my mum is lending me the money to get a new washing machine. I've done my washing at her place in the meantime. I need to order the new one (I've been away this last week) this weekend. Hopefully the delivery time won't be too long.
Hmm. What do I enjoy doing? I like walking my dog, meeting up with friends, cooking, reading, watching tv
voices have been less which is good.
I got back from holiday this evening. It was a nice time away but Istruggled with anxiety a bit while away
the journey home took 5 hours in hte car (Mum was driving - I'm too anxious to drive) and I was very anxious about it. This evening I've been fretting about being watched and tracked.
Glad you've got a plan for the washing machine! I would say 'happy appliance shopping' but then remembered how bored I got shopping for a washer dryer so that would perhaps be too optimistic.
Hmm, would a nice evening where you get into PJs early, cook a nice meal and watch TV be a good treat? Even if that's something you do anyway, officially planning it as a treat evening might make it fun!
I'm glad you had a nice time away. You don't need to worry about being watched or tracked. You might say 'how on earth could a randomer on the internet know this?', but I'm basing it on logic- sadly our spies and intelligence services can't even keep track of all the verified threats to security, let alone a completely innocent person like yourself!
lol Jenna - I just went for the cheapest washing machine and it's being delivered on Weds morning
Yes I can treat myself to a nice evening with good food and TV.
thanks - I think being away and having a change of scenery did me good. I read 3 books the week I was on holiday which is unbelievable for me. I hadn't read a book since last May because of problems with concentration. I've started another book now I'm home. I'd really like to keep reading up if I can.
Yeah, am trying to use logic. It's just difficult.
My mum was wandering round looking at all of them and I just wanted the first one I saw that was reasonably priced and then go and do something more interesting! Glad you've got it sorted :)
That's brilliant that you've been able to get into reading again! What kind of books do you like?
It must be so difficult; you're doing really well.
I like crime, thrillers, chick lit. Although I've just started Mad Girl but am not enjoying it, so might give up on it. It's not really grabbing me. A bit concerned that now I'm back home I'll give up on reading again because I'm too distracted to sit down and concentrate on a book. Hmmm. We'll see.
I'm taking my dog for his annual injections and kennel cough treatment tomorrow morning. Then I'm at the chiropractor at lunch time as my back is bad & has been for a long time. It costs a fortune so I'm hoping she'll say I don't need another appointment or may be just one more.
tomorrow night I'm going to watch Man City v Liverpool with my Mum. I don't think City will beat Liverpool. We've been poor in past couple of games. But at least I'll have a legit reason for shouting and screaming lol
seeing cpn on wednesday. rest of week is pretty clear although think i'm meeting up with a friend on saturday
I've been quite busy today so looking forward to a rest on thurs/fri. When I get tired/stressed voices kick in and get worse and worries about the G's and being followed/watched gets worse
Was there a particular place while you were away that you found it easiest to focus on reading? Maybe trying to choose somewhere comfy in your house with minimal distractions and assigning it as your reading space would help to keep up the good habits. I'm afraid I don't read books of that genre; I was hoping we could share recommendations!
Sounds like you've got a pricey day today, I hope it all goes well and that you don't need too many further chiropractor appointments! Enjoy the football; I can imagine it being a good setting for getting some angsty energy out in the form of shouting! I hope being busy today doesn't cause you too much worry with the voices and such.
At the holiday cottage I read in the living room and in bed. I think if I had a book I was more interested in I'd read more easily so I'm going to shelve Mad Girl and read something else instead.
What genres do you like?
They've just delivered and installed my new washing machine :)
Yesterday was ok. The chiropractor thinks I might need a couple of more appointments. My next appt isn't until a week Saturday so that's not too bad.
The football was okish. We lost and got knocked out of Champions League but had a good shout. Unfortunately the area of the stadium we were in last night was a very noisy area with lots of chanting, shouting, singing and swearing. I like a shout and a sing but this was ridiculous.
Voices and thoughts weren't the best last night after the stress of noise at the football but not too bad this morning. Am seeing CPN this afternoon
That sounds like a good plan; I should really do that too instead of stubbornly trying to finish the book I've been struggling to read for a few years now I hope you find something fun and engaging to read :)
I mainly like the very specific genre of fostering memoirs! I also like Jodi Picoult and novels like that.
Hooray for washing machine, I'm glad it's all sorted.
Good to hear that yesterday and the football were OK, but that's a shame that they lost and your fellow fans got a little too involved. How did it go with your CPN yesterday?
started a different book but just can't face reading atm. I think I've read a Jodi Picoult novel but it was a while ago.
Yeah, thanks. I've done a wash in the new machine and it seemed to work ok so that's good.
It went ok with CPN. She says I'm doing all the right things and she said she can see I'm trying hard.
I don't feel that good atm though. Yesterday (Thurs) was not a good day. And yet again I'm awake in hte middle of the night. At least I can sleep in a bit this morning.
thanks Aubergine.
slept through last night but still felt tired throughout today. think it is the medication.
I see my CPN a week tomorrow (thursday)
she's away this week
anxiety has been quite bad and so last night I took a diazepam which seemed to help a bit. have taken another one tonight. just been feeling rotten really.
just need to get some decent sleep I think
last night slept for about 11 hours with no waking up which did me good today
I had a bbq with my mum tonight. tomorrow i'm may be going to visit a friend. just waiting to hear from her. but i need to mow the grass so will do that tomorrow if it's not raining
i did a meditation the other day which really helped. I'm going to do another one now.
So pleased to hear that you got some decent sleep and that meditation is proving helpful.
How did it go with your social plans? Funnily enough, I was also mowing the grass on Sunday, though it was my first time so I'm sure you had the situation much more under control than I did :P
my social plans went ok thanks but I didn't mow the lawn. Paid a gardener to do it.
I'm not feeling good.
I'm supposed to be meeting up with Uni friends this weekend. Was supposed to go tomorrow afternoon and come back Sunday but I'm not going until Saturday morning now because I don't feel good.
Sorry you're not feeling good :( Have you managed to head of to meet up with your friends? I hop that if you have gone, you're having a nice time and it's helped lift your mood a bit.
Hi.
yes I managed to get there and it was fine. It was good to see them and they were all supportive and kind as friends are.
Not seen them for 2 years but it was if I'd just seen them yesterday. They're a good bunch.
So am left feeling more positive and hoping this will continue.
On Friday I had my delivery of a Gratitude journal. I'm still reading the introductory info at the front of the journal but am looking forward to starting it as I think it'll help me feel more positive about life and more thankful for what I've got. This can only be a good thing!
Am still feeling tired/exhausted although I slept well at my friends house last night.
I'm hoping to start doing some volunteering at a charity shop. Just need to sort things out re days and times.
I did 4 hours with my Mum on Weds as she volunteers at this charity shop. 4 hours was too much and I felt quite ill afterwards for a couple of days both mentally and physically so I need to start off small. Am nervous about it but I think the structure in my week will be good.
I just read your RV as well, so pleased that it went well!
A gratitude journal sounds brilliant. I have a notebook where I write my 'positives' every day, and I find that really useful and I'm guessing a gratitude journal is similar? Let me know how you get on please :)
Volunteering at a charity shop sounds like a great thing to get involved with and it's good that you know now you need to start small. All the best with it; I hope you get something sorted and you can get started.
I hope you find something fun and engaging to read :)
