The line between severe hypomania and mania is quite blurred.
The team I was under during my worst hypomania had requiring inpatient as one of the factors for reclassifying it as mania. They were suggesting an admission but I refused so the episode remained as hypomania but had I agreed to go in it would probably have been changed to mania.
To a certain degree the labels are just semantics.
I suppose it can be quite difficult to tell sometimes.
And I guess it depends on the team as well and what they think is an episode or not?
I don't really fully remember what happens during an 'episode' so it's hard for me to tell what kind of level it gets to. I'm reluctant to use any terms like hypomania or mania because I'm still not sure if I just make it up, or if I'm just acting a bit erratically and maybe that's just how I am, personality wise.
I may just be over-thinking it all though!
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Yeah, I once had a GP tell me I seemed in a good mood whilst I was sat there crying. A bit of a dark art rather than an exact science.
I don't think you are alone in being reluctant to use terms, I tend to use terms like elevated and low rather than hypomania and depressed.
Did you get a mood checker app in the end? Rating my mood is the main way I got my head around my illness. When there is a clear number indicating a mood I have found it easier to acknowledge it properly rather than shrugging it off.
To be honest I can't tell the difference between me being 'mildly elevated' and hypomanic, at least not when I'm hypomanic. I'll agree with them that I'm a bit high but seem to lose insight into how high. I guess the main difference for me is that things seem more physically different. So not only do I have lots of ideas and can't sit still and want to do ALL the things but colours are brighter, if I'm sat still I have to rock because the energy literally feels like its bursting out of my skin, I also talk very loudly as well as quickly and stutter. My friends often tell me they prefer me low as I'm easier to deal with and more predictable. An in regard to doing stuff, I kind of lose the thought process before it or don't really connect it. For example, thought: I should go to Cologne tomorrow. The fact I can't afford it or would have to pay for it out of my rent money either won't occur at all or will occur but have very little influence. When I'm more mildly elevated I'll still have the thoughts of wanting to do stuff but the practicalities play much more of a part. I've just realised ie rambled on about my own experiences and not really answered your question! Sorry Beckie! Tiptoes speaks good sense though. I'm glad your consultation went well.
How on earth could someone say you're in a good mood when you're crying?
I did get a mood checker app but I keep forgetting to use it *facepalm*
I should probably put it on my phones home screen so I don't forget.
I can relate to that a lot Emma!
I tend to think that I'm just excited about life and everyone else is being really boring and slow and just don't want me to be happy and that it's all completely normal happiness. And that because I'm miserable all the time, people aren't used to me being happy so just assume I'm too happy. Also using the phrase 'ordinary people can't deal with extraordinary people' (this is what I've gathered from threads here!)
Chels says the same, in that I am a hell of a lot easier to deal with when I'm low because I just sit there and don't do anything
Although I'm pleased that the appointment went well, I'm a bit worried that my MH team are going to dismiss it completely. I'm not sure why they would but it's very possible. Like how could one person make these suggestions when they have all my notes? Although it seems better that she wasn't biased by other people's opinions of me from my notes.
Just that I'd be pretty annoyed if I spent the money on the appointment if the MH team are going to dismiss it, that's the main worry! Or the worry that I made things sound worse than they are or didn't talk enough about other things.
The professor was aware of my diagnosis and previous diagnoses.
Sorry, I'm rambling on again!
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I was frankly amazed that when you went to your CMHT psych appt extremely high, your psych didnt pick up on it. But as you say, if he doesn't know Lamotrigine is used as a mood stabiliser then I question his ability as a psychiatrist...
Could you email or phone the professor you saw to make sure she is going to send a report to your GP and CMHT? Then they can read it hopefully before your CPA.
Would you still want to be discharged if they take it on board?
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
The psych made it very clear that he only had 30 mins for the appointment, just kept saying that they weren't going to discharge me and ended it when I got distracted by a plastic mango....
Chels asked to speak to my CPN afterwards but I can't remember what she said because I had a mouthful of popping candy and was pacing. But I think my CPN thought something wasn't right.
I think I will do that :)
I don't know, I know my GP or neurologist could prescribe sodium valporate or depakote. I'll see what my CPN says about it.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
She didn't say much about the spirits/others. I think because I've been functioning well then it's not a huge issue. Although she decided that I had delusional tendencies or something. (Can't remember the word she used) anti psychotics were mentioned but as I'm coping well there isn't really much point.
I'm surprised by this since from what you have written over the last month or two, these spirits/others have been the dominant theme. I thought you felt your life was highly dictated by what they instructed you to do, and that this had led you to self harm, either to avoid the dire consequences or to follow the instructions. Are you reassured that she didn't consider them to be a significant issue for you? Do you feel you're coping well with them? Are you reassured that it has been categorised as delusional tendencies - will it help you to deal with them knowing this? It's interesting because from what you have written they aren't linked to your mood (as such), did she mention that they may linked to the cyclothymia or is it separate?
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiptoes
To a certain degree the labels are just semantics.
Totally agree with this!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cacoethes
Just that I'd be pretty annoyed if I spent the money on the appointment if the MH team are going to dismiss it, that's the main worry! Or the worry that I made things sound worse than they are or didn't talk enough about other things.
That's probably normal to feel that way afterwards. I'm glad you have felt it points you in the right direction. It might be that your current MH team aren't interested in your 2nd opinion, but if you feel empowered to know how to better understand your 'illness' - you can start to advocate for what you need to keep you out of A&E.
To be honest, I was surprised that she didn't see the spirits/others as a big issue. I've been told by several professionals that I don't 'seem psychotic' but I'm more inclined to think that maybe she knows something and knows they are real. That she can't suggest anti psychotics because if I did go back on them then the spirits/others would be dulled and I wouldn't be able to save the world.
Sometimes I cope with them ok. If the instructions are relatively simple and not too damaging like a cut then I will do it and they'll be happy. It's when the instructions are more serious, like setting myself on fire is when I struggle to cope.
So it's reassuring in a way, because they aren't symptoms of a psychotic illness. I think the delusional tendencies came from when I said I was invincible and I'm meant to save the world. :/
I do feel like I've made a step forward. The diagnosis isn't hugely important, but I said at the end that the CMHT didn't seem to believe me about my 'symptoms' and were always attempting to pick holes in the things I told them and she said 'well I can definitely don't think you're. making this up'.
That was reassuring. It was like, finally, someone is listening!
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I'm glad that you're moving forward and hopefully now your regular team will sit up and pay attention.
It was mentioned earlier about the lines between hypomania and mania being blurred at times and I couldn't agree more with this. It's possible for hypomania to become mania if it goes untreated for a long period of time. I was hospitalised for hypomania as it was becoming clear that I was rapidly progressing up the rungs towards mania, I was losing touch with reality and putting myself in dangerous situations and being taken advantage of. I'm quite sure it would have become mania (if it wasn't already) very quickly if I didn't have the safety of hospital. I do sometimes wonder if I could have come to real harm if my doctor hadn't been so insistent that I was admitted.
Also, about the colours? What is the deal there?! That happens to me too, they become vibrant and inviting, it's like I can feel them or something. One time I was in my psych's office and she had a nice painting of some boats on the wall, they were red, and it was like they were talking to me and I had to get up and touch the painting! The colour thing is meant to be my warning sign to ask for help but...it's so much fun!
It was also mentioned about cyclothymia becoming BPII and BPII becoming BPI, this is very possible. I'm at the upper range of BPII and I wasn't always, going back to my teenage years I would say I was closer to cyclothymia and as time goes on, while my episodes get further and further apart (years), the severity and impact they have on my life is greater. My psych says these are the signs of classical bipolar (as she puts it) and suggest the possibility of worsening episodes as I get older. Just something to be conscious of.
And Stephen Fry has cyclothymia, so you're in excellent company!
Be kind - everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle
Just a warning about sodium valproate if you get pregnant on it it can cause spine abiphiada. I was on it for 3 years and was taken off it with the words "a women of child bearing age should not have been put on this drug" so just make sure you defiantly do not have any chance of pregnancy
My 'episodes' seem to fizzle out by themselves, either that or the meds start to kick in again after a while of not taking them.
Saying that, I think I get the episodes when I'm not on the medication....I can't remember... :/
The colour thing is weird, it's like life is suddenly in HD!!!
If the CMHT agree with the 2nd opinion, then maybe they will be more conscious of my mood changes and what they mean. If I am discharged then my GP is really good and knows me pretty well now.
I try to be aware of when I'm getting a bit elevated, but it seems I lose insight rather quickly!
Stephen Fry <3
Thanks Polly, no danger of me getting pregnant anytime soon so I think that'll be fine :)
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I do agree with the lines between mania and hypomania being very blurred though. Also, the colors thing happens to me as well. When I was manic, I was apparently talking too fast for anyone to understand me at all, bouncing between topics, half hour of sleep, etc. My therapist had no problems saying that I was manic lol. Not really adding much, just a little about my experiences with Bipolar 1. :)
Would you still WANT to be discharged if they recognize the second opinion?
"I need you to know, I'm not through the night. Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light."
"I don't belong here, I gotta move on, dear. Escape from this afterlife"
"Don't let them in, don't let them see. Be the good girl you always had to be. Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know."
I don't think my team thought it was any kinda mania. Psych said I was in a good mood and cpn basically said I was a mess after chels basically forced her to acknowledge something was wrong!! Lol!! So it can't really be that bad.
I think I'll still wanna be discharged because I want to get a job and I have an interview soon and MH team won't let me get a job so need to get rid of them first!! That's priority!!
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Did the second opinion psych think it is that bad?
Why won't the MH team let you get a job? If the second opinion is that you have a mood disorder, but are still functioning and functional, what would be their reasons for stopping you?
"I need you to know, I'm not through the night. Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light."
"I don't belong here, I gotta move on, dear. Escape from this afterlife"
"Don't let them in, don't let them see. Be the good girl you always had to be. Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know."
I didn't really describe the episodes very well tbh! Like, not how intense it can really get!! Provably would have been convenient if I was elated at the time! Lol
Yeah, they don't want me working with vulnerable people or some other shitty excuse that didn't make sense!!
In the appointment when I was a bit high and chels spoke to my cpn then my cpn was like how could you work when you're like this?!??!!
I couldn't really defend myself cos I poured a load of popping candy in my mouth! ;D
But idk. They are sooo annoying!!
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I have agree with the colour thing too. So weird but amazing.
I've worked whilst high, I do have to be careful to make those around me aware though. I was seen by an occupation health doctor at one job whilst high for another reason but brought it up so anyway and she said she thinks hypomanic people make good employees (up to a certain point anyway) although this was a place that finds the crazy pills!
