Ultimately I think you are betraying someones trust. However having said that sometimes it is necessary to break that persons trust if they are causing extreme harm/or could kill themselves. If they are not a serious risk to themselves tho I wouldn't tell anyone, but would try and encourage them to recieve some help.
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I think it depends on the severity of the SI. If they're barely scratching their skin then I would say no. I would say in that situation to help the person the best you can and encourage them to get help on their own. BUT....If a person is SI so badly that they need stitches and aren't getting medical attention, they're putting themseleves in real danger. If the SI was severe like this...Then honestly yes, I would probably seek out help for this person. I've been there and I know that you aren't gonna get any better without REAL help. I think it's a fine line between being severe and just a simple injury.
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I think it depends on the severity of the SI. If they're barely scratching their skin then I would say no. I would say in that situation to help the person the best you can and encourage them to get help on their own. BUT....If a person is SI so badly that they need stitches and aren't getting medical attention, they're putting themseleves in real danger. If the SI was severe like this...Then honestly yes, I would probably seek out help for this person. I've been there and I know that you aren't gonna get any better without REAL help. I think it's a fine line between being severe and just a simple injury.
I think that's a load of bollocks.
Just because someone doesn't cut deeply doesn't mean they don't need serious help, or won't end up trying to kill themselves.
I ended up in hospital last october due to an attempted suicide. I have NEVER been what you'd call a "serious cutter". And yes, most of my cuts are chicken scratches. Does that mean I'm in less emotional pain than someone that cuts to the bone? Of course not. Does it mean I'm less likely to end up trying to kill myself? Of course not. It DOES mean I'm less likely to end up passing out after cutting [as opposed to sui attempt] but, to be honest, people that cut shallowly are more at risk IF/WHEN they decide to cut deeply because they're not used to it.
i told one person in my life who i throught i could trust, turns out i cant and because of this perso my mum wants me bck in hospital.
i dont think she had the right to tell my mum its m life and my body i can do what i want to do.
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Just because someone doesn't cut deeply doesn't mean they don't need serious help, or won't end up trying to kill themselves.
I ended up in hospital last october due to an attempted suicide. I have NEVER been what you'd call a "serious cutter". And yes, most of my cuts are chicken scratches. Does that mean I'm in less emotional pain than someone that cuts to the bone? Of course not. Does it mean I'm less likely to end up trying to kill myself? Of course not. It DOES mean I'm less likely to end up passing out after cutting [as opposed to sui attempt] but, to be honest, people that cut shallowly are more at risk IF/WHEN they decide to cut deeply because they're not used to it.
Meh.
Thats not what i meant. I meant that if a person isnt in danger of killing themselves on ACCIDENT through their si that i would work with them to encourage them to get help on their own. i wouldnt betray their trust unless i thought they were at serious risk for huting themselves. note that i also said if they werent getting the proper medical attention. if someone was cutting deeply but getting stitches or having a medical professional look at the wound then i also wouldnt tell. its best for the person if they can seek help on their own because otherwise theyre not ready to and i would never put someone in that situation unless i thought they were at risk to hurt themselves unintentionally. I wasnt saying that i order to be taken seriously as a self-injurer that people had to be cutting to the bone. you misinterpreted what i was saying. all si is si whether its a scratch that doesnt even bleed or someone cutting through the muscle.
I need you to know...I'm not through the night
Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the Light.
Just because someone doesn't cut deeply doesn't mean they don't need serious help, or won't end up trying to kill themselves.
I ended up in hospital last october due to an attempted suicide. I have NEVER been what you'd call a "serious cutter". And yes, most of my cuts are chicken scratches. Does that mean I'm in less emotional pain than someone that cuts to the bone? Of course not. Does it mean I'm less likely to end up trying to kill myself? Of course not. It DOES mean I'm less likely to end up passing out after cutting [as opposed to sui attempt] but, to be honest, people that cut shallowly are more at risk IF/WHEN they decide to cut deeply because they're not used to it.
My friend told her parents who came and told my mum.
I dont think they did it in the right way (late at night, emotions high etc) but tbh i dont think i would have EVER been happy with the time when they told her. I stood by the fact i would have told my mum in time, but i honestly never would have.
Although i feel she did betray my trust, i keep telling myself it was because she was worried and didnt know what else to do. At the end of the day, i decided i needed to put it behind me that she'd told, because it wasnt worth throwing our friendship away for.
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I would say it is betraying their trust. especially if you told them without informing this person first. It's generally up to that person if they want to tell someone about their SI, then thats up to them isn't it? I mean, if it did come to that person really going over the top then I'd say tell someone, but I'd obviously make sure that the SI'er didn't mind.
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I dont think there's a right or a wrong opinion on this because it depends on so many different things; namely the person that self-harms.
I've been on the end of this. When I first started self-harming I confided in a teacher...not because I wanted her to stop me or anything but because I felt like I had to tell someone. The next day she came to me and told me she'd had to tell someone else and that someone else had told my mum. I was devistated and played truant from school for almost 3 months during year 9. When I finally worked up the strength to take myself back I couldn't face that teacher, the senior she told and things still aren't right with my mum. To this day the teacher I was closest to I still hate for what she did.
Equally, looking back, if I'd been ready for it to come out, I probably would have appreciated her taking that hardest step for me and much as I would have been upset at the time it would have helped in the long run.
As it stands, because I wasn't ready it means I dont feel able to talk to anyone about it now and my trust for anyone I'm close to is really limited. So yeah, I suppose it is betraying the persons trust but it depends on the outcome.
Yeah mine too but that didn't stop me feeling betrayed by her.
Schools policies on this kind of thing aren't exactly clear...or mine wasn't anyway. If I'd known she'd have to tell her senior then my mum I sure as hell wouldn't have said anything.
hell yeah it is
it is not a bad thing but it is with out a doubt a betrayl of trust
it is a personal thing and who here really want a bunch of people knowing that
like sure it is acting in the best interest of your friend but if so one had gone behind my back and say told i don't know anyone no point telling teacher now i haven't been to school in over 10 years but either if someone did they could be expecting a punch to the head as soon as i saw them next
I think this is the kind of debate that has two clear influences.
Strictly speaking unless the harmer has ASKED you to tell someone then yes it is betraying their trust but whether it's the right thing to do or not thats a different matter all together.
I could be totally wrong but that's what I think...
It depends.
If someone comes to you and tells you about it they obviously trust you, and for you to tell someone would be breaking their trust. But if you're truly concerned I understand it's hard to handle alone, as their sole "mentor"--I've been in both positions. In that case you can encourage them to speak to someone or offer to tell someone if it's easier for them not to do it themselves. To just tell behind their back is betrayal.
That said, when my parents found out about my self harm, I didn't want ANYONE to know. One of my best friends accidently caught sight of my cuts, and figured out what they were. We talked about it and I made her promise not to tell but she did anyways. She told a teacher and the two of them confronted me and forced me to tell my parents. At the time I felt extremely betrayed by her but I realized today if not for her, who knows when, if ever, I would have gotten help for my depression.
So, it depends on the situation.
Obviously, telling without permission is a betrayal of trust. But whether or not it's appropriate to break that trust for the greater good is more situational.
If telling someone is going to prevent someone from killing themselves or being otherwise seriously injured or impared, then I believe it's ok.
But, if you are like my boyfriend, and tell all our roommates, so that anytime I get irritated, you can just say, "See? I told you she was crazy. Probably going to go cut herself." Then you are an asshole, and obviously shouldn't be trusted with any confidential information.
Be careful who you confide in if you don't want to be found out, that's all I can say.
I think in most situations that young people are involved in it's the only thing that can be done.
Your friends shouldn't be expected to deal with information like that on their own.
With adults it might be different because the other person has had more life experiences and may have more of a capacity to deal with it and be supportive.
Yeah I'd betray someone if I knew or had a strong inclination that it was going to help.
I had a friend who i said do not tell anyone. Then she tells my form tutor then my year head.
I still to this very day think i could have been better without her telling people.
