Mental health and Job

[_wendy_]

but you have just done the same thing again. assumed you are so much worse because you suffer dissociation. whos to say i dont? you are making assumptions that you are so much worse because i work and you dont.

[Stellata]

I dissociate, sometimes quite 'badly' [emotional flashback type]. I work.
But my psychotherapy helps me manage my difficulties more safely, and thus be able to work.
And the reasonable adjustments I have at work give me a safer environment and a safety net if things get really rough.

[earthbound_misfit]

@ Stellata: I'm glad you have found helpful therapy and a workplace that is willing to accomodate your difficulties. I'm a bit of a 'lurker' on these boards sometimes and have read a lot of your posts and always think "aha - it's stellata" knowing you'll have something positive, encouraging or thoughtful to say. You seem like you have been so strong and carried on through hellish times, and still persevere despite difficulties and I hope it is paying off (does sound like it is).
I never used to dissociate, just be upset when things hurt, but trying to hide that upset-ness (as one must in work) brought about dissociation, and I couldn't really do the job in that state (even if only for short periods). Unfortunately this means they can legitimately fire you, even with the DDA. It's a shame about the nursing/care work thing as I can usually work until I drop in that kind of environment (same in personal life - can go on supporting othrs even when I'm in a terrible place). So I am trying to think of ways to earn money that I can do well in now.

@dash - wow that sounds like me. Although I've been assessed as needing therapy I'm having great trouble actually getting on the waiting list and have no other support (and the waiting list keeps mysteriously changing length and they randomly take you off it without telling you).
I'm thinking to try to get private therapy but without benefits couldn't pay for it and am worried without NHS to back me up I will fail ESA reassessment. Do you mind if I PM you? I'd like to hear your story if that's not too much to ask.

[Stellata]

Thanks for the kind comments, EB, I really appreciate them, especially at this time. :)
You're right, I am lucky.
But, like many, I have had to make sacrifices for the sake of my health - like being in a job below my qualification level and earning potential, would I were well. Though arguably a lot of the time customer service in a library is like being a social worker! [albeit my degree is in teaching, I have done a bit of postgraduate counselling stuff].

[Mrs Sam]

When I was quite ill I'd often have an appt at 8.30am then dissociate for a few hours after and roll into work just before lunch. This went on for months. I once woke up from a dissociation episode late for teaching and went unwashed taught the session then came home and cried for many hours. I did a presentation at work on a counselling course I did and then on the evening was admitted to a psych ward where I kept trying to kill myself. At the time I was seriously unwell but work kept me going. I was seeing professionals a few times a week at that point including the crisis team. I most definitely wouldn't recommend it but it kept me afloat for about a year or so until I had a breakdown.

I still work and regularly hear voices, see things, end up in tears in toilets but I manage it much better so my life is less stressed. So I don't think I'll end up back there.

I guess you just get used to it, managing the routine etc plus it's a big motivator to look after yourself if you have to see people every day.