Contains Suicide - In a bad place - Page 3

ThinkingofRecovery · 16-09-2010, 10:51 PM

I love your hubby and the new people you have met!

I am so glad they are making efforts to help you.

Love you Rowie and am always thinking of you. So please stay safe
xxx

Sleepless123 · 17-09-2010, 03:16 AM

Rowie firstly well done for being so honest with the crisis team and telling them you didnt think you were safe and for going to A and E.i am so so so very proud of you hun.

Please dont give up.Your hubby and these people only want to help you and see you alive and happy like we do.i know it must feel like everyone is working against you right now and i know that must feel really horrible but they are just very concerned for you and they are not working against you but your illness.Please try and let them try and help and i really hope they do more for you later today than just one meeting etc.Cos that would be a disgrace and certainly not enough.You need and deserve so much more than that.And in my opinion i would also not be so sure your not sectionable - however i am not a professional so i am probably wrong but it just does not make sense to me.

i am glad that they were thinking about a place of safety and i hope they are still considering this cos to be honest i think that is really what you need and i am extremely concerned about you especially given the next 24 hours.

As for them telling your hubby i know you didnt want this and im sorry they felt they had to go against this.i do hope he can maybe help you keep safe and to fight somehow though [im selfish but i dont want to see you die] and also that you came to some agreement over your night time meds so you can hopefully get some rest and peace and a bit of a break from it all.

Please let us know how it goes tomorrow if you want to/can, please stay in touch and know you can contact me anytime, that i am thinking of you a lot and love you very much.

Much love.You mean so much to me and so many others and you are worth every bit of effort anyone goes to for you and oh so so so so much more.i truely mean that, believe me.Your a fantastic person Rowie and i just hope that one day you can see that too.Please let people try and help you and i really hope they do the sensible thing and offer you much more support and help.It is what you need and it is only right they should.It is neglectful if they dont.

You have fought to stay alive for so long and come so far - please dont give up.Good luck with your doctor too.i hope he also will ensure your well looked after.Well done for being so brave with all this.

You can do this girl, keep it up!You dont need to die.You can live and be happy.i know that must seem so far off right now but i hope one day you will be able to see that too and will be glad you lived.

Hang on in there.

i love you.

xx xx

crazykat · 17-09-2010, 01:41 PM

Thinking of you Rowie, hold on there you will get through this. Also just because you have a roof over your head and a family doesn't mean you are hurting any less. Your pain is just as valid.

Sleepless123 · 17-09-2010, 04:57 PM

Still thinking of you and wondering how its gone and how you are??

i really hope you are safe.

Sorry i havent been in touch sooner.Just got back in from my last day at work a little while ago [before i move to live elsewhere!].

xx xx

Sleepless123 · 18-09-2010, 12:49 AM

Thanks for that.i tried to text her and her phone was off and so i was getting a bit worried so thats really good news.Thanks for letting us know.

Thinking of you Rowie.

xx xx

crazykat · 18-09-2010, 01:30 PM

Thanks for letting us know. Thinking of you Rowie

ThinkingofRecovery · 18-09-2010, 05:30 PM

Thanks.

Thinking of you hun
*hugs*

~Grace~ · 19-09-2010, 04:07 PM

sory for thje worry.
i went to hospital aftyer taking an od
im still very shakey and have muscle spasms
im nopw under the crisis team

sorry cant say much. am really tired and out of it
locve to all mxxx

Sleepless123 · 19-09-2010, 04:13 PM

Thanks for letting us know how you are.Especially despite feeling and being so poorly *massive hugs to ya*.

im so glad your on here and still alive.

Dont worry about not being able to say much.Just try and look after yourself as best you can ok.You still sound really ill both emotionally and physically.

im so sorry all this happened but a big well done for going to the hospital and im so glad your under the crisis team and i hope they are really listening this time.

im just so glad you went to the hospital.It must have been so so hard for you.

Are you sure you should be out though when it sounds like your still having quite significant effects from the OD and do they know these things are still happening?

i love you and im so glad your still alive.

Please try to work with the crisis team and people as much as you can and i really hope they start to help you better.

Very best wishes and lots of hugs.

xx xx

Pomegranate · 20-09-2010, 04:31 AM

I don't really have much to add to what Kath said (she got there first :P )

I hope the crisis team are helping a little. Thinking of you Rowie x

~Grace~ · 20-09-2010, 02:50 PM

thank you

i just feel so tired

the crisis team are comin g to see me soon
ive already cut badly this morning but i cant tell them that
im too afraid of what they might think
my legs are so wobbly when i stand

crazykat · 20-09-2010, 02:53 PM

I think it's important you tell them, so they can help you. Hold on there hun

ThinkingofRecovery · 20-09-2010, 03:37 PM

Please tell them.

Thinking of you hun.
xxx

~Grace~ · 20-09-2010, 05:17 PM

Thank you

I did tell them but it was kind of brushed over
I wont go to a and e with it as i have had enough of that place for now

I have been discharged from the crisis teams care now
But I can ring them day or night should i need and im happy with that arrangement

I may go away somewhere
I dont know if with someone or on my own
I just feel a break would do me good

Pomegranate · 20-09-2010, 07:10 PM

Well done for telling them.

I think a break away might be a good idea as long as it is with someone and not just by yourself.

I'm glad you are happy with the arrangement. Why did they decide to discharge you? How does hubby feel about that? Are you feeling any better?

ThinkingofRecovery · 20-09-2010, 10:17 PM

Where would you go for a break and who with? Sounds like a break might be a good idea.

I have that plan re the crisis team - they are basically always open to me if I contact them. Unfortunately a couple of them are jumped up little pricks.

startingagain · 20-09-2010, 10:46 PM

http://www.rethink.org/living_with_m...d_respite.html

hope this helps x

ferretmonster · 21-09-2010, 10:46 AM

sending my love to my rowie xxx

Margo · 21-09-2010, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Grace~

I feel like im losong control over a situation i had total control over.

^^^^^

THIS!

Almost from day one i have said to you that you control the pace of all this. with your docs and psych and all. Ive felt you controlled it and it was always within your comfort zone.

The fact is that you arent the best person to control this. Its gotten you to here and now.

the real fact is you were never in control. your illness was/is. I hope someday you will see this.

I look forward to having rowena back!

Love

Matthew xxxx

~Grace~ · 21-09-2010, 04:56 PM

thank you all so much for supporting me through all of this...

Im going away to my sisters for a few days on thursday..i feel i need a break and i think it will give my hubby a well deserved break from caring for me.

Thing is, all i can think about is harming when im at my sisters..would the treatment id get be any different in the midlands to where i am at home. I really need to physically hurt myself in a big way and i know that wouldnt be right nor fair of me to do that to my sister.

Im all of a jumble...im avoiding seeing my gp, hoping he will just provide my scripts without asking to see me. I know i can go it alone and get that control back. I want to be in control of my destiny, whatever that may be
I dont want interferance, just let me be