Feel So Odd UPDATED

[Sketchy]

I'm so proud of you for getting help. I know it couldn't have been easy. I've been there and know how humiliating it can feel, but you did the right thing.

Writing sounds a good plan. I will have a wee peak at your blog.

If you ever want to talk, vent etc, then I'm only a pm away.

Lorraine.x

[dollpart]

Thanks so much :) You've been really supportive & I appreciate it. Same goes for you, if you ever need to talk.

I feel self-harmful but can't be bothered doing anything about it- I guess that's a good sign.

Bec

[Sketchy]

I hope you can fight the urges and take care of yourself.x

[dollpart]

After a great deal of faffing, it has become clear: I have to intermit until January, rather than September. Further, I am waiting for the university to write me a letter before I can even put my ESA claim through. This has become genuinely exhausting- I am down to my last £5, I have only a month's rent left, I have nothing to do until January. Despite my positive post about how doing "nothing" rarely means just that, I suddenly feel at a loss, unthreaded. And it occurs to me how much I hate being unwell. I've never hated it so much. It's always been there, waiting, shadowing me. It's always been known to jump out at me. I've always resented it. And I've hated myself for it. But I've never felt this rage, this urge to turn to it and say YOU. Are ****ing up my life.

[Sketchy]

I'm sorry I don't have the words but I'm sending big hugs your way.:hug::hug::hug:

[Slip]

Hey Hunny - just wanted to let you know I've read & I'm sending you massive love!!! xxxxxx

[dollpart]

Guys...
THINGS ARE GETTING BETTER!
i feel very surprised.

[Sketchy]

Bec, I'm so glad to hear this.xx

[dollpart]

Thanks! It is so good- I ran out of money (bad) so had to stop drinking (good) which felt horrible (bad) but is making my medication work so much better- GOOD. I am realising a lot of things about myself in my "normal" state and some of them are good things... Which is nice.

[Sketchy]

Reading this has made my day. Take care.xx

[dollpart]

Thanks so much Sketchy :D

...this isn't bothering me especially but I've been hearing whispers/ voices. Why?!

[Sketchy]

I'm not sure. Is it interfering with your days? I think the best thing to do is talk to your doctor about it. Maybe they can review medication.x

[dollpart]

Hmmm it stopped again! Weird, hey.

Just updated my status to "okay". wHAT A MAD FEELING!

[Sketchy]

*Hugs Becky*

[dollpart]

:) *Hugs Lorraine*

[Sketchy]

Thank you. How are feeling?

[dollpart]

I'm ok. Had a bit of a blip-week with drinking and SH but I'm fighting back. Graaah.

[dollpart]

And in a proper stressy state about benefits and so forth. But Citizen's Advice is on my side... x

[Sketchy]

Keep fighting! Argh benefits can be very stressful, but I hope you get what you need.x

[dollpart]

Yep, Im well up for a fight. Good sign- means I am okay with getting what I deserve (benefits, rather than villification)