I know I can't prove it but it's a gut feeling, plus I do some stalking and it kind of adds up.
An example - One member creates a thread, gets a ton of replies, support and well, attention, another member creates very similar and specific thread.
But, I could be completely wrong.
Yep, have noticed things Ike that.
Also, trends happen.
And two completely contradicting threads within 5 minutes are always fun.
I dont lie. I dont like lieing I think its point less and stupid why make up lies thats just stupid and pointless. If you dont want to share something then just dont you dont have to lie just dont say it. Why lie make up **** seems completly stupid and pointless. Of course we all have are little white lies no one is perfect like ex if your sleeping okay and you say yes when its really no. For the most part Im a very honest person Im not a liar.
People lie, nothing we can do about it. Though I don't like, I feel you can tell when someone is lying. I just don't care enough and ignore them, it's common sense IMHO
I am not doing it for myself, I am doing it for them!
Love and miss them like crazy
Sometimes when I read things like this I get paranoid that others think I'm lying. Like others, I too tend to exaggerate on my vent threads to how I'm feeling, but since it's a personal vent and I'm expressing very real emotions I suppose it's not lying right?
Anyway
I tend to have a gut feeling as to if somebody is lying or not.
You can generally tell if it's very outlandish, exaggerated, doesn't make sense or is highly unlikely. Sometimes you can just 'tell', for lack of better explanation.
(I do admit I am guilty to having lied in the past, on another account. I was very young and desperate and all that is behind me now though.)
I was accused of lying a few years ago, which was frustrating.
I was posting about an awful thing that happened in a secure unit (I think I was on leave from this secure unit at the time)
And everyone was saying that they didn't believe me because 'the staff wouldn't be allowed to do such things!'
Well....I have a permanent injury from that admission!
When I was accused of lying, it was annoying, I wasn't so well known on the forum but I just let it drop, no one was going to believe me so why waste time convincing them!
ha! i think im too simple to be able to keep my stories straight to be honest. :P
this is totally me! I don't think I would know how to keep a lie!
Quote:
Originally Posted by MunchBox
I know I can't prove it but it's a gut feeling, plus I do some stalking and it kind of adds up.
An example - One member creates a thread, gets a ton of replies, support and well, attention, another member creates very similar and specific thread.
But, I could be completely wrong.
I just think that there are so many people on here that of course there are going to be people going through the same or similar things at the same time or just after each other..., plus a lot of mental health stuff is a bite contagious, especially when you are really unwell... Eating disorders is an obvious example of this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TealShell
Yep, have noticed things Ike that.
Also, trends happen.
And two completely contradicting threads within 5 minutes are always fun.
Quote:
Originally Posted by EmilyTHEgreat
People lie, nothing we can do about it. Though I don't like, I feel you can tell when someone is lying. I just don't care enough and ignore them, it's common sense IMHO
yeah I agree with this.
(I do admit I am guilty to having lied in the past, on another account. I was very young and desperate and all that is behind me now though.)[/quote] #damn phone ruined the quote # see this is why I think don't judge, if someone is obviously lying then why are they doing that? surely we all know that 'attention seeking' is sometimes a legitimate cry for help? especially when you are younger and don't know how to all for help in a mature sensible way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilentBoy
It is up there with the most frustrating things in the world.
Being accused of lying is horrid, especially as you're the person that knows if you are lying or not.
Accusations make people feel awful, and considering a lot of members are unsure of themselves and struggle with paranoia, these vague 'accusations' can cause a lot of unnecessary stress. In my opinion it just isn't worth it
As long as it doesn't turn into a witch hunt. I've seen it happen. I was co leader of an msn group (only because the person who set it up wasn't good with computers when she started), and she got paranoid and accused lots of people of being liars or attention seekers and actually confronted one or two. Then she got wrapped up in it all and was accusing people she knew full well to be telling the truth. It led to arguments and upset all round.
Just be careful is all I have to say....
I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road
Oh dear! I genuinely didn't think people would get so paranoid o_O
When I said my hunches are usually right, I kind of assumed people would get that that means if you're not lying, I probably don't think you're lying. If that makes sense? Otherwise my hunches would mainly be wrong.
Sorry for any paranoia induced by myself; genuinely didn't mean to cause such drama.
Additionally I don't believe I've ever called anyone a troll directly to their face, apart from amongst friends for whom the meaning is very clear.
I've been accused of being a liar in the past and many other delightful names, but the liar bit didn't really upset me. I'm an inherently honest person and genuinely don't really lie, so why should I be upset that someone has got the wrong end of the stick and thinks I'm something that I'm not? If their decent they'll listen to my explanation of things, and if they're not then they're not worth knowing.
I used to lie irl, when I was in primary school I made up lots of boyfriend and stuff.... I have no idea why I did, I think it was just being young and perhaps wanting something (attention?) And going about it the wrong way?
But now I'm pretty much an open book and genuinely don't have the brain capacity to make stuff up... But my ex excuses me of lying (and always did) and it was the most frustrating thing ever, sometimes it turned out I was wrong but not intentionally.
This stuff doesn't get me paranoid, I just know it's incredibly unlikely that you can know for sure if someone's lying, and accusations hurt... if they are lying on here my guess would be they need help and Don't know how to ask for it (i.e. attention)
Last edited by [Awakening] : 03-01-2013 at 11:54 AM.
Reason: spelling
Well....if people say in a thread which was pretty vague to begin with that they 'always know when people are lying' 'know the liars but wont report them' and so on on a site like this then it will always cause paranoia. People get paranoid everytime I send them a PM, even when if they think about it they know they havent done anything wrong....so if there is paranoia surrounding that then this thread is certainly going to cause people to react in the same way.
People get upset when theyre called a liar because theyre afraid that everyone else thinks the same. Or if they have a very loose grip on reality then theyre afraid that they did make it all up and that they were lying.
I have seen time and time again someone accuse someone else of lying and then everyone else turns against them, sometimes they turn out to be lying, a lot of the time they're not. It isn't nice to witness people stick to their assumption with no evidence. It causes them to stalk the person around RYL makes sly comments and so on.
Although we have had liars on RYL a lot of the time people actually aren't lying. The one thing that annoys me more than anything else is people assuming people are lying because they have the same illness, particularly mental illness. Thinking that because someone doesnt react in the same way as you so they must be lying is so frustrating and most of the time its unfounded.
People who lie cause problems for us. It is very difficult for the moderators because we have to ask for proof of deaths and so on and that is extremely difficult. It is also very hard (for me especially as I dont think confrontation) to pull someone up if we know theyre lying.
I have, in the past, PMd people where I have found evidence of them lying and I tell them to stop it now before it hurts someone....about 98% of them stop when they know someone knows.
I think all the people that admitted to lying are really brave.....totally unnecessary for you to feel forced to bear your soul but there we go! I feel as long as you can identify what caused you to lie then there is no reason to be ashamed of your past.
I also think its important to remember some of the age of people accused of lying publically and to remember that A LOT of younger people/young teens do tend to be slightly more untruthful....doesnt make it right but its important to remember.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
I do see your point, and how my comments could come across. I know the damage has been done, but I'm deleting my post anyway, as I now see how it could be interpreted, even though it's not what I meant. I don't think people are lying because they have the same illness, it tends to be just a hunch based on a collection of unlikely stories and the way they are told, a suspicion which I keep to myself until I find proof. And even then I don't tend to do anything, because it's not damaging, and as Jocelyn said, it definitely does not make someone a bad person, as there are many not necessarily legit, but rather understandable reasons for doing so.
My whole post wasnt aimed at you specifically, just the bit about people being paranoid!
I understand where youre coming from in relation to feeling like you know someone is lying....having a hunch about it is fine, its when people start to let their feelings about someone leak out into the person support thread etc that it turns nasty.....especially if they think someone is lying.
Its kind of funny in a not funny way though because people will stalk these people that they think are lying and will make comments on the thread that they think are super clever and no one will figure out what they really mean when actually its very very easy to spot when someone is doing that!Its interesting to watch.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
The thing is, people do experience stuff differently, and explain it differently. So i might have a rant about seeing things, which i occasionally do, but im talking about little stuff out of the corner of my eye for the most part, and someone else might experience that much more extremely and so think well what is she moaning about?
He was no longer jean valjean but no. 24601 -les miserable
Some of life's mysteries will never be solved, such as why, after spending an entire evening listenong to Bach, do I find myself humming "the birdie song".......
I am reaching, but i fall, and the stars are black and cold, as i stare into the void of a world that cannot hold- les miserables
When i get emotional, my rantings/writings become very.. dramatic and im sure portray that i feel worse than i actually do. I often read back and im like 'i definitely wasnt that emotional in real life about this situation'.
Unconscious exaggeration or something.
damn drama queen.
I know what you mean by this. I feel the same way when I feel a lot better and look back at my "emo" posts in an appalled way. but when I wrote them I DID feel what I felt, so it can't really be lying.
And I agree with Liv's comment on witch hunts and the like. I was accused outright of lying ONCE over something my brother did (people said I pretended to be him) and I was literally mobbed with people calling me a liar and making snide comments over something I could not control and did not even do. It is VERY unpleasant and to this day I am still scared the people think I lied about that and terrified people think it's something I do on a regular basis.
Last edited by Taliesin : 06-01-2013 at 01:39 PM.
Reason: Added stuff
tu as tant de choses à dire,
mais le tout reste enfermer.
et quand tu ne sais plus quoi dire,
tu te mets à pleurer.
Mais ça ton publique le voit pas,
tu l'incites à rêver, pendant que toi tu le regarde...
I think threads like this make us all paranoid people think we're lying. As has been said, I feel as though it could look like I've been lying when really I'm just pushing to express something, at that time I am legit feeling whatever, it just may only be feelings that occur once a month or something. Also as said, people tend to exaggerate, but on somewhere like RYL I think it's more just because people as so desperate to be heard and understood, they're not being malicious like 'AHA I'll say I felt x when really I felt y so that everyone will give me sympathy!'. Just an online way to express feelings that are hard and unwanted!
There will always be a happy ending. If its not happy then its not yet the end.
I like it when people are 9 months gone one day and then have a miscarrige and are completely fine the next day with no sign of ever being preggers in the first place. I'm pretty sure that it doesn't work like that...
Also, Flem died 3 days ago.
(That's a lie. I am Flem.)
The world is just illusion always trying to change me.
You will find wonder wherever you can, and spread joy whenever you are able.
I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure, that had long appeared dead, divide within me. - Frankenstein.
But maybe sometimes people see a thread and relate to it, so it gives them courage to post about their own similar issues.
I also think maybe sometimes reading about an issue might make you more likely to take things in your own life and maybe put 2+2 together and get 5.
Eg I have been seeing movement out the corner of my eyes lately, my mind tells me it's mice. My logic says its just over tiredness and my mind playing tricks on me there's nothing really there. But if I was feeling especially susceptible or vulnerable I might start to believe I was hallucinating or psychotic.
If anything I think often people are MORE honest on RYL. I have met members in real life and been surprised how together they seem as based on their posts I kind of expected them to be a heap on the floor! Plus we are our own worst critics sometimes so we might be like "omg everyone hated me, I was rude, pathetic etc" and its not true at all but it's what we believe to be true.
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