people round here just seem to look down on you if you have a baby under 30!
Xox
I was talking to a friend of mine about 2 years, not long after his son was born. My aunt had her baby later on in the year. He asked me how old she was and I said 28. His reponse was 'that's a bit young'.
I know afew people who have had teen babies.
However whilst I don't know the situation for alot of them I know one lass at work had her baby shortly after turning 18. She and the father had been together around a year when baby was born. They now live together whilst father works and she stays at home to look after the baby and that baby is certainly well loved and looked after!
A friend of mine had her baby at 18 and all. She knows the father but he was a stupid mistake, a rebound after breaking up with her boyfriend. The father wants nothing to do with them so she looks after the baby with the help from her family. She is currently a year into her course at university, with her brother and mother looking after baby whilst she is at uni and then she comes straight home and looks after baby every second she can spend with her.
Let me be the one you call
If you jump i'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn YOU'RE NOT ALONE
must have been. she had a condition which meant the onset of puberty came when she was very, very young. i saw a picture of her at 7 months pregnant on wikipedia, it was really scary to look at her, because she was just a baby herself but she had this big pregnant belly and breasts. she had the baby and kept him and he survived til he was in his 40's i believe. she also had another baby in the 70's, which was many years later as i think she originally gave birth in the 30's or 40's. what a strain it must have been on her body.
kids really shouldnt have kids, but i would never disrespect a very young mother, it really is admirable that they chose to have their child.
well, i was out in a shopping centre yesterday with my younger sisters and my dad and stepmother asked me to watch them while they went somewhere. people were giving me the dirtiest looks ever because as i said before, i look very young and i am clearly pregnant so walking around with a preggy belly, with my 7 month old sister in the pram and my 9 year old sister by my side, i think people just assumed i was their mother.
"When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you" - Dr Samuel Loomis
yeah its like people arnt allowed to walk about with younger people in thier family without being looked down on, next time jus go up and say "have you got a problem", it always works :)
And about the 5 year old, her father was charged with rape but ti was dropped due to lack of evidence, although the girl has never said who the father of her child was, and weather she agreed to it or not (although either way it would have been satatory rape (sp))
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
yeah, i just tend to stare them out, knowing me i would go up to the wrong person and get knocked out lol.
as for the little girl, it could have been nothing but rape, a 5 year old (or was she even 4 at the time of conception?) can not consent to sex, they are not mentally equipped to make that kind of decision at that age.
"When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you" - Dr Samuel Loomis
Something needs to change -- stop providing council houses & free money to anyone under 16/18 that has a baby & when all their friends see how much of a struggle it is they'll keep their ****in knickers on or use a friggin condom.
I saw a girl in Tesco's of about 15/16 who was heavily pregnant, wearing really childish pink clothes. She was with her parents & younger brother & they were all going about their business as usual... I was so shocked.
but are you sure she was 15/16 or did she just look that way? i wouldnt be surprised if i was mistaken for that age as before i fell pregnant (when tobacco was still on sale to those 16 and over) and i smoked i was regularly ID'd for cigarettes.
i do agree something needs to change though.
"When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you" - Dr Samuel Loomis
Im a teen mum myself, im 18, my daughter is 1 and a half.
I know what u mean about certain teen mums but i think the stereotypes are bad, i also know plenty of older mums who claim benefits too.
I did when i first had my daughter, but i was also at college full time, so people could easily misjudge me, when actually i was educating myself to help me and my daughter in the long run. I finished college and now im at home with her, but applying to university. Im also still with her dad and he works but we only just moved in together so not long been off benefits.
Also being on benefits didnt make me any less of a good mother. Im a great mum to my little girl, and right now i want to be at home and if that would mean claiming benefits then i would, Its important for me now to spend time with her, watching her grow up and teaching her things. What if the parents are at home just purely because they want to be, because they want to see their children grow up and learn, afterall that is what we have them for, not to work all hours god sends so we never see them. If i worked an average 9-5 job i'd see my daughter for 3 hours a day for me thats not enough.
Anyway, yeah we shouldnt all be put in same stereotype, we're all different just like any older mum or middle age mum, we can all make mistakes, we can all love our children the same, or not as the case may be.
Eventually when im finished university i will probably be paying a fair ammount of tax, and if that goes to supporting families then ill be glad, parents deserve to spend time with their children if thats what they wish and they cant live on nothing, some single parents who dont have a partner to support them need the money. Although if its a 2 parent family then i do agree one should be working.
Something needs to change -- stop providing council houses & free money to anyone under 16/18 that has a baby & when all their friends see how much of a struggle it is they'll keep their ****in knickers on or use a friggin condom.
Or use contreception. (which I believe is free because it's cheaper for the gobernment to do that, than it would be to provide benefits and council housing)
I saw a girl in Tesco's of about 15/16 who was heavily pregnant, wearing really childish pink clothes. She was with her parents & younger brother & they were all going about their business as usual... I was so shocked.
I was told a few days ago that I look about 15, and I'm actually 21, so don't assume everyone who looks like a teenager actually is. I still go places with my parents and younger sister, even though most of the time I'm away at school so it's not like I still live with my parents really, I wear pretty childish clothes sometimes (mainly because I barely fit into adult sizes, so most of my clothes are children's or junior's sizes), and I still act like a kid with little things like jumping down steps or stuff that people would probably see in passing even though I'm mostly pretty responsible and independent. So the point is that people can be older than they look, and she may not actually have been as young as you thought she was.
Also, you don't know the full circumstances of what was going on. She and her family may not have been happy about her pregnancy, but that doesn't mean that they're going to put their life on hold for nine months. Going about their business as usually doesn't mean that the pregnancy wasn't a big deal for them -- they've probably had months to get used to the idea, and they might fight about it every night or stuff, but they would still be able to go shopping just like everyone else. Also, remember that she might have been raped and didn't want an abortion, and she might be planning to give the child up for adoption (and incidentally, healthy newborns for adoption are in very high demand).
Emily
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I'm almost 20 and right now I wouldn't be ready to financially and emotionally look after a baby. But I in no way look down on people who do have children young. It's something I would never have wanted to do but as long as they're capable of supporting a baby and caring for it well.
It is really bad when anyone of any age gets pregnant just to be able to claim benefits, get a house etc. Surely it would be much better for them to go to college, get some qualifications and get a job to be able to support themselves instead of relying on other people to do that for them just because they have a child.
But it is bad how some people seem to think all teen parents are like this. One of my friends got pregnant when she was 18 but sadly lost the baby. She was desperate to try again and did get pregnant again but, again, she lost that baby. Then when she was 19 she got pregnant again and has him when she was still 19. She was working almost right up till she had him, his dad was working too. They adore their son and she's planning on going back to work this month. She's an amazing mum and I can honestly say she's a better mum than some much older people I know of.
But so many people have assumed that because she's spent some time off work to look after her son (he wasn't well for a few months) that she's just claiming benefits when that's not the case at all. She can't wait to get back to work at the moment.
And back last summer me and my best friend looked after one of her friends little boy for the day and the looks we got, me especially. She's 3 years older than me and looks a lot older than I do. But we were trying to carry the pushchair up some stairs. I was holding his hand while she was carrying his pushchair. I got some really filthy looks, some woman shoved right past, almost knocking my friends little boy over and tutted at me as she went past.
Just annoys me so much how some people assume all teen parents are the same when they're really not.
And back last summer me and my best friend looked after one of her friends little boy for the day and the looks we got, me especially. She's 3 years older than me and looks a lot older than I do. But we were trying to carry the pushchair up some stairs. I was holding his hand while she was carrying his pushchair. I got some really filthy looks, some woman shoved right past, almost knocking my friends little boy over and tutted at me as she went past.
And back last summer me and my best friend looked after one of her friends little boy for the day and the looks we got, me especially. She's 3 years older than me and looks a lot older than I do. But we were trying to carry the pushchair up some stairs. I was holding his hand while she was carrying his pushchair. I got some really filthy looks, some woman shoved right past, almost knocking my friends little boy over and tutted at me as she went past.
Wow... cause of course no one hires teenagers to look after their kids *rolls eyes*... it wasn't even your kid, and I don't know about in the UK, but here at least, babysitting is usually a teen job anyway...
Emily
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(> < ) This Is Bunny. Copy Bunny into your signature to help him on his way to world domination.
slightly off the topic of being able to support the kid etc etc, i was on a bus yesterday at around 1pm. It was a double decker and i kept hearing things drop on the floor upstairs. the bus driver was concerned as well cause he kept looking up his mirror tube thing.
anyway, about 5 mins later this girl, who cant have been any older that 16, came trudling down the stairs and shortly followed by what looked like her friend who was carrying a baby. They were both absolutley wasted and were stood up, while the bus was moving with this poor kid in thier arms.
I couldnt believe what i was seeing, and found it absolutley disscusting. It made me so mad.
if kids get pregnant they should take some damn responsibility, and not go round getting drunk, especially when the kid is with them. And if they were babysitting, then who the hell would leave their child with someone so irresponible? I still cant believe what i saw now
Oh this subject always makes me angry. With regards to the age, you can be a mum at any age and be a good mum. Likewise, you could be a mum in her thirties or forties could be a bad mum. It's not the age that's the issue, it's the parenting abilities. Also, with regards to the comment about benefits, which i feel is the real issue, then someone needs to tell this kid to get his backside into gear and get a job to support his family. Ok, some people generally require benefits, and child benefit is available for all parents, there is no excuse for anyone not to at least try to get a job to support a family. If the mum decides she wants to stay at home and raise the child until a certain age, then fair enough, or if she wants to work and is willing for the dad to be full time carer then fair enough. But one parent should at least be seeking employment before saying that the tax payers can pay for them.
