Location: Small town in Michigan called St. Louis. It's friggin small!
I am currently:
Well... what can I say? I'm just like anybody else... can't escape the darkness, but can't live in the light. No where else to turn, well, I know one road... it's a short one that's leads to a dead end. Anybody up for a road trip?
I got so sarcastic with my psychiatrist, he kept saying give it another chance and I was saying a chance for what? For someone else to hurt me/use me/abuse me? I find it very ironic that other people can hurt me so much yet I'm not allowed to hurt myself.
@Looking4Hope, - I'm a Christian too, raised in a Christian home by a Christian family. So I totally get how you're feeling. I feel so guilty for feeling this depressed and suicidal and hopeless...when my church is constantly reminding me that there is hope and help through God. But...I just can't accept it. I used to believe it so strongly but now...its slipped away. and it really sucks. and yeah. I feel like a hypocrite at church and in the Christian Union at college. But I can't help how I feel....and I feel like dying. just...ugh. :(
Heading up to four years free. I NEVER thought I'd be in this position - recovery IS possible and it is even better than you can imagine :)
In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free. Psalm 118:5
*hugs everyone in the thread*
How are you all doing today? Can you go to A&E if you're feeling unsafe?
misconception: You're right, there's always hope. I'm sorry that you feel things have slipped away at the moment, but they'll come back. Have you spoken to anyone at your church about how you're feeling?
Demons to Some: A chance for things to get better? A chance for things to turn around. Nothing remains the same forever. Try to stay safe.
LinkinPark: I'm sorry you're feeling so bad right now, please try to stay safe. What's made you so low right now?
Samzi: How are you doing now?
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
I wish my thoughts and feeling would change. I try so hard to not feel the way I do.
But I can't hide it anymore
I can't deny it anymore
Arhgg.....I want to die.
On edge. I know what that feels like and it hurts so bad. I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. Hugs. Try to hold on. Tomorrow may be different and you are worth fighting for. Please dont give up. You are worth it. What is making you so sad??
Mum24. My life is horrendous and this week has just finished me off. I get repeatedly 'R' and abused, the police are useless and I've had enough now.
My physical health isn't good either and the men doing this to me aren't helping that.
Also my baby died a month ago and its just all to much.
I want to die, I'm sorry.
Okay.
Well I've got to the stage where I hate the way I feel. I've tried suicide by cutting my wrists already but I failed at that attempt.
I just want to stop feeling so low, I hate it! I just think it would be easier if I wasn't here :'(
Don't spend your life waiting for the storm to pass, just learn to dance in the rain
Why keep giving life chances, I feel abhorrent inside, I've never had mood swings like these, I freaked out in Tesco and ran away, my boyfriend had to abandon the trolley to run after me, I ran across a road and squatted down by a wall and cried. I can't keep living like this, I can't keep putting my loved ones through this.
I freaked out because I tried to shop normally but couldn't do it, he hates me, he's told me I have to go home on Monday (when I get paid) because I self harmed in the pub.
I took an overdos. The bigest one i have ever took. I thought it would kill me. I almost hoped it would kill me becaue i didn't know what else to do It feelsz like lifes is to hard.
My blood tests where fine they shouldn't of been but i think i am glad that they are. I prayed to god for him to help me for two hours straight while i sst in the hospital and as an answer almost impossably the bloods come back normal. This is my second chance. I should be happy and i am happy, i think.
I just widh i could stop feeling so sad.I still hurt. I hurt a lot. what then hell is wrong with me?
"The body faught to survive, it evacuated toxins in any way it knew how. It made clots to stop the bleeding.Bones would find the quickest ways to heal themselves. It made scar tissue. In the face of violence towards it, it would become violent. It was amazing, yet excruciating. "
I freaked out because I tried to shop normally but couldn't do it, he hates me, he's told me I have to go home on Monday (when I get paid) because I self harmed in the pub.
ive been texting you sweetie but no reply for over to hours, tried ringing you to cant get through, im worried about you. you asked me for help and im here just waiting for you so i can help you. please baby get in touch with me and let me try and help you. *holds you so tight never letting you go* x
so had enough, just want it over with. i just hurt to many people, i dont mean to but i always do. cant help them, feel completely useless and a failure.
i cant even help myself, keep letting these bastards hurt me. im sorry
I know this might sound stupid and trivieal but here is a small reasion not to try and kill your self by overdose at least.
They make you sick. Lots and lots and what is worce, wehn you tell people you spent the night with your head in a bucket they say it is a good thing. Ugh!!
"The body faught to survive, it evacuated toxins in any way it knew how. It made clots to stop the bleeding.Bones would find the quickest ways to heal themselves. It made scar tissue. In the face of violence towards it, it would become violent. It was amazing, yet excruciating. "
I just feel as if it would be better if I slipped away from the world. The world would be much better off without me. I'm useless. This is all just so hopeless. I feel so alone and I've failed everyone. This is probably the worst I've felt in awhile. I keep arguing with everyone around me and so many hurtful words have been exchanged. I just regret everything. I'm scared that there is nothing I can do to make it any better. I'm afraid to share any of this with anyone, so I'm forced to hide it. I don't know how to tell anyone. It's hard for me to find anyone who will listen anyway...
I wish I knew the words to explain how I feel but I don't. I don't even feel particularly sad today and yet still I have lots of little pills lined up just ready for me to take. It makes no sense to me, logically I know I should just get help but something stopping me, maybe I just don't know how or maybe my pride gets in the way. I read the other night that one in ten people who have bpd will die of suicide maybe after all I'm just that lucky one and it's already engrained into my destiny, thats a strangely comforting thought.
I wish I knew the words to explain how I feel but I don't. I don't even feel particularly sad today and yet still I have lots of little pills lined up just ready for me to take. It makes no sense to me, logically I know I should just get help but something stopping me, maybe I just don't know how or maybe my pride gets in the way. I read the other night that one in ten people who have bpd will die of suicide maybe after all I'm just that lucky one and it's already engrained into my destiny, thats a strangely comforting thought.
It doesn't have to be your destiny. I have BPD too, I didn't realise the suicide rate was so high. But there is hope, you can recover. I was suicidal and today I woke up and thought well maybe I'll give this life another go. Maybe giving it another chance could make all the difference.
