was originally diagnosed with depression. Then a psychologist diagnosed me (after one meeting i might add) as being BPD and never actually told me. Then i ended up in hospital where they said nothing was wrong...yeah cause i was there for no reason...like it was my life ambition to spend 9 months in a psych unit!. Then i had to fill my diagnosis in on some form so asked the staff there who said i had bpd (thats when i found out). Then when i applied for dla and was refused, i asked for a reconsideration (to which i got it) and was sent all the info my gp and psych had sent. I then found from that i had an anxiety/panic disorder. I dont care really its just a label that says im not normal...which i knew anyway!
My counsellor causually mentioned that I look up DID when I next get the chance, at our last meeting. She knows I like to research things when I am worried or whatever,I just like the knowledge. so,I don't know,maybe she is thinking that. People have tried to point me down as depression,but there is a part of me that really isn't depressed,hence the DID.
I unno.
"You're in the bathroom carving holiday designs into yourself,hoping no one would find you.But THEY found you,and they took you,and you somehow survived."
I have no idea what any of these people are diagnosing me with.....being a minor sucks, as they spend all their time asking you questions that have nothing to do with diagnosing ("Are you excited about school?" "So, how do you like your job?" "What are you going to buy with the money?") and never TELL you anything.....they just up your meds and then cut them down, up them, and cut them down--"I changed your dosage. I think this will have a better outcome with your situation." Of course, I know that quite a few answers would come about if I actually were to TELL him even 50% of how I REALLY feel.....but that would involve being sent away to some psych ward, which wouldn't be half bad, if it wasn't necessary that my mother know where I disappeared to.....all I know for sure is that I'm being treated for depression, OCD for plain OCD and also to reduce ED thoughts, and now my psychiatrist is beginning to think I have ADD or ADHD.....naw. Really. I've only been saying I think I have it for 5 years.....
If I were to diagnose myself, I would say: Depressed (a LOT), Severe Social Anxiety Disorder, Panic Attacks, ADHD, and a few others, but my mom is standing in here now.....gotta go.....
Info from some site.....(the purple stuff).....describes me pretty well.....
Cluster C: These patients tend to be nervous and passive or rigid and preoccupied. Dependent personality is characterized by the surrender of responsibility to others. Affected people may submit to others to gain and maintain support. For example, they often allow the needs of those people they depend on to supersede their own. They lack self-confidence and feel intensely inadequate about taking care of themselves. They believe that others are more capable, and they are reluctant to express their views for fear that their aggressiveness will offend the people whom they need. Dependency in other personality disorders may be hidden by obvious behavioral problems; eg, histrionic or borderline behaviors mask underlying dependency. Avoidant personality is marked by hypersensitivity to rejection and fear of starting relationships or anything new because of the risk of failure or disappointment. Because of their strong conscious desire for affection and acceptance, affected people are openly distressed by their isolation and inability to relate comfortably to others. They respond to even small hints of rejection by withdrawing. Obsessive-compulsive personality is characterized by conscientiousness, orderliness, and reliability, but inflexibility often makes affected people unable to adapt to change. They take responsibilities seriously, but because they hate mistakes and incompleteness, they can become entangled with details and forget their purpose. As a result, they have difficulty making decisions and completing tasks. Such problems make responsibilities a source of anxiety, and they rarely enjoy much satisfaction from their achievements. Most obsessive-compulsive traits are adaptive, and as long as they are not too marked, people who have them often achieve much, especially in the sciences and other academic fields in which order, perfectionism, and perseverance are desirable. However, they can feel uncomfortable with feelings, interpersonal relationships, and situations in which they lack control or must rely on others or in which events are unpredictable.
Other personality types: Several other personality types have been described but are not classified as disorders in the DSM-IV. Passive-aggressive (negativistic) personality typically produces the appearance of ineptness or passivity, but these behaviors are covertly designed to avoid responsibility or to control or punish others. Passive-aggressive behavior is often evidenced by procrastination, inefficiency, or unrealistic protests of disability. Frequently, affected people agree to perform tasks they do not want to perform and then subtly undermine completion of the tasks. Such behavior usually serves to deny or conceal hostility or disagreements. Cyclothymic personality (see also Mood Disorders: Cyclothymic Disorder) alternates between high-spirited buoyancy and gloom and pessimism; each mood lasts weeks or longer. Characteristically, the rhythmic mood changes are regular and occur without justifiable external cause. When these features do not interfere with social adaptation, cyclothymia is considered a temperament and is present in many gifted and creative people. Depressive personality is characterized by chronic moroseness, worry, and self-consciousness. Affected people have a pessimistic outlook, which impairs their initiative and disheartens others. Self-satisfaction seems undeserved and sinful. They unconsciously believe their suffering is a badge of merit needed to earn the love or admiration of others.
I am not afraid to keep on living-I am not afraid to walk this world alone..Biting keeps your words at bay,tending to the sores that stay-happiness is just a gash away.When i open a familiar scar,pain goes shooting like a star-comfort hasn't failed to follow so far.And pens and penknives take the blame,crane my neck and scratch my name.-but the ugly marks are worth the momentary gain.When i drive a sharpened object in,choirs of angels seem to sing hymns of hate in memorandum
Ive been diagnosed with severe depression and paranoid personality disorder. Agree with the depression, not so sure about the PPD, think it was thrown in the air a little too soon. So ironic considering i was so annoyed that i wasnt given a named diagnosis, and now i have one i dont like it, lol
Carly xxx
I tried to be someone else, but nothing seemed to change
I know now this is who I really am inside
[I don't wanna die, but i ain't keen on living either]
I thought about just listing mine after my name, kinda like college degrees -
Ms. Stephanie Surname, CD, SH, DID, BPD, GAD, PD, PTSD, PMS.
That would make the scholars go *what?* :)
Steph, and in no particular order, my DID Alters:
Charity, Cheryl, Lindy, Monica, Sarah, Rachel, Renee', Sharon, Tasha, and DeadLady
AKA Princess Stress of Angstville
RYL Family - Little sister of Absi
i also have "disordered eating patterens/behaviours and excessive alcohol intake (somethiing like that. i dont even dirnk THAT much) that do not warrent a diagnosis as they are believed to be affective of bipolar disorder"
i am formaly diagnosed with Anorexia, sevear Depression and anxiety and Obsesive compulsive 'behaviours', self harming and sucidal tendancies.
They keep talking about OCD and PTSD but as of yet noones ever told me i'm diagnosed with it...but then that doesnt mean much 'coz they arnt very talkative...
Last edited by -Tough-Cookie- : 30-08-2007 at 09:43 AM.
“Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles.”
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