hey everyone! i just got baptised today!!!!!!!!! wow i DO feel like a new person! if you may recall - i was scared of my cuts showing during the baptism.... but it was a long sleeved robe! which i am SO happy about!!! just had to tell someone!!
xxxx
As a little kid you believed in fairytales,
that fantasy of what your life would be: white dress; prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill.
You closed your eyes and had complete and utter faith.
Eventually you grow up. One day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears.
But the thing is, it's hard to let go of that fairytale entirely because almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith,
that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.
I-Feel-Infinite, Congrats on being baptised. So great to see that.
I am 14, I SI, and I am trying to stop so hard, and I want to stop. I have been looking to God and Jesus to help me through my hard times. I am trying, through church and faith, to fill my SI void with the holy spirit. But... my faith is starting to falter, and I can't control it.... Sorry. I am so scard of all of this...
I-feel-infinite- Congratulations! I'm happy for you. This is a great oppurtunity for you to really deepen you relationship with Christ.
Addison- Hey! Welcome, it's great to have you.
It's wonderful that you want to give up SI. The biggest part is wanting to give it up.
It's still difficult though... It took me months after I decided that I wanted to give it up to actually give it up...
Only with Christ's power can you accomplish it, so you really have to give up any idea you might have that you can do it without His help. You have to become completely broken and honest before Him, and let Him have His way, no matter what it is that He wants you to do.
But it's worth it. There is nothing comparable to the freedom that Christ offers.
Feel free to pm if you need anything.
Nothing compares to
Life I have in You
Nothing of this world satisfies
So, I wanna let go
I wanna let You know
All that I have to give is Yours
Here I am
As gold to the fire
I will surrender to Your hand
To this place
Lord, I have come ready for Your touch
It's all for You
It's all for You
I'm letting go
I'm letting go
It's all for You
It's all for You
I'm letting go
I'm letting go
(heyy...yeah)
What is it in me
That hangs on for so long
Why do I fight the tears that come?
I work so hard to
Keep in control when
All that I want is to let go
Here I am
As gold to the fire
I will surrender to Your hand
To this place
I have come ready for Your touch
It's all for You
It's all for You
I'm letting go
I'm letting go
It's all for You
It's all for You
I'm letting go
I'm letting go
It's all for You
It's all for You
I'm letting go
I'm letting go
It's all for You
It's all for You
I'm letting go
I'm letting go
I'll take this life
And lay it down
I'm letting go
I'm letting go
My hopes and dreams
Here at Your feet
I'm letting go
I'm letting go
(It's all for You) And I am ready (It's all for You) for Your life
(I'm letting go) And I am (I'm letting go) ready for You now
(It's all for You)Lord I am (It's all for You) ready for Your life
(I'm letting go)And I am (I'm letting go)ready for Your life..
It's all for You
It's all for You
I'm letting go
I'm letting go (I'm ready for Your life)
I'm ready..
I'm ready for Your life
Ready for You now, yeah
-Starfield, All For You.
the highlighted words= :-O
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
^^ I love reading those sorts of things. It just makes me feel so reassured. Biblical promises are the best, because you know they will be kept, no matter what.
Just thought I'd share that I finally was able to talk to my youth pastor. We kept missing each other, but finally met up.
He told me that I thought I was putting too much pressure on myself, that I was being to harsh and worrying too much. And that while my problems were problems, I was building them up as unsolvable.
He wants me to take off the rubberbands I wear, and get rid of the other stashes I've got (knives I've hid, etc). He says I have to learn to take away the comfort zones, because it's too easy to slip up if I don't.
And he wants me to continue to try and be open with him and tell him what's going on.
I do not want to know myself. I do not want to be myself. I know better, so I will strive to be better.
That's going to be difficult, but it is definitely necessary.
I'm glad that I got rid of my stash of sharps, because there have been innumerable days when I would have cut if I had them.
To everyone who's hurting
To those who've had enough
To all the undeserving
That should cover all of us Please do not let go
I promise there is hope
Hold fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is His grasp
So hold fast
Will this season ever pass?
Can we stop this ride?
Will we see the sun at last?
Or could this be our lot in life? Please do not let go
I promise you there's hope
You may think you're all alone
And there's no way that anyone could know
What you're going through But if you only hear one thing
Just understand that we are all the same
Searching for the truth
The truth of what we're soon to face
Unless someone comes to take our place
Is there anyone? All we want is to be free
Free from our captivity, Lord
Here it comes fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing stronger than my strife
Is Your grasp
So hold fast
Help is on the way
So hold fast
He's come to safe the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is Your grasp
To hold fast -Mercy Me, Hold Fast...
stay strong guys <3
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
So Iv'e only just noticed this thread! It's long, and I don't really have the time to go through and read it all, but fancied sharing a bit of my story and joining in with the thread a bit
I joined the church choir at the age of 7 and have been going ever since. I didn't really become a Christian until 2003 when I was 15. By that time I'd been cutting for 2 years and although felt close to God, couldn't help but blame him. But something changed in a church service I attended. It was amazing. A girl who did a lot of the youth work at my church really helped me through some of my lowest times, and actually understood me. It was a good feeling.
Since then I realised God was calling me into youth work to help other young people, like my youth worker, now friend helped me. I'm working in a Church as a student youth worker, and doing a degree in youth and community work and applied theology and it's amazing. We took a group of young people from the diocese to Taize last year and it absolutley changed me. It's a really reflective place, and in one of the silences I realised God loved me, not simply because he had to as I had previously imagined, but because he wanted to. It was overwhelming, and has changed me beyond belief.
I'll be going into my third year of uni in September and have decided to do my dissetation on self harm and atonement. I think it'll be really exciting to look at the two together, and the fact I feel as if I'm in a stable enough place to do this is also exciting. I don't feel like I'm necessarily over the self harm, but I take a day as it comes, and actually ask God to help me when things get bad.
Something I read when I was at Taize, helped me beyond belief. It had a real impact on me. I've hidden it because I guess it could be triggering, and more than you'd want to hear, but if you feel you can look at it I urge you to read!
The following content has been hidden - Reason : possible trig
There is a deep hole in your being, like an abyss. You will never succeed in filling that hole, because your needs are inexhaustible. You have to work around it so that gradually the abyss closes.
Since the hole is so enormous and your anguish so deep, you will always be tempted to flee from it. There are two extremes to avoid: being completley absorbed in your pain and being distracted by so many things that you stay far away from the wound you want to heal.'
That's a really touching story Angel Kisses, thanks for sharing it. It's great that your doing such good work for the youth in your community ^_^ And welcome to the Christian SIers thread!
Heather- I love the lyrics to that song... but I for some reason utterly despise the song itself... Lol
Angel Kisses- Thanks for sharing! That's amazing. I would be incredibly interested in reading your dissetation once you have finished it. It's a subject that's really close to my heart, and one that I am eager to understand more deeply. :)
On a more personal note.... I guess I'm not doing well...
I mean, things in life are wonderful on the surface...
but I think I'm losing it again... and I can't afford to lose it again...
I'm 8 months free, but I've started semi-subconsciously scratching myself when I'm nervous again... I always stop as soon as I notice I'm doing it... but I have accidentally drawn blood once...
And I've purchased new blades... haven't taken them out of the package yet, but i have them...
And on my band trip this weekend we're going to a water park, so my huge scars will be visible... so i'm on edge about that...
idk... just pray for me...
hun.. *cuddles*
i have no advice except try to throw the blades away dear <3
praying xxxxx
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
hi eberyone,
im sorry for posting...you probly all hate me anyway but um i am really angry at the moment at church and the whole church thing....
iv been a christian for about a year now. Dont have many friends at church coz im quite but anway im angry coz all the leaders seem to say hi and all that and become like your friend at the beginnig , i guess to get you to be saved or whatever and then they 'dump' you and move on to the next person....
it makes me so angry...its starting to make me question everything about church...
all they say to me now is hi , how r u?, but really there too busy to actually care...obvisouly im ******** not fine but they dont really give a ****, all they care about is 'winning people to the lord'.....
im sorry ...does anybody know what im talking about...if not, thats okay...sorry....
Hi mystery. Ya, i definitely know what you're talking about. My church can be kind of clichey sometimes, been going for years but it is still hard to connect with a lot of people. New ppl always have a hard time at our church. The leaders try, and yes, they sometimes do try to 'win ppl to the lord', which isn't a bad thing necessarily but if theres not follow through afterwards its not that helpful. They mean well, but it's not about getting the church attendence count up, they should pay attention to u, and not just at first.
I am glad u became a christian, i'm sorry your having a hard time. It is hard when christians give out a negative impression. But then, christians are not perfect, or any better than anyone else. they all have their own sins and problems. My pastor told me once that when someone hurts you, it is usually because of a fault that they have, not because of u (sorry random tangent :P).
Anyway, i hope you find ppl there that will pay attention. I know it can be hard when your shy (i am too), u may have to get their attention lol. maybe you can find other christian friends to talk to as well. It is important to have a good support system.
feel free to pm me if u wanna talk or anything :)
"I gave up yesterday but they still want more"
"if you say this life ain't good enough, I would give my world to lift you up"
