i pick at myself...and it sucks. I've been doing it since about the same time i started to cut..which has been 11 years now. But lately it's getting really bad..probably the worse that it has ever been. I've been picking at places that i can't hide, like my arms..which i have never done before. At least with my legs i could hide them. Now it's almost 100 degrees outside here and i think it would be better if i wore a hoodie..for everyone involved. I feel so gross. I hate how everyone is just like "stop doing it"..but it's not that easy. I'm trying the best that i can..i just need help..some serious help before i get some horrendous infections or something. I already have a few infections but i'm on antibiotics so i figured that would take care of them.
Sorry i went off on a rant, but i just needed to vent!
Sorry i went off on a rant, but i just needed to vent!
(((hugs))) don't worry...
that's one reason this thread is here...
to serve as a sounding board for our rants about OFOSH...
and to offer encouragement...
and to help us realize that no matter what form of self harm we struggle with, we are not alone!!!!
We're all in the same game;
Just different levels.
Dealing with the same hell;
Just different demons.
This may sound disgusting but I pick at my psoriasis and exzema till its raw and bleeding and then have a shower. It kinda makes it sting more. Im sick! I wrist bang, and run into walls too.. Its good to know that there are other people here with the same problem so Im not alone... Im recovering at the minute but I still pick aat my skin whenever I get anxious..
^ you're definitely not alone. i'm glad you're recovering now, i find it difficult to control when i'm anxious too, have you tried running your fingers up and down the skin you would normally be picking at, so you're actively doing something but it's not damaging?
and amanda! hello! look how well received your thread has been :)
Even as the stone of the fruit must break
that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.
There are only two ways in which one can live their life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is.
I'm an OFOSHer...I was scared about joining RYL too, I wasn't doing anything really serious, I thought. But my scars haven't gone away and it's been 3, maybe 4 months. My mom's starting to notice, it's scary. I need to stop, but I don't know if I want to right now.
I'm outside your picture frame, and the glass is breaking now...
Aside from the regular cutting, I wrist bang too.
My wrists have bruises around them now that I cover with bracelets to keep people from noticing.
Also I pick at old cuts, re-opening them. I actually caught myself doing it last night at my therapy session!
for a very long time i have been wondering whether or not it counts that i don't really cut. i scratch/wound interference, and this is an amazing thread to show support for people who don't do the most common forms of SI.
I only just noticed it was here today because it was the last thread comented on. didn't see how long it had been since anyone posted or anything. sorry.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare,
As any she belied with false compare.
We aren't going to close it, its still relevant to people. Its more like the 'room' threads rather than a specific member asking for advice on a specific personal problem of theirs. I hope that makes sense.
Just please remember this rule when posting:
Quote:
Please do not share any information on methods to self-harm or any tips, including the best ways/places to self-harm. Discussion of techniques that people have not yet heard of encourages them to then go and try them and must be avoided at all times. Information on scar reduction and preventing / reducing the risk of infection, however, are very much allowed and encouraged.
For example : "I find it works best when I do ...", "If you cut yourself on your XXX then even your doctor wouldnt see it" , “If I took X amount of pills – would it kill me?”.
When I was very little (too little to know what self harm even was), I used to wrist bang. And then when my mental illness developed I would scratch, and have only recently started cutting. When people ask me when I started self harming I never used to count the wrist banging, but now I guess I should, even though I didn't know what I was doing at the time.
I have the tendency to pull out hair when I'm stressed. It's embarrassing, especially when I had to restyle my hair to hide it. I pick at my scalp too till it bleeds, and I bite. I only headbang when I am very distressed. This all started when I tried to stop cutting. In other words, I'm pretty disgusting.
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Haven't done it many times, but if I get really angry and need to get the energy out, I have asthma, so I run so hard that I almost get knocked unconscious. Pretty infrequent but I've used it before.
Thank you so much for posting this! I can really relate to this as my main method of SH is hitting. Sure it's not as common as cutting, but is still dangerous and just as important. When I was a kid, I would self-harm before I knew what self-harm was. I'd pull my hair, hit myself, bang my head, slam my fists into things, etc. In my teens I started cutting which led to scratching.
Hitting became my main method last summer when things were getting to be too much. The bruises were small at first and it didn't take much force for me to get relief. Since then, though, it escalated, and the bruises became huge. Now I hit myself with objects and it takes weeks for the bruises to fade.
For me, hitting got to be just as addictive as cutting is to others. I genuinely want to stop, but it's proving difficult. This thread lets me know that I am not alone.
Last edited by Celticroots : 23-04-2012 at 05:20 AM.
Reason: more info.
The more I think about it... the more I realize that SI in one form or another has always been there in my life.
When I was little, I would purposely interfere with wounds healing (picking my scabs ALL the time), open up blisters, etc. For a while I even pulled my hair out.
I started scratching for a while, and still do... will rub my skin raw in places, and more recently I would hit myself. On the head, arm, or leg.
Despite hitting myself hard multiple times in the same place... I am only just now starting to form a tiny bruise. As stupid and ridiculous as it is to say... I feel like I'm failing because I can't even bruise like normal people.
I also hit or kick things ,I`ve been bruising for 15 years , I did this averyday until I ended up breaking my foot , Then I stopped and then relapsed . Its very addicting . As a kid I picked at cuts and in my teens I burned myself .Glad to see were not alone
A positive additude is the way to go , Hope lives !
I already have a few infections but i'm on antibiotics so i figured that would take care of them.
