Hi everyone.
how are you all?
i feel sooo alone and confussed and im just a mess
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
Hey Daniella, sorry, I am about to log off and read for a bit before bed - desperately trying to be sensible in order to keep on the very fine line between ok and chaos.
I hope someone is around for you to chat to. Maybe even venting on here might help you.
xxx
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
I am 4 weeks free of sh today :) If only the urges would get weaker, oh well, just have to keep trying and see where it leads.
How is everyone today? I'm waiting for my morning meds to kick in and calm me down but I have only just had them as I was lazy today and only got up a little while ago.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
sorry about yesterday and thankyou for your words of encouragement.
I put myself to bed last night as it was the safest place for me to be
I didnt explain myself properly and just saw all the bad and none of the positives.
My therapist has suggested that I bring the iron pills to therapy and take one or two when im with her so we can deal with the emotions as they come up ..both before and after taking it/them....but I HAVE to do it or I lose her too. I hate being backed into a corner, being MADE to do things. It may not be enough to keep my doctor as he wants me to take them atleast once a day..........
It makes me rebel like a naughty petulant little child
Im feeling really scared...like a child would be.
Im not sure i will beable to do it but i promised her i would bring the pills to the next therapy session.
Rowie (hope it's okay to call you that??) - I know how you feel about feeling like you're being made to do things, but as hard as it is to accept it at the moment they are doing it for you! I think it's great you've agreed to take the pills to therapy even if you don't take them. Could you talk to your therapist about how you're feeling about being backed into a corner?
Cheryl - How are you doing? I can totally understand being nervous but I hope it goes okay. Let us know yeah??
Me - I went to counselling today and it's kinda helped She's said that even if I'm feeling fine, they will still take me seriously which has kinda eased worry slightly. She's given me her email address and asked me to email her stuff as I find it easier to write rather than talk, and then we can discuss stuff brought up via email in the sessions. Bit scary but it's a step, right?
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
Rowie, taking them is the first step though isn't it, I think that is a good plan.
I've been feeling a little on edge this morning so have been busy sorting forms, setting up printer software on my new laptop, washing, bath, etc. I'm also trying to fight through the sedative side of my meds as my afternoon dose is due around now and I am already feeling drowsy. I would probably have been used to it by now but I didn't take my afternoon dose often over christmas because I wanted to be able to be involved. Now Christmas is over though, I need to take them properly because they certainly have helped me in and after my hospital spell. Sorry, that was a bit of a random waffle.
How are you doing today Daniella?
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Thank you Ash....Im glad your counselling went well and that you have the option of emailing your therapist. I think its a good idea. I really struggle in therapy talking about things and writing them down would be so much easier. I hope it helps you xx
Daniella....hope youre doing ok today xx
Im glad youve been able to stay busy today Carrie, Im in awe of you being able to get somuch done aand to have such a positive attitude towards things xx
Does anyone suffer from very traumatic and disturbing dreams?
Theyre mostly about my family, both living and deceased and its really upsetting me
I know Im going through a really difficult time right now...not just with therapy and doctors but also with intimacy in my marriage (thread in vets) which is dragging up my past and we are discussing this (as much as I can) in therapy..I think its all gotten too much for me
Rowie, I go through periods of terrible nightmares and am going through one now. I even switched one of my meds earlier in the year b/c weirs/bad/vivid dreams were a possible side effect.
Thanks Rowie, it seems so difficult to do these things right now and so much easier to give in but I am trying to listen to others that it will get easier and is going to help. Just gotten back from a short walk in the snow but I'm dead drowsy from my meds so I might have to have a nap - pathetic, I know.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Its not pathetic at all Carrie, You have done somuch today you are entitled to feel drowsy without the meds let alone with. Please dont be so harsh on yourself you are doing really well xx
Ferretmonster, that is really good news about the cbt..how do you feel about it? xx
Maybe I need to talk to my doctor about thse nightmares....doubt he will change my meds though due to everything that is going on
hi guys hope ur ok.
thanks for all was ur support last few days dbt was ok today bit overwhelming i over reacted i now i know that now. it was hard work and feeling bit drained now. saw my cpn today and explained about the moodswings being very active right now. so seeing my psychiatrist next week to discuss this he suggested maybe mood stablisers. but dunno lets see what he says.
I'm feeling a let down, i od'ed last nite :(
I just feel soo lowit's unreal my head is just a mess.
on the plus side i got another tattoo on tuesday which i love and im going to see my friends in a bit to have a big snowball fight so i have to look on the plus side.
How are you all?
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
