I don't know it's very rare I go to ane unless it's a large overdose n I don't feel right It's weird I just like taking the tablets it's like an annoying friend that won't go away it just gets louder
What do you mean a annoying friend? It's it voices or visual hallucinations or what?
You say you 'like to take them' but what is it about you taking them that you like?
Do you think that taking them is a way to show you're struggling? When did you take them last? You said in Australia you couldn't overdose because you couldn't afford to go to hospital literally and emotionally (due you being with people), I know that it washarder not to overdosebut that shows you can avoid it . You have so much strength to avoid it there is there any way you can apply the skills you used there and all the skills you have learnt in dbt?
Has your social worker spoken to your psych to get a blood test to check the levels?
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My Dbt therapist describe it as annoying friend at a party that you can't get rid off who just gets louder when you ignore it
Sometime it's a way of showing that but I'm not distressed at the mo so there is no reason for me to take the overdose I think I'm addicted to the codiene
Took one Thursday but it was a small one
I really think it's the codiene in it cus it's cocodamol I overdose on so I'm going to the gp tomorrow and talk to them as it's a new go
Yh she was getting one for me yest so I'll pick it up Friday wen I see her I might Phone her today
Hey sorry just seeing this now. I wanted to post to let you know you're not alone in this. I used to regularly take small ods, to the point where my parents had to hide all my medication (and their own for diabetes) away from me, and the doctors refused to give me many tablets at a time, which resulted in a lot of annoying visits to the pharmacy instead of the monthly visit I make now.
I also want to tell you that YES, you can get through and over this. First though, I relate to you, that "annoying friend" was like this really strong urge to od for me. Like the thought wouldn't get out of my head until I did it. It was more a form of self harm for me than suicide attempt (although sometimes it was that too) it might be hard to understand but it gave me the same sense of control that cutting and starving gave me, like I was actually doing something about how I felt. Of course, it's false control, when really I was out of control with it. I wouldn't go to a and e or tell anyone either, I've even gone into work the next day and no one knew.
But yeah eventually it all caught up with me and I ended up in hospital. It broke my parents heart and putting them through that was the biggest deterrent to ever doing it again. Yes I still got that urge for a long time after but I never gave into again. It's just not worth hurting people you care over. Now I haven't done it in years. I hope this gives you some hope to try work on it. Good luck with the doctor and blood tests etc. I really hope you haven't damaged yourself.
Maybe reminding yourself of your username might help, you only live once and you're too special and precious to risk your life over this.
It sounds like what your GP said is perhaps what is going on, when you are addicted to a substance, it can be a very rocky road to fighting that addiction, but it is indeed possible!
With the right support, and seeing the drugs team, I have no doubts at all that you WILL get through this.
It sounds like you could also be addicted physically, as well as mentally, and although the withdrawal may be absolute hell, it WILL pass, and eventually, you will be able to cope without this addiction and without taking codeine.
When you say you enjoy the "buzz" these small overdoses give you, it does sound like you are addicted to this "buzz", but remember, when you are addicted to something, you will have to do more and more to achieve that same "buzz" you got the first time you did this, and the more you try and achieve that, the more you are at risk of harming yourself dangerously and severely.
I hope you will post on here if you ever need support, too, because weening yourself off a drug you are addicted to/rely on to cope, can be extremely stressful/distressing, so please keep posting, or PM me, if you need support/advice/just a hug!
Take care of yourself, and well done on getting help, you should be very proud of yourself.
xxx
I know completely what you mean, withdrawal from any medication is Hell with a capital H, however, if you do take a couple now, that means you will have to go through this again and again and again, which I'm sure you do not want.
Withdrawal WILL eventually settle, you should feel a lot better soon, if it doesn't ease, could you go back to the doctors and tell them about how it is making you feel, how long it will take for it to go away, and anything that could help you feel better?
Are you able to ask for anything that could help with the withdrawal?
Or anything that could ease it?
Keep strong, you can do this.
Just remember - if you take a couple now, it will ruin how far amazingly you've come, and you'll have to go through all of this again, so is it really worth it?
