I always look at peoples arms too. I've known a few people who had scars that were clearly from SI (although I never mentioned it to them), and I ended up staring at their arms a lot, which I always felt bad about since it probably made them uncomfortable and such. But like whenever I meet someone new, or see someone in short sleeves for the first time (which happens just cause it's cold and such) I always check their arms for scars, even my professors and therapists and such. Although when I think about it, I really only look for scars on teenage girls and young-ish women (up to about mid/late 30s), even though I know perfectly well that loads of people who SI don't fit that category.
I also tend to look for cuts on my students' arms, but that's for totally different reasons (they're 11-14, so still kids really). I did see what I think were cuts on one girl's arm once, although it might have been red pen, but I didn't say anything at the time and didn't see her in short sleeves again (I was only there once a week, and it was cold out so long sleeves were totally normally), so I ended up not saying anything about it to her or her teacher. It kind of bothered me though that if she was cutting, there was a chance her teacher didn't know about it (not that I'd always think that would help, but the particular teacher I was working with I would trust to handle it well, and she has a lot more time with the kids than I do), and I potentially could have helped her somehow and didn't. So I think now I'm even more likely to look at my students' arms, cause there's some way that I'm hoping for kind of a second chance with that, to get it right this time.
Emily
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I do it all the time. It's one of the first things that I look for whenever i meet new people or even people that i already know. i look to see if there are still no scars or if one day they will be like me. I hope not but it's just always there. You're not weird. I think it's a natural thing for us to look and try to seek out people like us. I mean that's why we're on this site right? =)
I don't look for scars as such, but I will always notice one.
The other day I noticed a scar on my friend's arm. I casually asked about it, and she explained it was a burn from the side of an iron, and sighed and said she still gets funny looks from shop assistants when she goes to pay for things etc and finds it annoying. So it may have just been the iron...I was actually kind of hoping it was a SI scar so I could tell her about mine, but I thought it best to leave it. Maybe that's why we all search for scars on others? for the tangible reassurance we're not alone?
I am the same to , i was at my mates house party and my cousin was there just like week and i saw alot of faint scratches on her arms and i freak like 'omg does she SH!?' Later i asked her how she got the scratches and she said her sisters puppy.
I am doing a partial program and noticed one girl was wearing wither a jacket or arm things. Well come to find out she is a recovering si'er and so was another women there... It was kinda nice to know I wasn't the only one in the area who si'd...
Big Sister:Squiggles Little Sister: PaintItBlack Cousins: dereksarah, Hollz
then theres one girl who just walks around with arms that are covered in fresh cuts. The same girl often has a gash across her throat, poor thing. I sorta know her through a friend so does anyone think it would be appropriate to tell her about RYL.
i would say, if you feel comfortable talking to her about it, maybe it might be helpful to her. or maybe just slip it into a casual conversation, like hey, you should check out this website, recover your life. or if you didnt want to talk to her about it, perhaps you could pass her a note with the web address or something.
I look for scars/cuts etc too.
If there are scars/cuts, I try to examine them to see if they could have been self inflicted & signs that it is self harm.
I try not to, becuase i instantly find it triggering, especially if there scars are really bad, it makes me feel like i need to go deeper to actually be a "real" self harmer" so yeah...
Do not adjust your mind, there is a fault in reality
I do it too. I seem to have a subcontious desire to see other people's scars and feel less alone.
May you grow up to be righteous,
May you grow up to be true,
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you.
May you always be courageous,
Stand upright and be strong,
May you stay forever young
Feel free to message me if you ever need ANYTHING
HA! yes i do this too. Im not sure why. i think because when SI is a part of your life, its something that can consume you. kinda like when u buy a new car, and then you see the same car all over the place. its because its in your mind and you are more alert to it. does that make sense?
There was a girl in my class last year who i noticed one day had raised scars on her arm. My mind wondered to the though of...is she a self injurer. i convinced myself no and said they were probably from an accident or something. Well one day she was standing in front of me talking with someone and i saw her scars again and saw they were all over the place kindof like how mine are.
Of course i could never ask her, it would make me and probably her uncomfortable.
Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, i think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat
-Mother Theresa
I actually met one of my best friends in a weird way like this. We had never met... but we were both on the same kind of society. At a meeting my tights rode up and showed my shins. She looked at me and said.. Nice battlescars. I laughed it off. Few nights later we were out drinking and someone made an SI joke.. we all kind of laughed but then she leaned into me and said "No, its not funny is it?" and i was like "No. Its not." She showed me hers after she saw mine. We kind of bonded over it.
Now were the best of pals!
"They say time heals all wounds. I don't agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessons, but it is never gone." - Rose Kennedy
