works for me, I saw counsellors in school, stormed out after 3 sessions, saw CAMHS with 2 different workers a year apart, but only had 3 sessions with each, saw 2 counsellors at uni, again only about 3/4 sessions with each, then saw a counellor who I saw for about a year, but we more discussed stuff around me coming out as trans, as it was around that time I was coming out, then he left, saw another counsellor for about a year, but then went into hospital and was diagnosed with EUPD/BPD and told I needed DBT, had a therapist (but wasn't doing proper DBT as the group part was female only), but after a year nothing had changed and then this group therapy for people with personality disorders, but now I have quit that because of a transphobic incident.
Although I have a meeting with group therapy tomorrow to discuss the incident from a few months back.
sorry I rambled on.
hoope people are ok.
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
Hugs to everyone. I hope your meeting goes well tomorrow I think finding a therapist you get on with can be hard particularly when there is no initial choice in who you receive treatment from as is the case with the NHS but when you do find the right person it can make all the difference. I'm really struggling with loss right now I miss my dad so much it physically hurts and it's brining in up a lot of memories about my godfather too.sorrry I'm rambling x
