Triggering (SI/Suicide) - Sorry But.i Really Need Help Now...*od** HUGE SI WARNING* - Page 3

CoffeeawakestheArtist · 22-07-2008, 04:20 PM

My Mum is going to Spar now,
thanks lottie,
I thoughts CAMHS were pretty big, I don't know if I could phone the office
I would be crying hysterically on it, and you wouldn't be able to understand me. Besides, they obviously don't care about me.
I'm having the counsellor session tomorrow
but my Mum and Dad are both coming,
and they want me taken into any sort of care.
So they don't have to worry about me anymore.
My Mum is going now, for about 15 mins.
that gives me enough time.
xx

I have a smile on my face now

CoffeeawakestheArtist · 22-07-2008, 04:22 PM

I don't think I have enough confidence to call another helpline,
I'm too scared they will hate me, and that they will want to speak to my parents.

Tig · 22-07-2008, 04:28 PM

Enough time for what sweetie? I'm probably thick! x

CoffeeawakestheArtist · 22-07-2008, 04:40 PM

I couldn't find any pills in the house, I ended up cutting instead.
I only did one but it really stings, I don't want to wash it out, I want to bleed. Sorry to trigger anybody. I'll put a trigger SI on the thread. It's not 'that deeep' I know I'll want to cut into it later.
Especially at night- Can't they see how unsafe I fucking am.
It doesn't need steri strips or anything.
I'm not sure if it is gaping or not, but I don't think so
xxx

Tig · 22-07-2008, 04:46 PM

Hugs. x

CoffeeawakestheArtist · 22-07-2008, 05:08 PM

*hugs you tight* back
xx

Stellata · 22-07-2008, 06:01 PM

I'm home now.

It's not so long until you see your therapist tomorrow. I know it feels like forever right now, and you feel really abandoned. But I'm pretty sure she cares and is concerned about you - what human being wouldn't?

Therapists can't call their clients all the time to check up on them. That's why there's crisis lines, a and e departments - and RYL! Your therapist's job is to support you in your sessions, and help you get coping skills to manage between sessions, and of course to help you understand yourself better.
It's nothing personal against you she's not called, I'm more than sure. A therapist isn't like a friend or family member. It's hard that way, but it's true.

Why is it you want to bleed? How are you feeling emotionally? How's your body feeling?

p.s. I really like your sig pic.

Fidget · 23-07-2008, 07:46 AM

Hannah, Hannah, spent most of last night wondering how you are (and cursing lack of internet).

23-07-2008, 10:29 AM

i dont know you, but i just want you to know im thinking of you

please be safe, and you can pm me anytime

x

CoffeeawakestheArtist · 23-07-2008, 12:51 PM

Thanks everyone!
I found out something...
everyone might be mad at me for this.
My appointment is tomorrow, not today!
Which means I got so worked up over nothing, however if she doesn't come today, would it be okay if I kept posting on this thread for support?
xx

Stellata · 23-07-2008, 01:20 PM

Post here as much as you need.

We're here for you.

Scarlet Angel · 23-07-2008, 01:37 PM

Hey Hannah, how are you feeling today? I know you don't know me, but I'm here if you ever need to chat! Just PM me. Sending you lots of hugs
*hugs*hugs*hugs* xx

Sleepless123 · 23-07-2008, 02:49 PM

Please keep posting Hannah and is an easy mistake to make about the appointment especially at times when you are distressed.i have done that kind of thing before too!!Hang on in there and i hope the counsellor/therapist can be some use.They really should help you.Please be honest with them and i hope you give in your excellently written letters too!You know where i am if you need me. x