Black Swan - a grounding technique I learned in a trauma unit was to hold a frozen orange and then touch it and smell it. It was very cold and the smell was intense so oddly, it helped. I started keeping at least one frozen orange in my fridge upon discharge. I know it sounds strange, but it may be something to try when you feel you're dissociating.
I met with the DID specialist therapist today, and he was very good, so I'm going to be seeing him now. It was a pleasant surprise given my disastrous consultation and my meeting with my psychiatrist in which, for the first time in two years of treating me, he said he doesn't believe in DID. So I'm hopeful this man can help.
Uglyducklin - I'm sorry to hear about what's going on for you at the moment. Is there anything that helps when the bad thoughts come?
Sorry that I don't have a lot of helpful words at the moment - I still feel weird posting in this thread after so long and don't want to intrude in a sense.
Thanks Horizon . I just read the typo I meant a hard session. She really forced me to think about my behaviours and motivations it made me feel even worse about myself really. I think I also need to work on explaining myself better. I don't know they are still there I'm just working on delaying them but at least I know I can mention them without fear of judgement. I'm quite anxious about my scan today also. Thinking of you Fragile today as well. Leaves hugs x
Thanks but my carer yesterday looked at the hospital letters and it was for JULY not June. It's weird coz I could have cried, I now have to put up with this bowel pain for another month, so even though I was/am real scared, I also thought they were going to be able to take my pain away : (
Good luck with your scan uglyducklin (y'know the problem with your username is you can't shorten it or I would be calling you ugly! And you are beautiful inside and out so it wouldn't work!)
Hey Horizon, I've heard of many techniques but never a frozen orange! I might try that myself...
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Hope its okay just to jump in here? Theres a lot to read so I'm just going to send love and hugs to everyone.
I have a question if thats okay? Wondering how people have found working with somewhat unpredictable dissociation? I'm due to start a job and I've not had one in a long time and not when I was dissociating at this sort of level. So in honesty I'm terrified.
I work full time in education and have dissociative tendencies when stressed or anxious. I am fortunate in that I have don't have alters, I just space out. I usually excuse myself as not feeling well, which is true and do some of the things that I find help.
Niles: I really must go. I'm hosting a seminar on multiple personality disorders and it takes me forever to fill out the name tags.
chinahorse, I carry a small bottle of perfume in my handbag and if I feel myself going I spray myself and to other people it just looks like I'm re-applying my perfume but to me I'm using the smell to bring myself back.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Because of the sort of job it is (fast food dude- feeble attempt o make it sound good) I doubt I'd be able to excuse myself or do the things I normally do to help. Not sure if I'll be able to wear perfume or anything, and jewellery and food are out too.
Sorry just moaning now. I'm very anxious about it but hopefully it'll be fine as I can be very task orientated and am better when I'm busy. Just worried.
My current trousers don't own pockets but in theory yes if I get trousers with pockets. I could put something 'grounding' in there too come to think of it couldn't I.
Hey everyone Lillie I carry a piece of cloth with a few drops of lavender on it and have hair bands on my wrists to ping. Although sometimes I miss when I'm about to dissociate it does make a difference. You aren't moaning lillie. I'm so sorry about your appointments not being for a while longer feeling unwell is awful enough let alone the added anxiety of the procedures themselves. I just feel so ashamed and raw . X
Lillie, you aren't moaning! I know how hard it is to stay in the present when you have to function. For me it is easier to stay in the present while I'm doing something. I do have alters, so it's probably a bit different to you but I was really concerned at first that there could be switching while being at work. So I talked with the kids and told them that it is neccessary for me to be in the front at work, and the others older ones I told that they can come but only so far that I can get back anytime. This is working well for us.
I don't know if something like this would work for you, but maybe you could try to talk to the 'dissociation' as if it was a person? I know it sounds weird but it might work ( I told memories that are triggering me to stay locked away and it worked).
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
Thanks Jessie, lavender on my shirt collar or something may work as I really detest it as a smell and the best food grounders are things I don't like. Sorry that you are feeling badly, be gentle with yourself.
Laura, really glad you've found a way that works for you :) You are right that its a little different as you have alters.
I'm worried about my session on Wednesday. My psych warned me last week that there are going to be male builders in during our session and she was aware how this may bother me. She said she's going to talk to them and ask them to take their break around the time of our session. She reminded me about it again on yesterday which I thought was really considerate. She also said she will wait outside her house for me as I know I get anxious.
If I dissociate during the session and hear men's voices, god knows what will happen.
It finally feels nice that someone truly understands and truly wants to help.
Does anyone else find it so so hard to talk in therapy? I jus can't seem to get anything out.
Hi Kerry I think it can be difficult to talk in sessions I often feel like my words die on my tongue. Could you try writing things down? I'm struggling tonight my self harm is a bit all over the place I can't seem to ignore urges. I just feel fat dirty and violated. I'm not sure where my ability to cope went ! Sorry moaning. X
When I first went to the priory (went for a years admission ip bpd ward) i couldn't handle even male staff coming near me in the corridor or walking past me and the female staff used to shelter me (let me hide behind them) but towards the end of my stay they stopped doing that as i ''had to get used to men'' so i get where you're coming from kerry
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
I get easily startled frightened if men especially unfamiliar ones come up behind me or too close too. That said I've also had more positive experiences with some men ( platonic only) . I find pubs clubs and bars the most fearful places as well as sometimes standing in close proximity to strange men on a crowded train or tube. So you are not alone in these things. X
K is going to meet me outside her house just in case they are around. On Fri, I held back because the post man was in front of me. I was so anxious.
I worry the flashbacks will worsen when I try and vocalise things more. I come round and realise I'm shaking. Is that normal? My therapist knows exactly what to do which I guess is good but I hate people seeing me so vulnerable x
