hey,
dont pressure yourself! something this good is totally worth the wait. whenever you get a chance to work on it , then take it. but dont worry about it.
be safe
xoxo,
laterz
Everyday they go to sleep hoping that when they wake up it'll be different... and everyday they wake up to see that hope is not there...
Okay, heres the next chapter. Sorry its taken me so long. And sorry its not all that long.. I'll try get another chapter done later tonight....
Chapter Four Back to school.
I wake with a start as I play the events that unfolded over a week ago now. Its been the same dream every night ever since then. Waking with a start at exactly seven in the morning everyday but theres one difference today. I'm back at school. I get myself up, showered and dressed into my school uniform by seven-thirty and make my way downstairs and give my dad that look that i've been giving him every morning for the past week and a bit
'Your not putting it off any longer Laura, your going to school today' my dad says steernly.
"Can't I stay and look after the little ones again dad?" I ask him and he sighs loudly
'Laura, no, your going to school. You've not been in over a week and you have your exams soon, you need to be there' dad explains to me as i feel my eyes filling up with tears 'if we hear anything from the hospital, i'll let you know, okay?' I nod and pick up my bag and walk out, only saying bye to the little ones.
I'm ten minutes late by the time I've walked to school, I stopped by Chris's house to see if he was in, but there was no answer. Either they actually weren't in or dad told them not to answer the door if they thought it was me, so school is my last option. I guess my dad's right, I do need to be in here to be able to take my exams soon, but i'm sure they understand, I mean who's mum tries to kill themselves? None of my friends mum have tried that any time soon, no one's mum at school has, infact. I'm sure they don't expect me there, I could turn around and go and sit in a park, but seeing as I'm here, I might aswell see how it goes, right?
I walk into the form room and everyone goes quiet and looks at me, including John who looks more suprised than everyone else put together that i'm back
'Sorry i'm late miss, I.. um' I shrug my shoulders then sit down, next to John
"It's okay Laura. We're just going through the timetable for the exams. Its nice to have you back with us" Miss Bower says to me and smiles then carries on talking to the rest of the class "Right then, I've given you all your time tables now. Exams start in two weeks, understand? two weeks! That means you have to work extra hard and try not to have any time at all of, okay class?" All the class mumble at the same time then turn and talk in their groups. I can feel John's eyes staring into the back of my head as I focus on my timetable *if your going to talk, talk*
"how are you Laura?" he asks me
'just fine thanks, how about you?' I say to him sarcastically, looking up at him now
"I was on.."
'only asking how i was, yeah I know' I snap at him before he can finish what hes saying
"Sorry.." he says to me sheepishly
'Sorry for what exactly? Sorry for not getting in touch for over a week now or sorry for asking how i am?' he looks at me almost shocked and I laugh 'thought as much' I stand up and grab my bag and walk out the class room, my form teacher following behind me
"Laura wait" She shouts out to me as she follows quickly down the corridor. I stop and turn to face her trying to stop myself from bursting out in tears "Laura, I know about your mum, I'm so sorry"
'who cares hey? it doesn't matter does it? just as long as i'm here for these stupid exams what does it matter?' I wrip up the sheet of paper that has my timetables on it and the bell rings for class
"This isn't like you, please come back to my class, i've got a free period now we could talk" Slowly the corridors fill up with pupils and I see John and Lousia coming up behind our teacher
'I don't want to talk... to any of you, okay? John, I never want to see you again and Louisa? I'm sorry for not telling you anything that was happening at home, I'm sorry that I've been such a **** friend to you, but I'm not going to stop here and listen to people talking about me all day and i'm not going to watch people sneering at me. I don't want to take my stupid exams, forget it' I throw the torn up paper in the air then run down the corridor and out of the school, in tears now.
After walking for ten minutes I come to the park and sit on the slide. I've never seen the park so empty, theres no one here, just me. It kind of shows how i feel right now in my life. I'm sat watching things go by, these cars and some people walking in the street, each one of them staring at me and shaking their heads. *keep shaking your heads at me, keep on shaking them*. I sit crying to myself for what must be at least thirty minutes when I see a figure walking up to me from the gates of the park; It's Miss Bower.
"I can go if you want me to" she says quietly and I shake my head "John told me where I might be able to find you" She hands me a hanky and sits by me on the other slide thats next to me
'thanks' i say to her as i wipe my eyes with the cloth
"do you want to talk about whats happened?" she asks me and i shrug my shoulders "I know how you feel Laura" I laugh at her saying this
'how could you possibly understand how i'm feeling?' I say to her
"my mum killed herself when I was sixteen years old" I look at her and she nods at me
'my mums not dead' i say to her and she smiles slightly
"isn't that a good thing?" i shrug my shoulders and start crying again
'sorry..' i say to her as I cover my face with my hands
"you have nothing to be sorry for" she says to me "lets go sit on that bench over there" I stand up and follow her to the bench thats to the side of the park. We sit in silence for almost ten minutes when she starts talking again
"She did it when I was at school one day, my dad found her. They had to come and get me from my lesson, as soon as I saw my Grandma there, I knew something was wrong"
'I wish i didn't see it' i say quietly
"that must of been horrible for you Laura, i'm so sorry" Miss Bower sits and listens to me talking about my mum and everything she said to me for about half an hour. With me crying on and off, i'm sure it was almost impossible to understand but she still sat there and listened, nodding every now and then and muttering a slight mmmm. It feels good to sit and talk to someone, I haven't had the chance to do that since it happened. No ones wanted to sit and listen to me. No ones wanted to help me.
"John has been talking to me about you every day, he really cares for you, you know?" I nod
'he just left and never got back in touch with me, not once' i say, crying again
"he wasn't sure if you would want him to, so i told him to give you some space" Miss Bower explains to me, it fits really
'i'll never forgive myself for letting him see that' I say to her and she hugs me; its suprising what a simple hug can do.
"he never once mentioned anything that he saw, he just said that he doesn't want you to be alone and hes scared your going to hurt yourself again" *hurt myself? he knows? she knows?*
'how does .. he know?' I ask her
"he saw a couple of weeks ago and he confided in me"
'i bet you think i'm just a messed up teenager don't you?' I say to her and shakes her head
"not at all, you've been through alot" she checks her watch then looks at me "are you ready to come back to school? I can always phone your dad once we're there to come and get you" I nod at her and stand up "i came in my car, so we'll drive there"
'Miss?' I say as i'm about to get into the car
"Yeah?" she replies
'Thank you for this, it helped' she smiles at me and opens the car then sits down
"If you ever need to talk you know where to find me okay?" she asks me and I nod. She drives us back to school then rings my dad as soon as we get there. I sit in the staff room which only has my Maths teacher in there whos concentrating on her book thats in front of her. After about five minutes Miss Bower comes into the staff room with a cup of hot chocolate and puts it on the table infront of me
"I thought you might like a drink" She says to me with a smile on her face
'Thanks' I say as I sip at it
"your dad said he'll be here as soon as he can, he's taking your brother and sister to your Grandma's then he's coming here, I said we can sort through a plan to make sure you don't fall to far behind in your lessons" I nod and carry on drinking my hot chocolate. We sit in silence until my dad gets there when as soon as he sees me, he rushes up to me and hugs me tightly.
'I'm so sorry Laura' he says to me and i wrap my arms around him.
Last edited by x-mixedemotions : 24-08-2007 at 02:38 AM.
Reason: mistakes.
**If You Love Someone Or Something Enough, Set Them Free.**
I hope i didn't put people off reading it by taking so long to put another chapter up! so sorry about that guys!
I'm going to do one chapter a week
that way, i can deal with things that are happening at the moment and make sure that its spell checked etc (i didnt with the last chapter so if theres any mistakes, thats why!)
Again sorry that it took so long to put another one up
hope people still like this!!
Mixed
xxx
**If You Love Someone Or Something Enough, Set Them Free.**
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
hey sorry i havent updated again yet, i will this weekend. works been hectic and some stuff going on is making it difficult to. but i will this weekend, more than likely tomorrow. agian sorry, keep looking back xx
**If You Love Someone Or Something Enough, Set Them Free.**
