A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
I wish I didn't think that I was ugly and fat
But I can't seem to change my thoughts
I wish I could stop looking at myself in the mirror 15-25 times and studying how much fat I have and where it is...
I wish I could see myself as others see me.
But I can't.
I wish food didn't rule every waking moment of my life.
But it does.
And in reality? I can't remember life without food ruling it. The thought scares me.
why do i always binge on weekends after a good week of not eating :| i hate you binges..... just for once would i like a saturday with no food.... JUST ONCE!!!!!!!
i feel like i am a BIG FAT PIG addicted to chocolate WHY do i have no self control WHY and i so ****ing pathetic and lonely and depressed.
i feel like i am so ****ing FAT and UGLY and USELESS that nobody will ever love me and i will be alone forever and never get to be married and have children which i desperately want.
I AM SO ****ED UP.
Last edited by effervescence : 29-04-2010 at 05:34 AM.
Reason: i can't spell....
Even as the stone of the fruit must break
that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.
There are only two ways in which one can live their life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is.
WHYYY do you do this to yourself?? Why do you feel the need to fill your body and empty it over and over and over again? What could you POSSIBLY get out of this?
Why don't I understand myself??
"Be the change you want to see in the world."
[Gandhi]
I hate the fact that I feel compelled to lie to 99% of the people I care about when it comes to my eating because I don't want them to worry, and the one person I tell everything too, I've even considered lying to her, and telling her I'm at a healthy weight, just so she doesn't have to worry about me, but then I remember, she'll figure it out eventually
so I tell her the truth, and it makes me feel bad.
“Because everything that goes around comes around. Maybe it's luck or maybe it's fate, but either way, it comes back around."
Rest in Love Sar-sis. I'll see you the next time around hopefully <3 12/11/92-05/18/16
AJs mommy ❤️ 11/26/17
Married to my best friend and Soulmate 3/5/18 ❤️💍
I need to stop eating when I'm upset and just because I can.
Today I ate like a normal person, breakfast, and a big lunch for a celebration party.
The rest of the time I stuff my face because I'm bored/upset/stressed/because I can.
Clearly, big fat failure.
rofl rofl rofl rofl. Hilarious.
You can treat the symptom and shove me in hospital, but it's useless if nobody identified the cause.
"Watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
