Umm... I feel awkward replying to this thread since I have not been diagnosed with DD,
but I made another (separate) post about this and someone suggested I try posting here, so umm... yeah...
Today... I don't know what happened, but according to my husband, I lost the past 2 years of my memories.
The only thing I know is we were somewhere and all the sudden, I asked him, "Where are we?"
He looked devastating at me and said, "You don't know where you are?" I looked around for a few minutes and said no.
Next thing I knew he was asking me all kinds of questions... like "What did we do earlier today? Where do we live?
When is our anniversary? What year is it? How did we meet? Who is the president? How old are you? etc"
None of which I knew the answer to. About the only thing I knew was my name and that he is my husband.
What the hell is going on? What is wrong with me??
We're all in the same game;
Just different levels.
Dealing with the same hell;
Just different demons.
Bound no more, It's all good. You really shouldn't feel awkward posting here.
What do you remember?
Do you know the period of your life before the 2 years?
How have things progressed since you last posted?
Facet I relate to what you said about the teachers, we live in a different city now, and don't often (though i have once or twice) run into teachers from school. But if we did/when we do, it is strange. We're not recognized, which helps, but it's still a strange sort of trigger.... We were quite 'weird' at the time too.
Well, hope you're all well everyone, thinking of you all!
lostboys
Bound no more, You don't need to feel awkward, this thread is for everybody, diagnosed or not. It sounds like dissocation to me but i'm not a professional. Are you seeing any professionals? What do you remember?
Facet, i can ... sort of relate. with the teachers. Not sure what else i can say. heh.
I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared.
But no-one would listen, cos no-one else cared
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect but neither have you
things are hard here. not capable of saying much. can just about keep up highly functional. this will be tested on saturday as i have to go see people. spent the last few days stuck to the spot pretty much. not good
why is it so difficult for some to understand that we simply cannot discuss certain matters for the safety of our system? nobody is asking currently, however it has happened before. if they are so concerned for her, why do they wish for her to reveal upsetting or potentially dangerous information when they are well aware it may be?
I found out that I've been disassociating for a long time, and never even knew it... it's scary that i've been not remembering things very well at all and not even know it. it's strange that i could have lost time so much but never known it. i think cause i can remember a little, but not much. so it never came up. it's still scary that it was missed so long, cause i've been in treatment for 2 years.
Kat, Thank you :)
What did you lose?
We hope you are all OK and we're thinking of you.
*here listening and caring*
Chels,
We know what you mean. *relating*
People have to understand that sometimes the most helpful thing to do is to leave you alone and not ask probing questions.
peace>x<reptiles
Hey, we understand.
Our frontman has very little memory of the past, sometimes because he
wasn't the one present, other times because we've attempted to siphon
the memories so we can hold the pain for him.
It can be really scary, we know. We think you'll find it was originally a very helpful response to trauma/distressful situations, but now the memory loss/dissociation is more of a nuisance than it is helpful.
*trigger - abuse* site suggestion - specific words used
BoundNoMore... if you're in the USA it may be that you can get support via www.rainn.org which is a site that can locate services that may offer nil cost resources
Antithesis... there are some absolutely amazing people on this thread that you may be surprised about the depth of their understanding with stuff. i know there's no pressure here. just a wish for folks to be as ok as they can
hi folks. i've been a mess and stayed off. i've said some bad things here and there and i want to say sorry to anyone impacted. in a major struggle now. shame, guilt and horrible behaviour coming from me/this body. huge amount of self hatred for how i've been to people close to me. so f***ing hard to reach out when things are rough
Kat,
Is this the young guy psychologist you mentioned? How is it going?
Chris chris! You are beautiful.
Your words are so kind and gentle, you can't doubt their genuinity.
We are thinking about you and hoping that the self-hatred and shame abates soon. We believe you are a great person and deserve care, not punishment whether from yourself or others.
We know what you mean about it being hard to reach out.... We're here if ever you'd like to chat
Kyle,
Hey,
It can be really distressing discovering parts you didn't know of before, we're sorry you are having a hard time of it.
When we discover unknown parts we get a whole range of emotions. From fear/trepidation, to exhaustion, frustration, and sadness.
In our experience the best thing to do is make the new parts feel heard and welcomed. If they were locked in the past in an unsafe situation or environment, they may not know that it is different now.
We've also found that even if the part displays behaviours that could be seen as dangerous or aggressive, behind that is almost always a crippling fear and despair.
We hope you can communicate with this new part that they are safe and welcome and don't need to harm in order to not be harmed.
Thank you for replying to her (Lola, she's calmed down recently which is a lot better)/us back then.
Kinda lost for words at the moment in the way of advice, but you're all amazing and strong people. I read something the other day about how beautiful and strong the spirit is that stays intact through everything for survivors with DID/dissociative distress, even though there are other parts that have "broken off". There's that spirit there that doesn't break. It was lovely and made me think of you guys so yeah.. *shushes*
peace>x<reptiles.
It doesn't have to be trauma or abuse.
Dissociation is a reaction to high levels of stress. It's an ability everyone has, some people just don't dissociate to the same extent.
Because you dissociate doesn't mean that you were abused.
Is it bothering you?
