I just asked my hubby to read this post, and he started to and then stopped reading it and told me, "no offense dear, but getting inside your head is not something that I want.... it makes me hurt..."
*cries*
*holds*
A little angel fell into my arms at the 7th of december 2010
There are two people who live in my head.. one man and one little girl
The man is a sadist and he does bad things to me sexually, and he also hurts the little girl. Ive never actually seen him before.. ive only heard his voice and had those horrible tactile hallucinations.
The little girl is my daughter. Ive never been pregnant or had a daughter but for some reason i call her my daughter. Her name is Samantha. I can see her but i cant hear her voice or hold her. Sometimes i hear her scream in my sleep. She is beautiful but she has scars and bruises all over her, and she can barely walk without falling over.
^^^
Personally, i'd class any form of physical manifestation of an entity as a hallucination, no matter if they are simple 'flash' images or actual persona's which have formed a corporeal/incorporeal form.
A big *HUG* to everyone posting in or viewing this thread.... if you want someone safe to talk to... just PM me
Thank you for all having the courage to reply to this thread, it helps me to see that I am not alone in my hallucinations.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
well considering im a paranormal junkie and im obsessed with demon possession i cant determine what is hallucinations sometimes and whats not and the one i know is a hallucination i cant share because its really scary and dangerous.
i tend to see myself doing things though and for that moment i completely forget where im at or what im doing...like sometimes when we (my son and i) are out walking around our 'pond' (which is HUGE)...i see myself turn, walk out into the middle of the water and just not fight and then i see my son standing there scared and confused and then i must jerk or something and it snaps me out of it and i remember that im walking again...or once (for an example) i was standing outside playing with my son and i caught a glimpse of the neighbors house and i started to get so mad at them..which i have no idea why cause they have never done anything to us and have been kind to us..and i just was standing there picturing myself yelling and swearing at them and just wanting them dead and then i heard my son yell..MOMMY and that snapped me out of that...i go into trances like that a lot though and its scary cause i dont even know what im doing at that moment or if im doing it outloud or not...i still dont know if those were outloud or just in my head and i dont know what my son is doing at those moments
I have looked for the definition of 'hallucinations' on the internet i didn't and i don't want to believe that i have a problem after all i don't see people or i don't hear any voices that tell me to do things !
All i do is flashing lights,spots,shadows,shatterted dark clouds,yes i've seen rarely other stuff like hands coming out of the ground but does that count it was for few times?
And today i was talking to my friend and she was like this can get worse ,how can this get worse? She said that her aunt that is diagnosed with schizophrenia she used to see small things then she started to see people and hear voices that tell her to do things !
Just ugh :(
A little angel fell into my arms at the 7th of december 2010
Bound by Thoughts, what you described is very similar to how my 'voices' are. I don't like calling them voices though because I don't hear them through my ears. They just happen to be in my head. I prefer to just say 'they' or 'them' or 'my head'. They're noisy but it's often hard to hear exactly what they're saying but I know what they mean. Sometimes it's clearer. I get buzzing noises in my head too and my head feels like it's going to explode. That's usually when the voices are about to start shouting at me. They're getting worse at the moment and I mentioned it a little bit to my mum last night and now they're very angry with me. They're telling me everyone is going to hate me now and I have to shut up and go away. I'm sorry.
i sound really odd but its the hoover that does it for me.. i dont hullucinate but i do here voices and, when i am highly anxious i go into a state where i think there are hundreds of people in the house hiding from me just waiting to get out and kill someone.
sorry if i sound stupid.
i hope that yo all start to feel better soon... it is a good idea o yours to do this thread steel maiden.
lots of love and best wishes Jen xxx
Here is an angel of healing i drew for everyone needing that extra hope... God bless you all and i wish you a speedy recovery...
Since I started reading books again (about half a month after my hospital discharge) my voices have been reading out the words in the book so reading effectively feels like someone reading the book to me as opposed to me reading the book.
I still see the men in suits and I still hear derogatory voices and voices that command me to do crazy things or remind me of bad memories.
I also hallucinate people and my pet cat.
But not as bad as it used to be, by far.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Until I read a thread on another forum, I had thought
That various things I heard and saw
Were perfectly normal.
I'm kind of not sure now, as ridiculous as that sounds. I don't get hallucinations, not proper ones, I know that. I know it. But I'd like to know about hallucinations - what counts as one. They still would not be "proper" ones though.
I have a really vivid imaginations, but when I imagine something I do know, even if it's scary, that it's not really there. With these, they seem very real.. but they make no logical sense and so I conclude that it's a trick of the light, eyes going funny, and so on. Or else I only realise afterwards.
And I'm sure they're all completely normal ones, or else caused by sleep problems, but I'd like someone, even so, to explain exactly what a hallucination would be.
My Uncle has some sort of mental illness. He gets hallucinations, but when he does they are really drastic ones and he must do something when he sees them because the people around him are almost as scared as he is by it. I base that all on the only circumstance where he got a hallucination that was described to me.. I know it's not the only time, though, and I can only presume other times were similar.
Thank you for posting EgoLaniatus. I am haunted every day by auditory and visual hallucinations, but I cope somehow. Thanks for the concern though.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Steel, what did you think of my explanation of what i see and hear?
Can you describe what you see and hear in detail? I appear to have lost your post.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
i hear many many voices 4 are clear though
i see many many people, i know none of them, like, some people can see things from films or their past, mine are never known to me,
the clearest voices are male..
1voice says horrible things i'd never repeat,
1 says i'm fat, evil and nobody likes me -which i now believe coz he's said it so often,
1 says i'm useless and a burden on everyone around me as all i do is eat sleep and worry people, and cost them money and resources eg he's telling me right now that by using this laptop i'm wasting electricity and thus also money - he's saying it'd be better for everyone if i were dead..he says that day and daily,
1 says urgh...i can't go there either just now...
maybe later,
p.s. thanks for this thread...i don't feel too alone now
"I need some distraction or a beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight"
Well as far as i have been told - illusions is what my previous psychiatrists call them. I since have had to go and look up the definition because i thought what on earth.
Its when you hear or see something thats within a stimuli. For example, you may hear voices in running water.
I have heard voices before when i've turned on dryers to dry my hands...so i see where the illusions fit.
The only thing is when i see things, there isn't really a stimuli i can find that can account for it...so am confused.
Hallucinations happen with the absence of stimuli.
The best description you'll find in the DSM, or ICD, the net is crap for explaining.
What i see are people [mainly men which are scary because they seem evil and angry] i've seen a little girl stood next to my mum, mum did not know there was any thing there. I see faces, which their emotions change on their face, often screaming, crying those ones mainly women, the sad ones i see are mainly men. Figures also describes it. I see skulls to. They all become distorted too.
My other half came up with a word thats is about the only way i can describe them, they look like spirits because i can see through them.
Many years ago when i first started experiencing these i saw a face appear out of a wall, like a spirit but it was so vivid i could not see through it.
I used to see them all the time during the day and night. Now i mostly see them at night. I get very scared walking from my room to the bathroom and back, i have to make sure i don't look up, or there stands a figure/person a man, and they are not happy with me.
I think that your hallucinations (what you see) reflect how you feel inside. You have inner turmoil and they are coming out through your hallucinations.
Have you talked seriously with your doctor about this?
Are you on any medication?
I think that you need to address these things that you see with your doctor as they worry me.
Sorry I can't be much help.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Some young man (not the usual man which is strange, maybe he died, he was quite old??) just said something horrible to me, disgusting, he's not in the room again, he's hiding like the other man did, says his name's James =( I don't want to say what he said because someone will get triggered, but it made me lose my breath for a few seconds. I am getting a headache from the woman screaming. I think they are together, as in a couple. This is all so confusing. I'm not going to tell anyone because he doesn't want me to.
Here is an angel of healing i drew for everyone needing that extra hope... God bless you all and i wish you a speedy recovery...
