@DollyPOP
I'm sorry that you've ended up being in hospital. Did they tell you how long you'll be staying this time? I hope that the admission helps you.
I'm out. It was only to restabilise me, which it always is. I never stay for more than a week, just to calm down, sort my meds and reclaim myself.
slightly. Struggling with suicidal thoughts, and being in a haze: but am slightly more stable.
I think next time I try to die i will try harder, so hopefully that will help me to not try too soon and I hope I can find more reasons to live. TBH the more dissociated and in a dazey haze that I am the safer I am probably because i'm disconnected from my thoughts and feelings that way I guess.
Oh what a beautiful day for us.
We have been looking for ways to trust
Things will unravel the way they must.
And when you see it it's simply the greatest of things.
You'll be grateful the rest of your life.
@DollyPOP
I'm sorry that you're still struggling abit. But I'm also glad that you're more stable now. Please continue getting better! :)
I'm doing pretty well too. I haven't been dissociating so often and so long recently. I'm thinking of opening up to my therapist about the sexual abuse soon.
Good luck with opening up to your therapist about your S.A. I hope it helps and even though it will be hard it has to be done, so I'm glad you're feeling ready and able nearly. Good Luck again: that's a big thing.
I"m ok this morning. I just woke up though, so nothing has happened to send me off on one. lol.
Not doing well. Trusted someone. Really cared for them. Let. Walls down & let him in & really know us better than anyone irl ever has. He betrayed us.. lied to us..hurt us emotionally. Massively. Will never trust him again. Will never be "us" individually around him again. Avoiding him for a while maybe longer.jenna is calling shots on that.
Why??? Idk why he would hurt us the way he did. :( enforces everything we've ever believed about how we can never trust anyone.
A woman came to visit today to get an assessment, which will then decide if I need help. As usual. So bored of this, really. It's the same old. See a person. Get sent somewhere. Something happens. I still end up **** like this.
They're going to change my meds probably, as requested, cause what I'm on doesn't help with anxiety and building anger.
Woman said I was defensive today when she questioned me.
Damn right I was.
Oh what a beautiful day for us.
We have been looking for ways to trust
Things will unravel the way they must.
And when you see it it's simply the greatest of things.
You'll be grateful the rest of your life.
Hi all,
sorry I wasn't on in the last 2 weeks, but I was camping and didn't have access to le internet.
I'm going camping again tomorrow, but I might have access to le internet... just not sure when.
Aaaanyway.... I have a question:
My therapist told me today that he doesn't believe I have DID (I never had the diagnosis, they just suspected it) but that I have Egostates. What does that mean?
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
Basically means you take on the necessary state of mind for the situation. Instead of a split that is confident, you just pluck up a persona to play out.
I've seen it happen quite a bit.
Oh what a beautiful day for us.
We have been looking for ways to trust
Things will unravel the way they must.
And when you see it it's simply the greatest of things.
You'll be grateful the rest of your life.
My therapist told me today that he doesn't believe I have DID (I never had the diagnosis, they just suspected it) but that I have Egostates. What does that mean?
they said the same about me. I di have memory gaps though, and i fully go but only under certain circumstances i.e extreme stress or emotion. They call mine dissociative states because they're not fully formed personalities, nor are they fully detached from myself so sometimes i am aware.
does that make sense, it's like DID< but not so extreme. in other words it's good news because it's easier to treat. x
@Mute.Scream
I changed it just for you! :) I think it's good that they may have got the diagnosis right. It'll make it easier for you to be treated.
They call my dissociative states dissociative states too. At first my T had thought I had separate alters as well, but it's actually just me going on auto-pilot while dissociated. So, it's just a part of dissociation for me rather than actual alter ego states.
@Mute.Scream
I changed it just for you! :) I think it's good that they may have got the diagnosis right. It'll make it easier for you to be treated.
They call my dissociative states dissociative states too. At first my T had thought I had separate alters as well, but it's actually just me going on auto-pilot while dissociated. So, it's just a part of dissociation for me rather than actual alter ego states.
THANKS!
I THINK I have that, too. When I'm in a dissociatet state I get those attack thingies (they say 'state of hyperarousal' but I HATE that term). Sometimes I don't remember what I did while I had one of the attacks... I found myself in the center of the city once or I found my room looking like someone broke in etc.
Thing is, that while I'm doing those things I know who I am and what I am doing, I just don't remember it afterwards.
Does that make any sense?
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
I have C-PTSD, and have been going into dissociative states a lot lately, after... well, something happened that I don't talk about. Anyway, ramble...
Mute.Scream, I often find that I forget what's happened after - I feel completely in control, but then I find I don't know where I am, or what I did. It's disorientating.
I had an awful dissociative state last week, I was in the pub with friends, then the next thing I knew I was in hospital with my friend and my flatmate-to-be (unless this freaked her out too much) and my parents were there... It was awful, I felt crazy. Question: as far as I knew when I dissociate I'm just on auto-pilot, not someone else, but apparently during this state I called myself Sarah...? Does this mean I have an alter, or what? I'm confused and kinda scared.
Hope everyone's doing alright *hugs offered*
Katie x
Ask me mistakes I have made
Ask me whether what I have done is my life
Others have come, in their slow way -
And some have come to help, or to hurt -
Ask me what difference
Their strongest love or hate has made.
Do you have anyone professional who you could talk about this with?
I'd re-iterate this.
I get what you mean about auto-pilot, i go into auto-pilot and always buy the same rubbish rope from the same cheapo shop and go to the same place, as if i'm controlled lol. xx
Thanks everyone. I don't have anyone professional, I've been out of therapy for the last year and a half, although I'm in the process of being referred to an ED clinic. I've made an appointment with my GP, but couldn't get one until next week.
If 'Sarah' is an alter, what do I do? I don't want to have someone else in my head, I can't even cope with me in my head! Sorry, this is all just very sudden and very confusing :(
*hugs to everyone*
Katie x
Ask me mistakes I have made
Ask me whether what I have done is my life
Others have come, in their slow way -
And some have come to help, or to hurt -
Ask me what difference
Their strongest love or hate has made.
I don't know what I would do if I had an alter, I have heard that some people write messages to their alters so they can communicate.
You could write a message and put a pen and paper there, too so Sarah can answer if she is really there.
sorry if this is shitty advice.
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
Thanks - can I call you Laura? - I'll give it a try. I'm just confused, I'm 20, surely that's too old to be developing things like this? If anyone knows any websites I could visit, the info I've fold is all medical people reporting and is quite scary. xx
Ask me mistakes I have made
Ask me whether what I have done is my life
Others have come, in their slow way -
And some have come to help, or to hurt -
Ask me what difference
Their strongest love or hate has made.
