tell someone something without telling them...

[ihopeyoudonthateme]

I really love you, but im so worried about you...I really dont know what to do. Your just not all there, and I dont think you understand or want to believe it. I just cant bring myslef to tell you, because i know it will hurt you, but i feel that if i dont tell you now, then it will hurt you more later. I dont know what to do...I just want to see you happy again :(

[alienshe_cheesycake]

I don't want to let everybody down, you all seem to think I'm so fine and good and doing well, but inside I'm falling apart.

I've tried to hang myself twice since I've gotten back from the ward,
once I couldn't tie the knot properly, the other time sombody came in as I was about to do it.

I don't want to die. I don't want to go back to hospital, but I don't feel safe. I don't know how much longer I can hold on...I REALLY ****ING DONT
HELP ME PLEASE> you.have.no.idea.at.all

I don't want to go back to the hospital, that would mean missing more college (perhaps so much I have to quit, which would destroy me)
but I CANNOT COPE for much longer like this....

and you two , well; I know you mean well and your probably trying your hardest. I wan't to be honest with you so you can help me, but I'm scared, I'm scared of not telling you about the SUI attempts because you'll think I'm fine and leave me alone with no help again..........and I'm scared to tell you what I've done, in case you make me go back to the hospital....or perhaps even worse? shrug it off and tell me not to do it again, e.g do **** all. I want you to help me, but please do not give me those two words;
crisis team, I want you to understand that my family have no idea and I cannot have the crisis team on the phone or coming around because they have NO IDEA! but I know you won't understand this......I know that you will just think I'm ****ing with you..........****, please, understand...
I'm scared.........I'm scared that there is nothing you can do to help me.
but I can't do this on my own I can't.........

I'm scared. I want my therapy ****ing NOW. I reaaallly do need it.
My head is so ****ed up,............I need to sort my life on and get on with my life.......I have to.

[suicidal~lullaby]

im so sorry... i failed you
i did it again
i know you didnt want me too
but i did it again this morning...
there was not blood... no sweet red paint of life
but im thinking of using a knife next time
to end it...
im sorry...

[DisenchantedxRomance]

I have never been so content in my entire life just standing next to someone.
I hope you come back to me.
I know if you don't, then I'm supposed to be happy for you....
but I don't know...
I don't know if I can....
I can put on the show but it doesn't mean that I want to.
Tell me what I have to do....
Cause, I got it bad for you......



Sweetie, I'm so sorry that life is such a bitch.
I wish you'd let me be there for you..
but your too stubborn for that.
I'm probally the only person that understands.
But the thing is, you'll never see that.....
I just wish you would.

[xbeckyx]

I'm so sorry I keep scaring you, I don't mean to and you deffo don't deserve it, you are one of the best people I have ever met in my life and I know I don't deserve you as a friend. Thank you x

I need you to stop. Think about what you're doing for once. Just, try not to make me feel like it's my fault. Please. One thing I'm asking you to do.

[*phantom*]

i've barely seen anyone.

[suicidal~lullaby]

when you found out
i saw the look in your eyes
i know it hurts
im sorry, so sorry
i shouldnt have done it again
but the urges...and no one was around
and i was hoping to hide it
i didnt mean to do it, honest
i just.... i feel so.... horrible
and its not your fault
it never was
never will be
i love you
you know that
im sorry i am not strong enough
like you are
im so sorry....

[DisenchantedxRomance]

I wish that you would talk to me...

What am I saying...I never get what I wish.

[suicidal~lullaby]

NONONONONONO! I DONT WANT TO LEAVE! **** YOU! **** OFF! LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!! JUEST LET ME THE **** GO!!! CHRIST!!!!

[*phantom*]

*meep*
i need to come up with a plan,
cos the atmosphere is killing me.
i get really uneasy in these situations and feel like i should do something.
because i'm worried that if i don't,
no one will,
and we will all fade away,
and that would be such a waste.
x

[pixie*lyssie]

This is me and I love you but you can never know that because you don't love me and you don't even know I exist, please just stop doing this to me. Because it's eating me up inside out. I'm in love with you.

[charcoal feathers]

i knew it would end up like this.
just don't be a prick like before, please.

[Lilybet]

Stop treating me like ****! You're being really unprofessional not to mention immature. I have a right mind to report you... but then, who to? You're pretty much the top of the ladder (surprisingly!).
If you want me to help, then ****ing well keep me in the loop!! Stop ignoring me and avoiding me and LYING TO ME!!!!! You're the reason I'm going backwards - and I know that's how you get your kicks you sick bastard!! This isn't even about whatever the hell was going on between us, this is about me deserving a little respect!!

[lostdaisy]

please get help with your drinking, trust me i know how hard it is but please it could ruin your life. we've promised to see each other again and i couldn't handle it if anything happened to you. You had a **** childhood more than i could ever understand but you are the most amazing person and you deserve a happy future. I love you

[Kitty]

I dunno what to do.
If you were a real friend you'd tell me what to do.


I wish i could tell you about all the ****, but i cant jsut open up to you, not face to face. You'd think i'm a right **** up. I love you in a brotherly way, like seriously, don't move and leave me cause i'd feel so lost. I know she thinks she knows you, but not like, i dont evne kow you that well, i jsut know your a good mate, who i'd do anything for. Ilysm x

I'm sorry, i just dont feel like i fit in with you lot anymore.
I'd rather go out and get ****ed off my face and stoned but you lot jsut wanna sit at home.
I jsut cant do it anymore and opretend thats me, cause its not.
Im sorry, i dont wanna hurt you, i just cant keep lyinging and pretending.
I dont dress like you, im not interested in the same stuff as you, i dont have the same sense of humour, i dont like the same music.
And days like today i jsut wonder what we have in common.
I'm sorry, but i do love you, ive just grown up.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[*phantom*]

you should've said.
it wouldn't have been like it was.
*shrugs* i don't always feel like i fit in,
but i don't have other people to turn to,
so i wouldn't judge you if you spent more time with the people that you feel like you fit with.
sorry babe.
x

[bob--says--hi]

i wish i hadnt of done it
i love you
you annoy me soo much sometimes..but i still love you
do you even like me in that way
i wish i could be normal like you
i lied to you
i wz pregnant with your baby
i need you i just cant admit it

[Samzi]

I hate that you ignore me. I hate that you don't want to listen. You keep calling yourself my best friend but where are you when I'm crying? When I'm stressed or angry? When I'm bored and want to go out? I'm always there for you and your problems. You are too busy with your boyfriend or your other friends to notice how bad I'm doing. You never answer my texts, but get mad when I miss your call. If you were my best friend you could see past the lies, and see how far down hill I've gone in the last month, and you would want to help. Instead you throw my problems in my face, or make jokes. It isn't funny for you to draw lines on my arm during class and when I tell you to stop you say "I'm just adding to your cutting marks" Or when I'm upset to tell me to go take some more medicine. Or tell me to go to therapy and then my life will be perfect. It does not work like that. I just want to punch you some days.

[*phantom*]

-i'd like to kick you. i don't understand either of you. stupid boys.

-i can't stop thinking of suicide. i know it's not the answer and i won't do it, but everything is reminding me of it.

-it's all falling apart and i can't repair it. i don't know what to do anymore, so i can't do anything. i think i've screwed up and i can't sort it out. i'm sure you'll move on with your life and i will too and umm, yeah...that's good i guess.