i dont know what i want any more, i really dont.
I love you. But then again, i dont.
I want to be with HER. and not you.
Im sorry.
But i want to be like i was before, but you make me feel like a bad person.
so i keep it all wrapped up, quiet, and pretend im happy.
IM PRETENDING FOR YOU.
So is this how it's going to be again? Ignore me untill I force some hostile exchange? I thought we were beyond that now. I'm sorry I wronged you, but please . . . is all this really necessary?
1. You two are the root of most of my problems. You made me what I am. I hate you. The minute I'm no longer dependent on you you'll never see or hear from me again. I hope you're happy with what you've done or said. Do you know how many times I've cut because of you?
2. I wish I could tell you so many things. Your friendship means more to me than you'll ever know and I miss you so much right now. Thank you for not judging me, but for trying to support me and understand.
I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Oh, but God, I want to let it go.
If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, you can find out first-hand what it's like to be me.
You'll need a symphony to give sympathy to the girl with the worst luck in town.
When I care, it curls me up on the floor and I swear I can't do it anymore.
err if only you knew what i did to myself cuz i feeled unloved by you. I don't know why is so hard to say to you even tho you have know me 18 years all of my life and i should be able to tell you stuff like this but its so hard to fine the words to tell you...i mean i can tell almost everyone eles but not you or anyone eles in our family i hate have this all bottled up inside and i feel as if my best firends don't give a dam.........i just need you guys and you cann't be there for me cuz i don't let you in...maybe i should but i just don't know what you'll say or do......i just hope if i do tell you that you'll be there for me and try and understand unlike some other people i know i love you.........i wish you would just give me a hug all i need from you is a hug letting me know that you'll always be there for me...i fear that you will not understand me.......i love you and i need you
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last cut may 10
why doo you do this to me? telling me you wnat me, when i know u want her.....you only do it so i dont tell her, so i dont tell her the secret that keeps us together.
i hate you so much it hurts inside,
you pushed me here and left me.........and i'm never coming back for you!
look, i was young, i didn't know it was wrong. now i do and i'm sorry but you did nothing. i mean for feck fake u're my mum you should be protecting me but no you didn't. thanks a bunch mum, now i really trust you!
It would be nice if you asked how I was once in a while. But yanno...I'd probably just lie anyway.
Cos that's what I always do. Push people away, when I need them most.
But I just can't bear to see the pain and disappointment in your face.
That hurts more than anything I could ever do to myself.
Do it for those who know you can and for those who think you can’t.
i know you were avoiding me all night - i know you still hate me - and i hate you too - because your lifes great, and mines falling apart again! its all your fault!
I wish that you could see past the way I look & the way I speak. You tell me that I am sounding really positive, and that I'm looking well. I'm greatful that you think that but honestly, I'm not doing ok at all. I wish I could take this mask off and I don't know what I can do to take it off, to let you see the real me & not the me that you all see. The one with her hair done, and the one with a smile plastered across her face even when she's breaking down inside. It's a load of rubbish, it's not true. I don't feel well at all, I don't feel positive even if I say I do.
I just want to tell you that I'm not ok, and I am grateful for all the support you've given me. For the support everyone has given me. I feel ungrateful wanting to tell you all these things - I'm not, I'm just trying to let you in a little bit.
Remember what you said to me the other week? Please tell me it again. It meant so much, and even if you didn't mean it, I really wish you could/would do it.
cant believe i saw you.
felt like i was gonna swallow my heart.
felt like i was gonna vom.
i miss you so much - words dont start to help.
im drinking more. longing to do worse. wanting to see you. wanting to show you the pain you caused. knowing i cant. knowing i could quantify it. in scars. miss you baby. miss you. why did you make it all change?
you broke me.
this aint even me.
f*ck knows who i am now.
you took it all.
why didnt you just let me die, when the chance was there - i wish i didnt feel this sh*t.
love you, you absolute f*cker.
xxx
"You don't have any reason to be sad." What the hell gives you the right to say that? If you would stop using me as your human teddy bear to hug and assure you that you're still worthwhile you'd realize that I'm not as happy as I act, that's not a burn on my arm, and I HATE IT WHEN YOU TOUCH ME LIKE THAT. I wanted to throw up after lunch the other day. I want you to go away. I want you to stop pretending you know anything about me. I can't wait until summer so I don't have to deal with you anymore.
still can't tell you cuz i don't know what you'll say or do and i know what will happened if you act the way i don't want you to i'll end up starting to cut and if i start cut again i don't know if i'll be able to stop....it will be so hard almost 30 dyas free and every night i don't sleep cuz all i think about is cutting errr i want to go for a run but its too late to go for a run errr this is pissing me off why didn't you give me a hug good night tonight you ****ing asshole can't give me a hug before you go to bed huh **** you when was the last time you gave me a hug no wound why i feel like i do i feel so unloved by you and you not hugging me isn't helping me its just make me want to cut each night even more than the night before and one of night i know its going to happened if i don't tell you but i can cuz you'll look at me and brush it off like its no big deal **** i feel as if you hate me why do you hate me all i did was love you dad and you can't even love me back well that what i feel
i HATE you, i really do i hate your god f888ing guts
but i love you so much
i wish you realized just how much i hate you right now, but instead you choose to live inside your lies and put this off as just another one of my episodes as always, and it's not, i really cannot stand you right now, but i long to hear your voice, if only to tell you goodbye
i just want to thank you, so
Thanks for giving me a reason to feel the way i do about you,
you rotten motherf888er you deserve to rot in pergatory for eternity
dont ever talk to me, look at me, or expect me to be there ever again
you've lost my trust and you've lost my respect, you mean nothing to me
you are nothing but a face in the crowd now, anything we ever had, whatever bond of friendship there was has been severed beyond repair and i blame you
