- Although my parents are divorced , my step mum is amazing most of the time.
- I am the "perfect" child
- I don't have many friends , but the ones I do are mostly awesome.
- I get "good" grades.
- I used to the bubbly , happy blonde one.
- I have a rather secure lifestyle with money
- I pretend to be the strong one
- Everyone thinks i'm in control
- Everyone comes to me for help
- The responisble one
However;
- I feel my grades aren't good enough
- I feel I can never be perfect enough
- My real mum doesn't want me and I haven't seen her since I was eight. Shes a druggie and an alcoholic. I feel I can't ever be good enough , since she didn't want me.
- I was sexually abused at 14 , but I've hid it
- I am actually the furthest out of control that is possible , even though I love it
- My grandads got cancer that is inoperable
- I've never been close to anyone, I always feel like an outisder
- I struggle with friendship
- I find it hard to vent my feelings
- I find it hard to cope
- I have to help at home a lot
I hate pain unless I cause it. I was never "emo".
It may not be pleasant ; but it's always possible - Brian Molko ♥
I was filled with incoherence .Theories of conspiracy .The whole world wants my disappearance, I'll go fighting nail and teeth .You've never seen such perseverance .Gonna make you scared of me,'Cause haemoglobin is the key - Placebo♥
I'm just not the sort of person that does that, even to me, even after 10 years I cant talk about SI at work and train people about it with a totally different head on to the one that actually does go homw and do it. It doesn't even feel like a lie cos I'm not like a self harmer at all.
There's a massive assumption that its something you have grown out of by 24 and I'm just so 'normal' not a high or low achiever, never had awful things happen to me, just me.
Goody-two-shoes, hides depression well, no scars on arms (what's with everyone and arms? I don't get why SI is only supposed to be on arms), clean cut, have friends, can be very happy (usually I get really depressed the night after though), supportive mom.
I don't self injure on my arms. I never have.
There's a lot of people who don't because of the possibility of somebody finding out, or just to hide scars and such. But self harm is not area specific.
Do what you love to do, and you'll never work another day in your life.
I have a pretty good life on the surface
achieve whatever i put my mind to
am always smiling and always put others before myself
I have lots of good friends
blood n stuff on other people quite often freaks me out a bit
but theres lots i don't think about because it confuses me
sometimes i feel really alone
-Straight 'A' student
-Live in a good home
-Attend a great school
-Have friends (not a lot, enough.)
-No scars on arms (well, lots of scars on my arms, but none from SI)
-No abuse in my past
-No obvious family problems
-Friendly, and can make conversation with almost everyone.
-Always smiling, when I'm around others.
- I'm an over achiever
- I do well in school
- I write and play music
- I have really good friends
- I've never had anything tragic happen to me. Ever.
- I always seem happy
-I seem in control
However:
-I don't like myself
-I never think I'm good enough
-My anxiety controls me
-I feel as if I'm a failure
My contradictions:
- I hate blood
-I'll tell everyone else not to worry, yet I always do
- I can give advice, just can't take it well
I really like this thread, it's been interesting to read. For me...
-I've always been the goody-two-shoes girl (on the outside)
-I was raised as the "Christian preacher's daughter"
-I graduated from college with honors
-I graduated with a degree in social work/psychology
-I've worked for a suicide/crisis intervention center, right after I started SI'ing, and told many people the things I should have listened to, myself
-I have no visible scars, only hidden ones. I've even convinced a police officer who had been called to check on me that I was fine and that there was a big misunderstanding, because of the fact I have no visible scars.
-I've rarely cried in front of anyone, not even my family
-I'm really good at hiding my depression
However:
-I've never been able to get over my father passing away unexpectedly when I was 19 (I'm 22 now) and it's one of the main reasons I'm so depressed
-I lost 2 of my friends in a drunk driving accident only a month before my father passed away
-I only have 2 friends and rarely get to see them, so I'm alone 98% of the time
-I've had extreme anxiety my whole life
-I've been unemployed since I graduated from college a year ago because there aren't any jobs and that makes me feel worthless and like a failure
-I have a really bad temper, but not many people see that because I hide it
-I feel like my life is passing me by and that I'm never going to have any of the things I want because nothing is happening for me
-And I just found out this week that my grandfather isn't going to make it more than a week or so because of his lung cancer and he's the only extended family I've really been close to
Last edited by SunsetxJunkie : 26-04-2010 at 07:04 AM.
Reason: Forgot some things.
*people see me as very mature for my age
*I'm an overachever
*I have the most Loving, supportive family anyone could wish for
*I've never been abused in anyway
*I've been homeschooled most of my life, I've had a wonderful and shelted childhood
However
*I am not good at managing emotions
*I don't like myself
*I'm unable to forgive myself
Last edited by castaway : 26-04-2010 at 09:02 AM.
Reason: left something out
-I grew up in a loving, happy household
-I did really well in school grade wise
-I was really independent
-I'm a christian and have been going to church all my life
-I live in a good area
And yet I developed depression around the age of 13, partly due to the pressures from school (even though I was academically doing very well- I was a perfectionist) and somehow came to believe that I didnt deserve to be alive anymore.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
I spend hours on a dance forum giving people advise like "Go for it!"
"Keep an open mind"
"Good luck!"
I'm a good student, I go to college although I'm in high school.
I also work part time.
I force a smile a lot
I always have advise for someone in crisis.
Supportive parents
Clean cut, lots of people who love me
i'm so 'happy' at school that i sometimes think i come across a a little eccentric. like seriously i'm SO 'HAPPY'
i'm very strong
im quite self sufficient
i have quite a lot of self confidence
i'm christian
i've got a great supportive family
and lots of friends
the most contradictory thing..
i have literally THE LOWEST PAIN THRESHOLD
they don't get it i wanna scream
i wanna breathe again
i wanna dream
I'm probably 1 of the most outgoing person out of all my friends.
I'm the furthest thing from "emo", I get called a chav.
I smile "too much"
I have "no problems"
I help my friends out, I rarely ask for support from them.
I'm getting A's in school. I fake a smile every day.
I keep myself to myself too much.
I rarely allow anyone in.
I hate pain, and blood - if its accidental I flip out.
-brought up catholic
-eldest child
-good grades/behave at school
-really out going
-always smiling
-i'm trusted with all the secrets
-always asked for advice
-get on with most people in my year
contradictions
-i hate pain
-i've convinced people not to self harm
-feel like i have no control
-Christian
-never been actually raped (molested as a teen, though)
-my parents quarreled a lot, but never divorced
-high grades in college
-always smiling and (pretend to be) cheerful
-help my friends with their emotional issues
-overall, people think that I am a successful and smart person
