Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - the list

[shadow-light]

it is horrible... but it's them who are horrible and choose to target people like this, it's no reflection on you

[bobbiwibble]

something scary happened

[shadow-light]

what happened?

[bobbiwibble]

i woke up and there were bad words all over me but patrick didnt believe me. he said i was convincing myself i was more insane than i am

[shadow-light]

sounds scary...

maybe patrick just needs some time at the moment... he may e feeling a little overwhelmed... I know that doesn't help you much right now, but ti might be why he didn't believe you and why he was moody last night

[bobbiwibble]

but they were written all over me i scrubbed and scrubbed but i dont know if it all came off because it was pink and my skin was red anyway

it said bad bad things there was writing on... like, my naughty parts

[shadow-light]

don't think you're lying nor crazy.


maybe yesterday is triggering this off though? it by no means makes you crazy, possibly just your mind sort of projecting the bad feelings

[bobbiwibble]

cant cant do this

*shake head*

cant have another night like last night an sun is goin donw cant cant oh god oh god

[bobbiwibble]

i cant... im sorry i just cant
im sorry

[shadow-light]

try to stay calm. the calmer you are the less likely for tonight to be like yesterday

[Left in the centre]

it is sweetie.
and i know its upseting, but its not your fault, you were just taken advantage of many many times.

but your a surviver and you'll get through it once you can stop blaming yourself

[bobbiwibble]

i was naughty and drink beer

but people tell me to stop drinking but they no realise that it keep me alive when i get scared at nights

its like how you cant stop someone cutting until you solve the problem or find another outlet - it isnt enough just to be disapproving

i do feel better now, so much better, thats the trouble...

[shadow-light]

I understand that... it makes sense.
nights are hard :(


but alcohol really won't help, like cutting, very short term fix...

in what way does it help you? like does it distract you or help you sleep... or whatever

[bobbiwibble]

i dunno.. always had problems like that... alcohol or food, sugar, caffeine, nicotine anything

it isnt like a distraction, its like everything just flows a bit smoother

i get less scared

i know alcohol isnt a long term fix but im not being OFFERED a long term fix

then again cutting doesnt cost £5 :S

[bobbiwibble]

scrub scrub scrub but it no come off

feel slightly better for being curled up in patrick's hoodie... is that ****ed up? we broke up quite a while ago. but he said he didnt mind, but i think he thought i was joking.

it so big i can hide in it

make me calm

make me normal

oh please god make me normal

[bobbiwibble]

help help help squealing little piggy
attention seeking WHORE

but


nevertheless

please


please oh god pease help im going under ive never had such intense pain last this long its more than i can take

[Diamonds.]

Roberta? I thought we we're getting somewhere. You dont have to worry. But you need to go to the police. You know i cant help you anymore then i have, im not close enough. Ill travel down to Kent if i need to.

[shadow-light]

how are you today?

[bobbiwibble]

*shivers*

little better

i'm messing with my own head so it's my fault

Rebecca and Hazel you have both helped me so much, I'm very sorry :( I don't know what to say because when people are nice to me I am meant to get better.

I will be okay though, I will go to the appointment next Tuesday but I will tell her that there are things I cannot talk about and I will stick to that *nods*

[Left in the centre]

im glad your still planning on going to the appointment
and that you are being supported.

the police - thats an option you should consider hun -
or a friend or someone ?

hang in thre
x