I don't know what happened yesterday. I was really freakin upset, and they not much later, I was really happy. Kinda scared me.
Now I feel numb.
I don't want emotions.
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
It sounds like your moods are changing quite quickly and unexpectedly at the moment - this can sometimes feel a bit like you're being thrown around by them. Could, if you feel your moods change like this again, you perhaps write down what might have triggered the change? This can sometimes help to manage mood swings.
Has anything in the last couple of days made these moods happen?
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
Well, my emotions have always been on the extreme end of the spectrum, but now I feel like it's out of control. Anger is extreme, so is sadness, and panic.
I had DBT yesterday, and right after that was church, and they weren't necessarily bad, just kind of stressful.
I struggle a lot at school, and I'm stressing out about the end of the year, especially because I have 2 D's and one C, and I'm stressed about those too.
Feel out of control
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
I used to have similar extremes of moods and emotions. Sometimes it helps to get into your logical mind-frame; so you're less connected to the extremes of emotion - to do this I usually do something that doesn't need emotions like crosswords, sudoku's, making lists, making timetables etc.
I'm glad DBT and church was okay - how are you finding DBT? I'm assuming you've gone through the emotional/rational (logical) mindsets?
Sorry to hear your school is making you stressed. Is there anything you could pro-actively do to help with this at all?
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
I've gotten a bunch of work from my teachers, but I'm not that smart, so it's just kind of stressful to get it all done.
I came into the spring session late, I was only there for the last two sessions, so I haven't learned anything really, but they're making do the summer session.
Not sure how I feel about it.
Being at school is stressful, because I've always got the blades with me, and I don't have second period, and I've cut during that before. I'm at lunch now, and I sit by myself, where I also cut sometimes.
Ugh
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
Could you speak to your teachers about the work and see if they can help you at all? Or a mentor/tutor etc?
Ah, fair enough. If it helps at all I found DBT really useful for both emotional control and self-harm behaviours. This site can be quite useful for these things.
I'm sorry you're finding school so stressful. Is there anything you can do during these times to distract you?
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
I did get a dog about two weeks ago, and she's a nice energetic puppy, so I take her for a walk/run every day after school, which is a nice stress reliever, but also stressful itself because she pulls and wants to sniff every single thing ever >.<
We've only got about two weeks left, and most of those days aren't full days.
I've gotten my grades up a little, one was an F, and now it's barely a D, so that's good I guess.
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
If I get caught, they'll know it wasn't meant for anyone else. They're tiny little blades, anyway.
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
As a side; I was found by police and they found some blades on me (small ones) and they said it didn't matter that I would use them on me, they'd still count it as carrying a weapon.
Anywho, I love puppies :) they make things better. Could you perhaps get some books on trying to train her? It can help you feel like you're being productive, shows you the progress you've made and distracts you. It'll also make walks/runs easier.
Well done on getting your grades up - it might not seem much to you but it is and you should be at least proud of doing that :)
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
But it's the only time I can getting away with cutting. I have to do it. I HAVE to. The only other time I can do it is at night, but then I get blood on the bed sometimes and forget to clean it up. I can't risk my parents finding it.
:(
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
Just be really safe. Remember- , and be careful to keep your things clean because you don't want an infection. I'm lucky I didn't get searched at school last year when my guidance counselour came up to me and said "Someone informed us they're concerned you might be cutting yourself in the school bathroom." Yikes. Just try to suppress the urges. There's the butterfly project, TWLOHA, the 15-minute strategy.
Last edited by Tig : 16-05-2014 at 09:46 AM.
Reason: Removing tip sharing information.
That's a good idea, slipping them there. The cop searched me right before they took me to the hospital a month ago, and then I got searched there, but I didn't have anything, and they didn't search my backpack.
I keep them pretty clean, so that's good.
I have the disgusting urge to cut deep right now. So deep that I'll need stitches.
So deep I could see the fat.
The bone.
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
(^ Just as an aside, I'm pretty sure that's against the rules as a blade will always be considered a weapon regardless of use and trying to hide it would make things worse and definitely make it seem like there was illegal intent.)
School is not a good place to be doing those sorts of things regardless of urges... It's extremely dangerous for so many reasons.
Yeah well some days I can't find it in me to give a fuck.
I'm tired of caring, tired of being here.
I can't do it anywhere else
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
I didn't mean to come across that way, all of your comments are greatly appreciated and considered.
I guess I'm using it as a support system, but mostly distracting myself from.... killing myself/ severely cutting.
I'm sorry.
You guys don't have to reply anymore.
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
I know it is upsetting that your friend told the school counselor but I think this could end up being helpful. If you are willing to engage with the school counselor perhaps they can help support you through this.
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
