so... L. is having a hard time so we agreed that C. and I get to be on the outside more so L. can rest. It's exhausting anyway. Probably, because I'm not used to be on the outside so much. I enjoy it though.
Still not as easy as I was thinking... always watching out for L. and to take over if necessary.
Just saw that this thread is active again, and thought I'd write something here.
Ginny
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
I had therapy again today and lost touch again when the past came up. I feel extremely exhausted and pretty low.
My Psych had to bring me back; she told me to put both feet on the floor, look at the photo in the room she noticed I liked a few weeks ago; she read the colours to me and told me to focus on her voice. I came back.
^ sorry to hear you've been struggling. It's good your therapist helped bring you back, a lot of professionals don't know what dissociation is or how to help.
Hi sorry may I join in . I've just started trauma therapy and I'm struggling with staying present and constantly feeling afraid. I'm sorry if I am in the wrong thread. I too find grounding techniques difficult. :(
Thank you Laura I'm sorry about the body memories. I don't know I went out with a friend and she. Said something that triggered a flashback I just about managed to stay present so I didn't fully dissociate. I think the noisy pub helped! I hope you are all doing ok.
Thanks Laura . I'm not sure if I might be. Experiencing body memories. Ever since I've started trauma therapy I've had body aches and flu-like symptoms I understand I could just be rundown but good this be body memory? If not could someone explain what they are? Sorry for my stupidity :(
First, asking a question or having a lack of knowledge of something does not make you stupid Uglyducklin.
Trauma therapy affects different people in different ways. It can make you feel very tired and drained. It can leave you quiet and reserved. It can make you angry. It can increase the frequency of your dissociations. I could go on but I think you get the picture.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Body memories is, when your body remembers something of a trauma that happened to you. I know it sounds a bit weird, because the body isn't the brain. But if trauma happens to you as physical abuse or an accident, then it is something you experience emotionally and with your body. You feel pain etc. in your body. For me, my back is super sensitive and it feels uncomfortable to me when someone touches me there especially without telling me before. It was like that even before I remembered what happened to my back.
Body memory can be like a flashback, but you only feel it in your body (or combined). The body memory I've been struggling with for the last 2 weeks is that I get stomach pain in my lower stomach (and 'down there'). I don't remember anything happening to this part of my body, and I haven't been told about anything like that. It's something only my body remembers.
Hope that is ok as an explanation. I don't know how to scientifically explain what body memory ist.
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
A body memory can also be mistaken as a body memory when it is in fact a genuine physical illness/problem so you have to be quite careful when labelling things as a body memory or vice versa.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
I'm sorry to post in here again. I dissociated quite badly in therapy and feel really weird now. I worry about wanting and needing support? I've been alone with memories for years I'm finding it hard to stand alone on my own two feet is it wrong that I need support? Sorry I'm waffling.
I sometimes get the feeling that I'm not multiple at all and that I was just pretending. I hate it when that happens, because it would mean that it isn't real and so on. But usually it lasts only for a few days - until one of the others is more present again.
Do you get that, too?
What's wrong with needing support? Nothing, if you need it and you can get it, then you should take it if it is helping you! Having to be alone with memories is not a nice thing, and it shouldn't be like that. I think it is right to get support (especially if you need it to get better).
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
