i'm not adverse to a little bit of stalking roli ;)
Bunnymad - thank you it means a lot to hear that <3
I'm just a little numb still. I've been talking to crisis for the last couple of days so they've been a help.
*hugs to all*
I want so badly to be okay, I really do.
I can't stop picturing what Ad did. It runs through and though my head. Every time I close my eyes it's there; as if it's burnt into the back of my eyelids.
I want to make it work with him; I want to forget it...or maybe I just don't want to be alone.
I can't stop thinking about what the nurse said; "You're lucky to be alive. You were almost gone" - damn. What was it? Minutes? Tablets? My chest aches every time I think how close I was. I don't want to tell anyone because it's nearly Christmas and I don't want to ruin it for anyone. So, once again I'm suffering alone.
It's fine; but faking this smile is killing me inside.
I wish I was alone.
x Katie x
I haven't really spoken to you, but you seem like a lovely person who is always willing to help and support people. You deserve to be okay and get the help the need from others.
Stay strong, you can get through this. *hugs* <3
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said "I just don't care"?
I don't really know you, but I've seen your messages of support on the forum, so I send you as much support as I have. Take care of yourself, you deserve it.
-- English is not my mother-tongue, so I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistake --
I'm so very confused about all of this. I've decided to spend the day at home rather than stay at Ad's parents house - I just needed some time to clear my head and to hopefully stop all the shouting in there.
Sorry my updates and support have been pretty short; I've had no laptop so I've had to update on my phone which has been a pain in the ass.
I want this seasonal period to be over so I can get my head straight again. Me and Ad are just putting up a front in front of his family so we don't ruin this time for them - but it's wearing me out. I feel like I'm spread too thin.
Sorry guys, just not really feeling very strong right now.
x Katie x
*Sends strengthening hugs* Thinking of you darling. Keep fighting, this seasonal period will be over soon and I think we will all breath a sigh of relief.
Here for you as always (bet you get sick of hearing that :P)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
*worlds biggest hugs*
hope you manage to straighten things out a bit, i know to some extent how annoying a head that goes on at you can be. you said a few days agoi that talking to crisis had helped some. do you think if things get hard to day you could call them?
thinking of you
Jen xx
Hi Katie, I've seen some of your kind posts in the forums and I think you also replied to one of my threads. I recognise your username because it's impossible not to notice such a nice person. I'm terribly sorry you are going through this right now and I really want you to know that I'm here if you need anything. I promise you that things will get better, just stay strong for a little more time ! I'm sure you can do it, you seem to be an incredible person and you deserve the best :)
Katie you have been there for me so many times and now it's my time to be here for you. To support you in any way that I can. If you need to talk or just vent PM me or PM me and I'll give you my email address.
As you can see sweetie you are never alone and have an incredible support team here.
Libz (DriftedAway), Katie (Heaven Knows) and Sammy (StuckInReverse) are my daughters, Jo (On Edge) Savannah (#skittles#) and are my lil' sisters
Hi guys.
Sorry I haven't really been able to update - been away from home so no laptop and barely any internet. Roli - I don't get sick of hearing it; I appreciate your support. I really do. Jen - I didn't call Crisis again; luckily they called me yesterday because I was really struggling, so talking a little helped. They've now discharged me from their books; but now my CPN's office is open again so hopefully I'll be able to talk to him today. Bunnymad - Thank you for your words and support. I really need that right now. Maggie - Thank you for the kind words. I'm trying to remain strong but it seems to be so hard right now. Kathy - Thank you honey. I'm not sure why I feel so alone considering how many words of support I've had here...I guess I just need to be used to asking for help. Chas and Roli - thank you for the hugs <3
You guys are amazing. Thank you so much for your continued support. It really is keeping me going right now.
I'm not really sure how I'm doing right now. I feel like I haven't had time to think over Christmas.
I've been trying to put on a front with Adam so we don't make things uncomfortable for his family over Christmas, but I still don't know how I feel about it all. I don't trust him. I don't know whether I will be able to again. I guess I just need to sort my head out again.
It seems like so much has happened in the last week; Adam, work, hospital, Christmas. It feels like I've not had enough time to register it all. So, I guess now is the time to do that.
Gah. Rambling again. Sorry.
x Katie x
Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
